


Cursebreaker

by PaisleyWraith



Series: The Ken-Myth-Ology [2]
Category: South Park
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2018-01-14
Packaged: 2019-02-23 21:40:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 20
Words: 45,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13199085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PaisleyWraith/pseuds/PaisleyWraith
Summary: Sequel to Curses, Curses: Now that Kyle’s curse has been broken, he intends to find a way to break Kenny’s. No matter that the guy has been dealing with it for years. However long it takes, whatever he encounters, Kyle is determined to stop the universe from trying to boot Kenny off the face of the planet. Even if he has to face it head-on.





	1. Poor Stan

“I’m so done with you two.” Poor, pitiful Stan sighed, resting his chin on his hand. 

“Why Stan,” Kenny eyes glittered. “That’s not very supportive of you.”

Stan gave him a long-suffering look.

“Get off me, you idiot,” Kyle told the blond without infliction. “I can’t see the textbook.”

Kenny tsked his tongue, but obediently slid off his lap to sit next to him. Kyle leaned over the thick volume, tapping his fingers against the pages.

“Buddhist Reincarnation?” Stan read upside down. “What class is that for?”

“More of a project,” Kyle murmured in reply. “And it’s not what I’m looking for.”

With that, he stood, slamming the book shut and returning to the shelf where he’d gotten it. Kenny watched him, a soft fondness on his face that Stan felt embarrassed to be witnessing.

“I’m really, really glad for you two,” He mentioned, both hands supporting his chin now. “And I have the feeling you’re trying to bother me on purpose.”

Kenny grinned. “Why would I do that?”

“Because you’re an asshole.”

“Point.”

Kyle came back empty-handed, plopping down on the chair with an air of frustration. Both Stan and Kenny looked over at him.

“What?” Kyle asked. Stan shook his head. He looked over at Kenny. “Are you taking a break or what?”

“You know,” Kenny said, sighing as he went back to his homework. “Sometimes dating you has its downfalls.”

“Mmhm,” Kyle said, taking out his phone to make himself a reminder list. “You know, Stan’s working.”

“Stan is ogling us, babe.”

“Kenny, ew.” Stan picked up an eraser to toss at him. Kenny picked it up and whipped it back with much more force. Stan ducked.

A pencil case was thrown at Kenny and bounced off his shoulder. Kyle glared, giving them both a look that wasn’t near as powerful as it ought to be, considering he looked about two seconds away from cracking up.

“Knock it off,” He said, green eyes flickering. Stan was grinning and Kenny was smothering giggles. “I don’t want to get kicked out of my own workplace.”

“Wouldn’t want to make it a third time, huh?” Kenny asked.

“What?” Stan questioned.

“Shut up Kenny.” Kyle was blushing, going back to bending over his phone.

It was bizarre how easy it had been to fall back into this. As a trio. Stan looked up to smile and paused at Kenny.

The boy was staring off at something now, and both Kyle and Stan immediately and obviously looked over their shoulders.

Craig and Tweek were walking towards the front desk, Tweek speaking to Kyle’s coworker and handing a book back. The tall brunet was checking his phone, looking very disinterested. Until he looked up, and saw three boys staring at them.

It was probably as close to surprised Craig looked on a normal day. He flipped them off, looking almost alarmed, and Kenny waved. Stan and Kyle awkwardly followed suit. Craig definitely looked concerned with the attention now.

Tweek was done and looking between the boys. He waved awkwardly and grabbed Craig by the arm, pulling him towards the exit with rolled eyes and a blush. 

“I never see them anymore,” Kenny commented. “Have they been hiding out with each other the past year or something?”

“They hang with Clyde and Token still,” Stan noted. “And Jimmy. A lot. But no, I don’t talk to them a whole lot.”

“We should all have some kind of get-together before we graduate,” Said Kyle, rather unexpectedly. Stan raised his eyebrows and Kenny smiled.

“That could be fun,” He leaned back against his chair. “I kinda miss just hanging out with everyone as one big group, yanno?”

Stan made a noise of agreement. For a while, it had been him, Wendy, Wendy’s friends, and Kenny, sometimes Kyle. The redhead had nearly taken himself out of everyone’s friend list, but ever since he and Kenny started dating last month, he’d seen a surprising change. Kyle talked to more people, dropped his tutoring and actually spent time with him. Like he had his friend back. He kept meaning to awkwardly ask Kenny if he had anything to do with that, but in the end he thought it might be best to just let it go. Just enjoy having him back.

He needed an escape from these thoughts, they were making him feel mushy.

“I gotta check out a laptop,” He told the duo, standing.

Kyle nodded and Kenny kicked back in his chair.

“Stop trying to be all PDA on purpose around Stan,” Kyle mentioned once the brunet was out of hearing range, though he was suppressing a grin as he looked up. “You’re going to scare him away.”

“Did you see how he was acting when he and Wendy got together the latest time?” Kenny asked, raising his eyebrows.

Kyle rolled his eyes, his smile finally breaking free. “I do.”

“Then you know it’s only fair,” Kenny reveled in the laugh he got from Kyle. His grin softened, and he kicked Kyle’s sneaker affectionately. “Besides. I alone have the rights to flirt up my hot, redhead boyfriend. I gotta flaunt it somehow.”

Kyle snorted, badly-concealing his smile. Sometimes Kenny worried that if he truly did choose a career as a lawyer, he had a terrible time keeping a straight face.

Not that he minded. All the secret smiles and blushes were honestly kind of adorable.

“You’re ridiculous,” Kyle dismissed in a way that meant he was really pleased. He reached over, however, brushing back Kenny’s hair out of his eyes. He reveled in the privilege, liking how Kenny just smiled, crookedly. Like it was normal.

“You need a haircut,” Kyle noted fondly, and immediately regretted bringing up the topic of hair. Thankfully, Kenny was gracious.

“I’ll get around to it.” He sighed, not looking bothered.

“Mm.” Kyle hummed quietly. He lovingly carded his fingers through his hair one more time. “You go to work at four, right?”

“Yup.” Kenny wrinkled his nose in disappointment when Kyle pulled his hand back.

“You should probably leave soon,” Kyle showed him the time on his smartwatch. “Want me to drive you?”

“Nah, I like the walk,” Kenny stretched.

“Want me to pick you up after?”

Kenny paused in the middle of his stretching, raising his eyebrows. “Whatcha have planned, babe?” He scooted his chair over with a loud squeak. “That might change my answer.”

Kyle swatted him. “I just don’t like you walking around at night by yourself.”

“Don’t you worry about me,” Kenny fluffed Kyle’s hair and stood. “I’ll call you if I need you to, how about that?”

Kyle pursed his lips, and grabbed Kenny’s shirt to haul him down for a kiss. He had been surprised to find he actually had 0 qualms with being public with affection. In a way, he felt it was probably selfish. He liked the idea that he could kiss Kenny, whenever he felt like it. Just him.

Kenny laughed against his lips, cupping his cheek to get a better angle. He, of course, hadn’t any problems with Kyle liking to kiss in front of people.

“Text me when you’re home,” Kyle told him, feeling terribly domestic and very conflicted on how to feel about that. Tone it down, Broflovski.

Kenny, of course, took it in stride.

“Sure,” He kissed him once more before standing and reaching for his backpack. “Don’t die of loneliness without me, sugar.”

Kyle watched him go, smiling, as Kenny stopped by Stan chatting with another study table to say goodbye. Ruffling his hair as well. Goddamn cute. The whole idiot was so goddamn cute.

It had been practically hours into Kyle kissing Kenny for the first time to agree that they were dating. Basically it consisted of kisses over tea and Kyle outright asking him if he’d be interested in dating exclusively. Kenny had agreed with vigor. Very, very, affectionate vigor. Overall? It went well.

The only downfall was that they didn’t exactly get to see each other often. Their schedules meant the two didn’t get to spend a lot of time together, but Kyle dropped tutoring and changed his weekend hours at the library to match Kenny’s schedule. His hope was this upcoming week should change.

Thinking back on his choice to exclude Kenny, Kye had come to realize some things in life were too important to let slip by. Giving up tutoring was a surprisingly easy choice. He supposed it was better to learn this at 17 rather than wait until middle-age.

_Blip!_

**Kenny M: hey cutie need 2 ask something**

**Kyle snorted. Not two minutes out the door. Weirdo.**

**Kyle B: Ask, then.**

**Kenny M: k more like can u do me a favor**

**Kyle B: Of course.**

**Kenny M: <3<3<3<3<3**

**Kenny M: pick up karen from student news she texted me her ride is sick**

**Kyle B: Yep. What time?**

**Kenny M: 430 ty ilu ky <3<3**

Kyle snorted, trying to cover his smile with his hand in a casual movement. Tried to stop the happy thrills running over his arms and down his spine. This was ridiculous, he was being ridiculous.

“He literally just left,” Stan’s voice was shaking with suppressed giggles. Kyle looked up, slowly. Glaring. Half-heartedly.

“I’m being helpful, you ass,” Kyle looked around for another eraser. “I’m picking up Karen from her newspaper meeting.”

The sappy look on Stan’s face was very uncomfortable.

“Stop looking at me like that.”

“This is so weird,” Stan was laughing now. “You two are so cute.”

“Stoooop.”

Stan’s smile only widened.

“No wonder Craig and Tweek are pissed, they’ve been replaced as ‘cutest gay couple in South Park.’ They had a good run, I guess?”

“Shut uuuuuuup.” Kyle was whining now and he didn’t even care. He didn’t even have his hat to pull over his head and hide. Kenny apparently really liked touching his hair (something he’d maybe kind of noticed) and like a weirdo, Kyle started not wearing it just in case he wanted to (not that he’d ever, ever, admit it) and just keeping up with cutting the curly mop he was cursed with.

Speaking of curses.

Kyle pointedly ignored Stan, blushing madly, bringing up his phone again.

Reincarnation was not what he was looking for. Kenny didn’t come back different, just uninjured. Nothing else changed about him. It took him a damn month to figure that out.

This was Kyle’s new obsession. Kenny didn’t like talking about it, but he always got this soft look when he saw Kyle researching. He’d gone over to Kyle’s house the other day, where Kyle had about five tabs open on immortality and reincarnation, and spent the rest of the day nuzzled up against him.

Kyle was trying. If it took him years, he would figure this out.

Kenny knew that. Without it being said, Kyle knew how much Kenny appreciated it. Just him trying. He only had to look at Kenny the other day, and notice the kind of smile. Almost indulgent, and very, very affectionate.

Kenny didn’t expect him to figure it out.

Kyle swore to himself that he would. Eventually.

For now, though, he was going to chill with his best friend. The title could freely be given, considering Kenny was now his boyfriend. Kyle looked up once he felt he was no longer red, finding Stan frowning at his computer screen.

Eh. Might as well see if the jackass needed help.

\--

Kyle parked by the entrance closest to the newsroom fifteen minutes early. Karen was out of the doors at 4:30 exactly. She peered out, seeing Kyle’s car she hoisted up a bookbag and loped out through the snow and to the car.

He gladly drove her home, hearing the screams from the elder McCormicks inside as he dropped her off. Karen didn’t seem to notice, saying goodbye and skipping out of the car like nothing was wrong.

Somehow, Kyle doubted Karen was actually as carefree and sweet as she portrayed.

He was starting to think he was naïve. He wasn’t stupid, he knew he was a little sheltered by his nice family life and moderate popularity. Sometimes he felt a little sick, knowing he barely had to work for anything and Kenny was more or less supporting his family. That he and Karen were stuck in a place where their parents neglected their basic needs or wants, forced to pretty much be adults from a young age. Kenny tried to shelter her, but Kyle had his suspicions that Karen knew that as well.

What could he do? Nothing. Kyle trudged up to his room after a kiss from his mother and a half-assed hello from Ike. He came home to affection from his parents, his brother, to a nice home full of sure, arguments, but a lot of love, too.

Funny how you overlook a lot of shit as a kid.

He did not think Kenny would want to talk about any of this, for sure. For one, they haven’t discussed some other rather big things yet. Like fucking death and getting trapped on a single day. He hadn’t even told Kenny they’d kissed before, fuck damn it.

Secondly, Ken’s home life was something deemed taboo a loooooooong time ago. Even Boyfriend Rights didn’t have the right to prod into shit like that.

Goddamn it, now he was even sounding like Kenny.

The thought cheered him up significantly, enough that he cracked a smile, and Kyle flopped down on the bed to finish his leather-bound book open spine-up where he left off last night.

The nice thing was, if Kenny did need anyone he’d be around. Kyle, being a planner for the future, occasionally wondered for how long and if their futures would differ too much…he knew Kenny would never leave home until Karen could, and Kyle was planning on heading to the northeast for university. Cornell Law, preferably. He hadn’t divulged that to anyone yet, mostly because he was nervous.

In elementary, he was the Smart Kid. In high school, he was one of the smart kids. Not being top of his class anymore had hit him hard, going off to an Ivy was looking shaky. But he’d applied. And kept applying.

Even if he’d be paying student loans until he died.

Would Kenny even want to stick around a really, really long-distance relationship? This was stupid to think when they’d only been together a handful of weeks, sure, but…

Kyle shook his head, trying to clear his mind. Nope. They’d been together a month, they’d only been on like two dates, this was not something he was going to worry about yet. Not yet.

He’d zoned out. Kyle actually focused on the page for the first time. Shoot. He’d started flipping pages while he thought. He thumbed back through to where he left off, checking the time on his phone.

7:46 p.m.

Funny, he didn’t think he’d spent that long thinking about college applications and long-term relationships. His eyes flicked uneasily to the name of the day. Thursday.

Thursday. He grit his teeth. The damn day had been a source of anxiety for weeks. He cringed every time it came around. And it was stupid, but him zoning out and seeing the date sent his heart racing. So.

**Kyle B: It’s Thursday. I lost track of time.**

He got his reply within another seven minutes. The best part about Kenny was he immediately knew exactly what was going on.

**Kenny M: its ok ky ur not in the loop**

**Kenny M: just thurs it happens cant skip it :)**

Kyle took a breath. He wasn’t in the loop. It was just another day on the calendar. He squeezed his eyes shut.

The whole event was so surreal. He nearly killed himself over it due to the stress, Kenny actually _had_ killed himself and that was still a major source of anxiety to him. Stan was clueless. He could be back in the loop again, what if he just didn’t remember this time?

**Kenny M: ky ru ok**

Kyle inhaled sharply. Shakily.

**Kyle B: Yeah.**

He hated how scared he got over this. It was terrifying and he still didn’t know why, or why it would change just because Kenny- because Kenny ended his life for him.

Kyle covered his eyes.

It could happen again, it could happen any second. And Kyle wasn’t going to let Kenny die again, no matter how or if he came back, so he didn’t know what he would do.

Maybe he would step out into traffic the next time. He clearly was easy to warp to insanity.

**Kenny M: u sure?**

Punctuation. He must really be concerned. Kyle grit his teeth.

**Kyle B: Yes, don’t worry about it. I’m fine.**

**Kenny M: :)**

Kyle laid back on the bed, book tucked beside him. He kept his eyes on the clock.

8:21

Don’t reset.

9:02

Nearly two hours went by. He should know by now, right?

9:10

No, he’d passed nine before. He could never remember where the time cutoff was, probably midnight if he were being logical, right?

9:16

_Tap._

Kyle’s eyes widened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are, second installment! This used to be Curses chapter 12, but has been renamed as it's own work. Enjoy!


	2. The Calm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluff. Just filler fluff. No, really. You could omit it from the story and little would be missed.

“Kenny!” Kyle let him in, fumbling with the locks on the window.

Kenny slipped in easily, immediately getting in Kyle’s face to squish his cheeks between his palms.

“Ken-” Kyle didn’t get much further before Kenny kissed his squished lips. Twice. Three times.

“You’re okay,” Kenny said, thumbs stroking his cheeks. “You’re not in a loop. It’s just Thursday, Ky. Just a normal day.”

Kyle exhaled, closing his eyes. Kenny moved to pull him into a hug, and Kyle went willingly into his arms to melt against him.

Kyle buried his nose in his neck, looping his arms around his waist. This was better. He could feel the terror bleeding away as if it were something tangible. Kenny lovingly traced circles on his spine.

“You didn’t have to sneak into my house,” Kyle murmured, finding himself soothed already. “I was okay.”

Kenny moved to press an exaggerated kiss against his curls. “Come on, I couldn’t go home without checking on you. Gotta make sure you aren’t pining too bad, babe.”

It was a weaker joke than normal, but Kyle still smiled, snuggling against the scrawny teen. In a rash decision fueled by tender affection, he pressed a soft kiss against Kenny’s neck. The blond squeezed him, giggling into his hair. Kyle felt his body relaxing automatically.

This was nice. Like taking a warm bath after a chill.

“C’mere,” Kenny said, pulling Kyle towards the bed. He paused when Kyle staggered, trying to stay in one place, and the redhead didn’t have to look to tell he was smirking. “What’s wrong, Ky? I just thought it might be easier to cuddle on a bed, is all.” He peered down, eyes glittering with mischief. “Unless you were thinking of something else?”

“Shut up,” Kyle said, cheeks pink.

Kenny giggled and flopped down on the bed, playfully yanking Kyle as well. He curled himself around the Jewish boy like a happy octopus, nestling his chin on the top of his head.

Kyle squirmed slightly, trying to shift into a more comfortable position. Kenny didn’t move, only wrapped his arms and legs around him more tightly, making it near impossible to move.

“Am I trapped now?” Kyle asked wryly.

“Forever,” Kenny affirmed cheerfully. “Or just until it’s Friday.”

Kyle snorted.

He was willing to just lay there and close his eyes, rest his worries a little and just let himself be. Kenny was stability, safety. He’d always been a strong part of his life. Trying to remove him had been one of the worst ideas he’d ever had. He kicked himself to think he’d wasted two years of his life. What would they have done if he’d just admitted to Kenny in the first place? 

Hands crept ticklishly up his sides, interrupting his thoughts. He gently nudged them away without opening his eyes, thinking it was on accident.

He thought that (in the case that it was reciprocated) it would be weird. This wasn’t. This wasn’t weird at all. Kenny crept into his room to cuddle because Kyle had been frightened and it wasn’t weird. Having Kenny stand at his shoulder or elbow and tease him or fluff his hair wasn’t weird. It was like rather than change their relationship, it simply morphed. As if this were the logical next step.

Kenny shoved his hands under his shirt.

Kyle yelped, slapping a hand over his mouth in fear of his parents hearing. Tickling fingers ran up and down his stomach, sending him choking to keep from laughing. Kenny was laughing, moving to reach again and Kyle sat up quickly and shoved his hands away. Kenny reached again and Kyle grabbed his wrists to the bed.

The shorter boy glared down at him, face flushed. Kenny was smiling up at him, teeth showing in a grin and eyes vivid blue. Kyle’s eyes flit over his face, struggling to remain unaffected. Kenny’s smile was infectious. He had dimples in his cheeks, his grin spread over his entire face and bled into his eyes.

He’d always been cute.

Cute and sweet, and Kyle had kind of overlooked him a lot. Kyle worked in cliques, having a group to work off of and be around. People he preferred. He preferred Stan because…Stan, Cartman he spent a lot of time with because his personality more or less demanded your attention in some way. Kenny…he skipped over.

Until he started growing up. And he watched Kenny smirk when Karen bragged about Christmas or Birthday presents she clearly didn’t get from her parents, watched Kenny bring up the overall mood of the group by simply being there and being lively. He had a loving personality but had a streak in him that liked to fight. And he fought.

Kenny fought off everyone’s expectations for him. He was a surprisingly soft-spoken young man around people he didn’t know, he was even-tempered and chill, he didn’t do drugs or smoke or even drink much. Kenny worked and he went to school and he never seemed to hold a grudge against anyone. Understanding and strong and loving.

Teachers didn’t like Kenny. And he hadn’t been exactly wrong, what he said a while back, his parents would take a lot of convincing to accept Kenneth McCormick as Kyle’s preferred partner. And that had very little to do with the fact he was a boy.

Kyle’s green eyes were steely as he stared down at Kenny.

Why did no one love this boy? Kenny deserved so much and he didn’t get anything. He gave so much and received scorn. Kyle wanted to make sure he received love, ate well, was warm and happy because Kenny deserved every ounce of happiness.

“Kyle?” Kenny’s voice was gentle. His blue eyes were relaxed and he wasn’t fighting Kyle’s hands anymore. “I don’t mind, not in the least, trust me… but you’re literally pinning me to the bed right now.”

Kyle’s face turned red as he let go of Kenny’s wrists. The blond stretched, shirt grazing the hem of his jeans.

“Don’t blush, babe, I like that you’re kinky.”

Kyle smacked a hand over his face, trying to cover his red cheeks. “Don’t ever say that again.”

“The word kinky? Or that you’re kinky?” Kenny was poking him in the side. “Which one was the one that made you embarrassed?”

Kyle fixed him with a glare between his fingers, only to see Kenny’s eyes sparkling. Goddamn it he was such an ass and, unfortunately, so fucking cute.

“I was thinking,” Kyle snapped, pressing his cool hands against his cheeks to try and cool them down.

“Mmn?” Kenny laid back, staring back up at Kyle with half-lidded eyes.

Kyle pressed his lips together. Kenny was willing to listen but he wasn’t sure how much he wanted to say.

“I just appreciate you,” Kyle said quickly. “Is all.” Kenny was watching him with a surprised but soft expression. Gaining strength, Kyle took a moment to consider his words.

“Look, every day I was in the loop, I was miserable unless you were with me. You made it bearable.”

“Ky.” Kenny’s voice was sweet. Kyle kept talking, hand drifting to card through his hair.

“You stuck with me, if I was upset or sad or angry, you stuck around. I pissed you off and you just came back into my room later that night to explain why. So it’s-” Kyle wanted to stop with the schmaltz, but he’d gone too far now. “I-”

Kenny leaned up, supporting himself on an elbow to kiss him, interrupting whatever he was going to say. He kissed Kyle’s nose afterwards, kissing his cheeks along his jaw to his ear until Kyle shrugged off the ticklish kisses with a laugh.

“You’re so nerdy,” Kenny said happily. “Aw, Ky.”

Kyle snorted, trying to shove Kenny back down. “Jerk.”

“What? No,” Kenny flopped back down, reaching for his hand. “I think it’s cute. I’m glad you’re out of the loop, babe.”

Kyle glanced at the clock. Not Friday yet.

“You are,” Kenny said firmly. “Don’t worry.” Kyle still was watching the clock. Kenny pressed Kyle’s hand against his heart. “You’re cute, your curse is broken, and you got me. My popularity has skyrocketed since I started dating you.”

“I’m not popular, Kenny,” Kyle said with a snort. “Who’s raising your popularity?”

“Hey, smart, sweet, sexy?” Kenny waggled his eyebrows. “Hell yeah. I lucked out.”

Kyle’s cheeks heated, but he set his jaw. “Who said I was the sexy one here?”

Kenny squeaked, looking a cross between thrilled and almost afraid. “Did you just actually say sexy?” Another moment passed. “Wait. You think I’m sexy?!”

“I didn’t say that,” Kyle stammered, “Quiet down, it- my parents are home.”

“Right, right,” Kenny moved to fully sit up, still clenching Kyle’s fingers. “Quiet. Am I sexy, Kyle?”

“You’re the one that said the word in the first place,” Kyle rolled his eyes. “I just said I wasn’t.”

“First off, no, I’m never going to get over hearing you say that,” Kenny looked delighted. “Secondly, you’re sexy. God, you’re sexy, Kyle.”

Kyle was covering his face, but he only was allowed one hand.

“You sexy bastard. Cute hair, green eyes.” Kenny was fighting not to smile and losing. “Sweet legs, hot thighs, nice ass.”

“I’ve been into you since at least Freshman year,” Kyle blurted, looking to distract Kenny with something else. And to make him stop describing Kyle like a chicken drumstick. It seemed to work. Kenny’s brows raised.

“Wow, man.” Kenny sounded impressed. “Two years.”

“Two years since I noticed,” Kyle grumbled. “You grew on me.”

Kenny, surprisingly, did not have an innuendo for that. He did look happy, moving Kyle’s hand to rest against his cheek.

Kyle licked his lips. “I’m telling my parents about us dating. I haven’t gotten around to it yet, but…I will. Maybe…you can come over this weekend?”

“Here?” Kenny asked as Kyle ran a thumb over his cheekbone.

“For lunch or something,” Kyle affirmed. “Would you be able to?”

“Yep.” Kenny replied instantly. His eyes were wide. “Just let me know.”

How come no one adored this kid? Excited about having lunch with his family. Cute.

Both boys were quiet. Kyle moved to lay down next to Kenny, instantly drawn back into his arms.

“Thanks for picking up Karen,” Kenny said, muffled into Kyle’s shoulder.

“’Course, Ken.” Kyle murmured.

Kenny was quiet, pressing a soft kiss to his clothed shoulder.

“Want me to pick you guys up for school?”

“…Yes.” Kenny squeezed him, causing Kyle to cough. His poor ribcage.

This wasn’t too fast. Kyle had to calm down. They’d known each other practically their whole lives. He knew Kenny probably better than anyone. Not that that was saying much, but now he had a chance. He had the opportunity to learn everything.

And yes. He was annoyed by Kenny’s dislike of actually talking about shit or how he used humor in every instance, even if it wasn’t warranted. But Kenny had gladly talked to him tonight. Had crept into his room rather than go home and rest just because he knew he was upset. He kept waiting for the bad to hit, kept chalking it up to them not spending enough time with each other or not talking, but…they were happy.

Kyle was happy.

It was comfortable, it was foreign and it was familiar. Kyle never felt uncomfortable around Kenny. They’d be okay. Snuggled into each other on a Colorado winter night, they’d be just fine, curse or questionable futures be damned.


	3. The Storm

Karen popped up at Kyle’s shoulder once his day was over, all smiles and flyaway brown hair.

“Hey,” Kyle closed his locker, hefting his backpack over his shoulder. “Sorry I didn’t drive you guys to school today. Car problems, I ended up walking.”

“Kenny told me, Kyle, it’s okay!” The girl actually looped her arm with the older boy’s, smiling like sunshine up at him. “He says he can look at it for you, I just have to keep you from going home too soon. Want to walk with us?”

Kyle tsked his tongue, but walked arm-in-arm with Karen easily. “Kenny doesn’t have to look at my car,” He said. “I can get it looked at. Besides, he works at a gas station, not a car shop.”

“He worked at one last year,” Karen explained as they more or less forced other students to move so they could walk side by side down the high school hallways. “Kenny’s worked almost everywhere. He’s good at everything.”

Kyle couldn’t help a smile as he nodded slightly. Kenny was loved very much, of course, by his little sister. Karen had grown, but her love of her brother never wavered. If anything, she seemed to worship the middle McCormick.

As for the oldest, Kyle never asked where he moved to when he stormed out. He doubted even they knew.

Kenny was waiting at the bottom of the stairs, and laughed when he saw the two.

“Are we off to see the Wizard?” Kenny asked with a grin. “The Wonderful Wizard of Oz?”

Karen laughed and looped Kenny into their line. The three of them strode outdoors.

“Did your dad get your car started, babe?” Kenny asked, from over his little sister’s hair.

“Nope.” Kyle shrugged. “I’ll get it looked at, Ken. I know you work today.”

“Not until later,” Kenny lifted his chin, eyes sparkling. “I’ve got time.”

Kyle pressed his lips together to hide his smile. “Fine.” It did give him a great excuse. Kenny didn’t seem to own a coat, despite the fact Karen clearly had a newish one, and if he even looked at the car he’d have a reason to buy Kenny something without too much of a fuss. Kyle eyed his worn sweatshirt. Something insulated and warm.

Karen wanted to stick around while Kenny looked at the car, but insisted she was fine outside. Kyle ran in to grab his keys off the coffee table.

“Hm? Is your car working?” His mother absently called from the kitchen.

“Kenny’s going to look at it, Ma.” Kyle glanced up. “He knows what he’s doing.”

“Little Kenny?” That tidbit was enough to get his mother’s interest. She poked her head out to go over to the window and peer out.

“Ma.”

“And his sister! Why are you making them stay out in the cold, Kyle?” His mother more or less started shoving him towards the door. Kyle’s sneakers slid against the carpet. “Go, go, go. Tell them to come inside and have some something warm to drink.” Sheila finally let her son go, stumbling a couple steps. “Kenny isn’t even wearing a coat, look at him!”

Why exactly did he think his mom was going to be a problem? The only problem was convincing her not to adopt the damn siblings. 

Kyle stumbled outside, where Kenny was listening to his sister chatter with a soft smile on his face. 

“Hey,” Kyle called over. Both siblings turned to beam at him. “My mom wants to know if you want to come in and get something to snack on afterwards.”

“Yeah!” Karen fistpumped, scarf flying.

Kenny caught the keys tossed at him, shooting Kyle a flirtatious smile and a wink. Kyle shook his head.

“Watch me work my magic, Broflovski.” Kyle swung the keys around on the keychain.

“Waiting with bated breath,” Kyle deadpanned as Karen bounded over to sit beside him on the front stairs.

Karen leaned her head against Kyle’s shoulder, looping arms again. Kyle found it more sweet than strange. He loved Ike, having a younger sister would have been nice, too. Kyle sat next to her and smiled over at the mechanic, who was whistling as he pulled up the hood.

“I’m going to make you a new hat,” Karen suddenly said.

“What?” Kyle asked, looking down at her.

She reached up to touch his worn, oft-re-stitched ushanka. “I learned how to knit. Your hat’s all falling apart, Kyle. You still like green?”

“Green is great,” Kyle said, a touch bewildered. “Thanks, Karen.”

The girl hummed happily and went back to watching her brother.

“It’s a battery problem,” Kenny called over to the duo.

“What magic!” Kyle teased with a grin. “Astounding! A battery problem, who could’ve guessed?!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Kenny waved at him. “Laugh at the poor man slaving over the car hood. Laugh it up, I might change my mind.”

“Want me to help push it into the garage?” Kyle offered the asshole. “So you’re not standing out in the cold?”

“Mmm… Maybe.” Kenny leaned over the hood. “My hands are freezing off my fingers.”

Gloves. Gloves, too. Something waterproof and lined.

FWOOM

A crackling noise, then a sudden feeling of mild irritation. Fucking Assholes. Then peace, calm. He and Karen just stared out at the street, where they’d been watching cars go by.

It was nice that Karen liked him. He’d always gotten along with her, though. Kenny was fiercely protective but of course, he trusted Kyle to be alone with her. He’d look after her if Kenny wasn’t around.

The affection Kenny offered typically wasn’t said. Kenny offered physical love, but didn’t say a whole lot other than cheesy nicknames. Relying on Kyle, trusting him with his sister, however, that and Kenny hanging off him every few seconds made it apparent he cared about him.

Kyle was fairly certain he loved Kenny, honestly. Might have even before the whole curse fiasco.

Something sharp, like pain, pierced into Kyle’s mind. A memory, a jab of something he should already know.

The blood drained from Kyle’s face.

“Kenny?” Kyle sprung up. It was like now could see something, like he’d been blind in one eye. “Kenny?”

“Kyle?” Karen was staring up at him, a mildly puzzled, content smile on her face. “What’s wrong?”

Kyle stared.

Kenny.

The car.

Curses.

No.

Kyle flew towards the car, wind whipping against him. He felt like he as running in slow motion. Everything felt foggy, slow.

The world flew back into focus the next second.

Kenny was lying on the concrete, eyes open. Bits of metal stuck into his face, his sweatshirt, making it look as if he were dirty. Liquid from the car seeped into his shirt and splottled his skin. He was bleeding. From wounds and from his orifices.

“K-Kenny…” Kyle fell to his knees beside him, the cold concrete roughing up his knees through his jeans. “Kenny?”

He was so still. So very still. He’d never seen Kenny like this, devoid of color and movement. Everything that made him Kenny.

“What’s wrong, Kyle?”

Kyle didn’t even register her voice at first, frozen in horror. Kenny was pale, unmoving, a look of surprise frozen on his face. He hadn’t even heard him cry out…had he screamed? Kyle cupped his face, cold under his fingers. How long had he been dead and he hadn’t noticed?

Oh God. Dead. Kenny was dead.

A whimper slipped past his lips. Dead. Kenny had died. Kenny was killed.

“Kenny…” Kyle kept repeating his name, vision blurring. His shaped, cold face against his fingers. No pulse. He’d just been cuddling last night, he was warm and vibrant and here he was cold and white and dead, dead, dead.

“Kenny’s busy. He’ll be back.” Kyle slowly lifted his eyes to see Karen watching him with that vague smile, unbothered by her brother’s corpse or by Kyle’s jeans soaking up his blood.

Kyle looked back down. Beautiful mosaic eyes stared up at the clear sky, dead as glass.

“…Kenny.” He brushed his thumbs over his cheeks.

“I’m glad you’re dating Kenny, Kyle.” Karen went on, happily pulling her scarf over her lips. “You make him so happy.”

“Please don’t do this, Ken. Kenny, please.” Kyle leaned over him, feeling himself shake. He might be sick. “Please. You fucking dick don’t you dare…Ken, Ken, please.”

“He liked you for a while, you know.” Karen’s voice was soft. “Since we were little.”

“Kenny. Y-you better come back. Soon.” Kyle was shaking so hard his fingers tapped over his cheeks. “Kenny, can you hear me? Don’t you dare…leave me here…you better come back. Right now.”

“He loves you so much, Kyle.”

“Kenny!”

“Don’t cry, Kyle. Everything is fine.”

“Don’t you fucking leave me, Kenneth McCormick! FUCK!”


	4. Trauma

Kyle’s knee bounced as he listened to the teacher drone on. European history was fine, usually, except for when you kept having PTSD flashbacks to seeing your boyfriend dead and his blood all over your hands.

He closed his eyes, inhaling through his nose. He’d freaked out, and no one knew what was going on. They didn’t even respond appropriately to his concern, forgetting about it or giving him a pat on the head.

Even he was having trouble remembering it. The details kept getting hazy, so he ended up writing them down. He’d get this foggy sense that all is well, then jerk awake from the sense with the recollection of frozen eyes.

He couldn’t sit still. What if he didn’t come back? How long did it take? Kyle drew geometric shapes on the side of his notebook rather than take as many notes as normal.

He needed Kenny back. His body had just…disappeared, right? Kyle pressed another line into the paper. He’d been so cold.

When the bell chimed, Kyle shoved his textbook into his bookbag without taking down the homework assignment. He’d get it from online later. He needed to take a walk or something.

Someone poked his shoulder, and his heart jumped. Kyle whirled, spotting a different blond than what he was hoping for. Blue eyes stared at him, with brown bleeding into one of them and giving the student a truly bizarre look.

With a slight shrug, (or perhaps a residual twitch of discomfort,) Tweek shoved Kyle’s notebook towards him.

“Oh. Thanks.” Kyle stuffed it into his bookbag with trembling fingers. Tweek’s large eyes followed the movement closely, flitting back to his face.

“You don’t look sogood,” Tweek shoved his hands in his too-large jacket. “You look like you’re gonna pass out.”

“Yeah, I’m…definitely not feeling great,” Kyle ran a hand through his hair. Tweek seemed to be mildly trailing behind him, for whatever reason.

How long did it take for Kenny to return? Kyle’s fingers shook as he attempted to unlock his locker, missing his combination.

Another sharp poke. Kyle turned, scowling. Tweek met him with a frown.

“Craig and I are leaving,” Tweek said, fingers shifting to grip his backpack strap. “Do you want a ride home?”

“In the middle of the day?” Kyle asked, eyebrow raised.

Tweek didn’t even twitch an eyelash. “He has an orthodontist appointment.” When Kyle still didn’t seem to get it, he shrugged. “I’m his ride.”

Kyle swore Craig had passed his driving test along with the rest of them, in fact he was fairly certain _he_ drove _Tweek_ most of the time, but the giant and Tweek were inseparable and that was just a law of the universe one didn't question often. 

Kyle lowered his eyes as he actually considered the offer. He didn’t want to drive this morning. His father had gotten the car fixed, but Kyle hadn’t dared to even touch it. It sent him into a panic.

He looked up and nearly jumped backwards into his locker. Tweek’s Neanderthal boyfriend had appeared out of the abyss. Said Neanderthal glanced at Tweek, who raised his eyebrows. Like an alien form of communication. 

“I’m fine. I think I might go home, but I’ll walk home, Tweek.” Kyle said, turning back towards his locker. He shook off the strangely hopeful feeling. He wasn’t even sure why the kid had offered. They’d hung out some as kids, but not a lot. Their groups didn’t really intersect.

His shaking fingers managed to open the lock but drop the damn thing on the floor. Kyle sighed at the clatter, skittery fingers reaching in for his cell phone before closing the door and turning. 

Craig was holding out his lock, Tweek staring with mismatched eyes like he was trying to bore lasers into Kyle’s skull. Honestly, all he needed was a scare chord and these two would freak out a whole theater. 

Slightly afraid, Kyle slowly took the lock.

“Look, just get in the car.” Craig said, grey eyes unwavering. “You’re going to take two steps outside and pass out.” 

Tweek made a squeaky sort of laugh, accompanied by a yellowed smile, but Kyle’s mind kept flashing back to concrete and blood. He felt dizzy.

“Fine.” Kyle’s shoulders slumped. The color red was imprinted as spots on his vision. “Thanks.”

Tweek made a pleased noise and started down the hallway, both taller boys following behind. Kyle glanced at the letters on Tweek’s back. TUCKER. His lips twitched. Of course. Whether it was Craig’s or Craig just gave Tweek his varsity jacket was irrelevant. Craig looked scary as shit but he was probably the nerdiest, softhearted person Kyle had grown up with.

He wondered what Kenny would have said if Kyle mentioned that in front of him.

Tweek’s car was nice, silver and compact and surprisingly tidy. Kyle always imagined Tweek to be cluttered, but it looked way better than his. He snapped his seatbelt into place and laid back, jaw still clenched.

“Thanks,” He said again, just to try and make this less awkward.

“Sure.” Tweek didn’t seem bothered, merely turned up the heat and pulled out of the parking lot. With everyone still in school, the roads were clear for them to just cruise out and onto the main road.

Kyle looked out the window, hands folded to keep from shaking. This really wasn’t good. He was going to have a mental breakdown. He took a breath. 

There was nothing he could do. He hated being helpless. He wanted to do something, know something, he'd never felt this useless or weak in his life. He hated it. He hated it so much and he hated that Kenny was paying for it. 

“You look like shit, dude.” Craig commented eventually, watching him from the rearview mirror.

“Yeah. Well.” Kyle reined in his temper. “It’s been a rough month.”

Craig’s gaze became less steely at that, and he inclined his head without blinking.

“Clyde said you stopped going to practice.”

Oh. So that was it. Kyle sighed so heavily it almost hurt, adding an eye roll for emphasis. He wouldn't say that he and Clyde were friends, but the softhearted basketball player was a friend of Stan's and nice enough that he wouldn't harp on him too bad. 

“Tell Clyde he can stop gossiping,” He said flatly. “It’s fucking high school. Who’s actually having an easy time right now?”

Tweek was drumming the fingers of his free hand on the console, and his pace picked up. They were pulling in front of Kyle’s house.

“You going to be alright?” Craig asked as Kyle unbuckled. He added a second eye roll, in case he hadn’t seen the first.

“I’ll be fine,” He grabbed his bag, “Thanks again, guys.”

“You’re welcome.” Tweek barely stuttered on the sentence, a small twitch of his right shoulder the only giveaway.

Kyle avoided looking at his driveway, but turned and waved to the duo before unlocking his house. He was able to creep up into his room, curling up under the covers in still his school clothes.

He hated this.

If Kenny had died for good, he kept telling himself, everyone would talk about it. He got the vague sense of something happening like that before, but it vanished before he could reach it. So he kept telling himself. If he died, they would know. As it was, Kyle was sure he finally understood exactly what Kenny had felt for years.

No one mourned him.

No one cared that Kenny had died, his own baby sister had glanced over his corpse and smiled. No one mentioned Kenny, like he didn’t exist. Like he didn’t matter. And it made Kyle want to go on a screaming rampage until people finally fucking listened. Kenny didn’t deserve this. And Kyle wasn’t sure if he might be paying for his years of obliviousness by having to live alone with this now.

Why did no one love Kenny?

Kyle hugged his blankets, shivering. He was either about to get very angry or very upset and start punting people off bridges or start bawling like a child. One or the other. Maybe both, make it a true spectacle.

_Blip!_

**Kenny M: hey**

Kyle launched out of bed, falling flat on his face as the blankets tangled around his legs. He struggled up, flying down the stairs and skipping the last four before running outdoors without a coat.

Kenny was already walking down the sidewalk, and stopped short as Kyle skidded to a halt right in front of him.

The two boys stared at each other, winter sun not warming in the least, breath visible in the air.

It was a weird feeling. Something enormous and pressing on Kyle, heavy against his shoulder blades. This kid, scrawny and tired-looking, years of abuse of who knows how many degrees, bony and unhappy and unremarkable at the base. Why him?

“Kyle?”

He was never going to get tired of looking at him. Fight him, Kyle thought he was good-looking. Unremarkable, sure, nothing about him stood out. Even his eyes probably weren’t as pretty as Kyle thought. But he was breathing, shoulders rising and chest expanding, color in his face and life in his eyes. He was alive. And he was the best thing Kyle had ever seen.

“Hey,” He managed, reaching. Kenny walked right into his arms, wrapping his own around Kyle’s shoulders.

Kyle just held him, vision blurring. Felt him breathe, reveled in every shift of his feet or shaky sigh. It meant he was alive.

He suddenly felt something, a jerk, like someone had tied a string to where his hairline stopped on the back of his neck and pulled.

Explosion. Hearing a rapid, labored gasping that went on too long.

“I remember,” Kyle murmured. Kenny’s body went rigid.

“Yeah?”

“Yes.”

Kenny’s head lowered all the way to his shoulders, making him slouch terribly against the redhead.

“Remember…what, exactly?”

“I saw you fucking die, what do you think I meant?” Kyle snapped, shoving him away. Tears finally dripped down his face, turning Kenny’s expression into something stricken.

“Holy fucking- yeah, I thought that- you’re-” Kenny seemed to flail a little before reaching to cup Kyle’s cheeks. “Hey. Hey, it’s okay.”

Kyle grabbed his wrists, not sure whether he was going to wrench his hands off his face or not. He just held them, pulse thrumming beautifully under his fingers.

“I’m okay, Ky. I told you, I come back.” Kenny offered a smile that didn’t reach his frightened eyes. “It’s okay.”

“I watched you fucking die.” Kyle’s voice shook. Kenny’s shoulders fell.

“Yeah.”

“No one else noticed.”

“…Yeah.” Kenny let go of his face, fingers trailing down his neck to rest on his shoulders. “That happens.”

Labored breaths, gasps that started with a sharp enough consonant that it might have been his name. Like he wanted comfort. It still hurt, after all. He’d wanted Kyle and he’d just sat there, with the same stupid look everyone else had, waiting until he’d finally passed away. Too long. Way too long. He and Karen had sat and Kyle had listened to the dying gasps. Broken up, like he was crying. Crying and pleading for Kyle to just come over, help it not hurt or make it easier to pass or something, and Kyle had sat by and waited for him to die.

A sob broke from somewhere deep in Kyle’s chest, and that was it.

He broke entirely, tears streaming down his face and dripping off his chin. He sobbed, burying his face in Kenny’s sweatshirt and crying harder than he ever remembered.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Kyle was a broken record, bawling his eyes out like a baby.

Kenny crushed him in a hug, holding him like he was afraid he’d fall. To be honest, Kyle was probably fairly close to needing help just to stand. His legs felt weak.

“Don’t, you don’t need to say things like that,” Kenny’s voice was lower than normal, unsettled.

“It’s been fucking years for you, McCormick, let me fucking apologize!”

“Dude-” Kenny sounded pained, barely releasing his hold, just enough to make Kyle look up from where he was getting his tears soaked into Kenny’s sweatshirt. Kenny didn’t seem to know what to say.

“I’m sorry I didn’t know before. I’m sorry I wasn’t there now. I’m sorry you have to deal with this at all, Ken, it’s not fucking fair!”

The blond just stared as Kyle got control of himself, taking breaths and moving his hands from around Kyle to wipe his eyes. He kept staring.

“I love you,” Kenny told him, eyes helpless.

That didn’t exactly help Kyle’s crying problem, but he laughed through the tears.

“I think it’s pretty fucking obvious I love you too.”

People made it sound like that was so hard to say. So hard to mean. It wasn’t. Love meant so many things, it was possible to love in so many ways. Kyle had thought the same, that love was hard to reach or just an end goal but that wasn’t true.

“I’ve always loved you,” Kyle swiped angrily at his eyes and then held eye contact, face still wet. “Always. And no, I’m not talking about romantic love, but I do mean I loved you even when we were kids. I cared about you then and I’d be just as upset, do you understand?” His voice cracked, and he coughed to try and fix it. “I’ve always loved you, Kenny. It’s fucking impossible not to love you.”

Kenny’s face was white, eyes wide and looking watery themselves.

“You’re the embodiment of every fucking thing I admire. And I want you to know that, in case… you should know this anyway, it doesn’t matter.” Kyle took a breath. “Just…” He’d gone off on a tangent again. Kyle licked his lips. “Look…” He didn’t know where he was going now that he was thinking about it.

Kenny was watching him, eyes bright. He leaned in, pressing his forehead against Kyle’s. His eyes flit between Kyle’s, he was biting his lip, like he was trying to think of what to say but couldn’t.

He pulled Kyle in for a kiss, sweet and brief, before pressing a kiss right between his eyebrows and then pulling him back in to hide in his shoulder.

The Jewish boy kept breathing him in. Reassuring himself. Kenny felt warm, wrapped around him, but he had to be cold out here. The thought let Kyle pull himself together a little better.

“Come on inside,” Kyle asked, cheek pressed against his shoulder. “Ike is home, we can still talk.”

“Sure.” Kenny’s voice was soft. Probably a bad sign that he wasn’t trying to joke or protest talking. He reached for Kyle’s hand, fingers twining strongly with his. It was comforting, but Kyle’s fingers tightened painfully as they passed the driveway.

Crying. Begging.

Kenny let go of his hand to wrap the same arm around his waist.

“I’m fine, Ky.” He breathed into his ear, a soft murmur. “I’m actually great.” 

Kyle said nothing, but wrapped his arm around Kenny as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had a lot of kind comments recently, I'm glad you're all enjoying the story and I'm happy to have you guys! I hope your New Year is marvelous!


	5. Warmth

Kenny sat crossed-legged on the floor like a six-year-old, eyes following Kyle as the redhead left the door to his bedroom open. He ignored the grin on the blond’s face. Personally, he had enough of sneaking Kenny around. Let his family know he had him over, Kyle didn’t care.

“You look tired,” Kenny noted, wild blue eyes still locked on him.

Kyle bit back a harsher reply. “That’s been said,” He gritted, rubbing his sore eyes. “Wonder why.”

Kenny frowned, gaze flitting away. He was so quiet. He and Kyle just stayed silent, Kyle leaning against the wall and Kenny sitting on the floor.

Kyle didn’t know what to say. What could he? All he could do was just watch Kenny be alive, breathing and thinking and beautifully alive.

“Karen wanted me to give you something,” Kenny spoke then, patting the floor next to him. “C’mere, Kyle.”

Kyle sat next to him as demanded, feeling tendrils of memory curl around his brain. Faint laughter and screeching of elementary classes, sitting next to each other during early childhood programs. God they’d been friends a long time.

Kenny tossed what Kyle expected at him, a knitted hat in dark green, unadorned except for a strip of dark orange and green braided around the bottom.

Kyle smiled finally, shoulders relaxing, and pulled it over his head. It wasn’t as comforting as his old hat, of course, but part of him hoarding it had only been sentimentality anyhow. A loose, warm hat knitted by his boyfriend’s little sister would do just fine.

“Tell her thank you,” Kyle said gently, touching the soft stitching at the hem. “It’s perfect.”

Kenny was watching him with a sweet smile, eyes faraway.

“I have something for you, actually.” Kyle stood, fingers still brushing the hat as he opened his closet. Standing on one of his armored suitcases, he reached a bag sitting on the top shelf.

He hopped back down, noticing the smirk on Kenny’s face.

“Any comment about me and a closet will result in your immediate removal from the premises,” Kyle said primly, throwing the bag at him.

“Dunno what you’re talking about,” Kenny said cheerfully as he pulled out the heavy fabric and paused, speechless.

Kyle shifted on his feet, standing a bit straighter. Kenny just looked over the coat, tracing along the fabric.

“You need a coat in Colorado, you know.” Kyle finally said when Kenny didn’t speak. “There’s gloves, too, in the pocket.”

The coat was very tasteful, in Kyle’s opinion. A burnt orange, because Kyle was mushy like that, weatherproof and insulated. Kenny would be perfectly warm.

“Ky.” Kenny’s voice was soft as he looked up at the redhead. “You don’t need to get me anything, you know.”

“I do know,” Kyle said staunchly. “But I wanted to, so you’re going to have to deal with it.”

“I can afford my own coat, Kyle,” Kenny said wryly, though he kept looking bad at it. “I make money.”

“And you deal with everything you earn responsibly, except for when it comes to yourself.” Kyle was ready to go toe-to-toe if Kenny wanted. “I can afford it too.”

“I’m not your responsibility,” Kenny looked up again, blue eyes harsher. “You don’t need to-”

“Kenneth McCormick, I’m going to _strangle_ you.”

“Kinky again, darlin.”

“Don’t. Even. Try.” Kyle punctuated each word by a step, until he was towering over Kenny for once. “Put on the damn coat.”

“Kyle-”

“Put the fucking coat on, Kenny.”

Kenny scowled up at him, cheeks pink, and didn’t move. Kyle kneeled in front of him.

“Kenny.” Kyle’s green eyes glittered. “Are you seriously telling me you’re not going to let me do cute shit for you just because you’re my boyfriend?”

Ha, got him. Kenny’s firm expression wavered. Kyle tried not to smirk and failed.

“You’re not playing fair,” Kenny protested, pink cheeks darkening.

“Maybe I want to spoil you,” Kyle reveled in the look he was getting, using it for leverage. He’d never seen Kenny look almost shy before. “You’re saying you wouldn’t like that?”

Kenny looked at a loss, blushing and looking between Kyle’s eyes. He might have stumbled into something he’d need to file away for later. He didn’t think he’d seen Kenny play so coy.

“I’ll take the coat,” Kenny finally said, face red as he pulled it on. Kyle narrowed his eyes in smug victory. “Wow, this is warm.”

“Good. Typically that’s what I look for in a coat.” Kyle started smiling as Kenny snorted at his lame joke. “Looks good, dude.” Thank God he actually managed to guess the right size correctly. Particularly since he was in emotional turmoil the entire shopping trip. The smile faded slightly off his face.

“ _You_ look good, babe.” Kenny teased even as he stood to button up the front. He tugged at the sleeves, admiring what he could see. “I like this, Kyle.”

Clearly he still felt awkward about it. Kyle made up his mind then, he’d get Kenny over being weird about gifts. Not as expensive as the coat, but hey. Get him desensitized to getting nice things just because. If anyone deserved it, it was the kid who bought pretty much everything his little sister owned. Kenny shouldn’t feel weird about getting presents.

“Good.” Kyle leaned back against the bedframe, finally feeling himself start to relax as he watched Kenny parade over to his mirror to check himself out.

He admired the reflection, either because he really enjoyed the coat or for Kyle’s benefit he wasn’t sure, then turned around with a grin. Kenny sent a smirk towards the open door before traipsing over to Kyle and moving to straddle his lap.

“What a sweet boyfriend,” Kenny purred, moving to wrap his arms around Kyle’s neck. “Sweet and sexy. I don’t know how I swung that.”

Kenny was trying to get Kyle flustered, and Kyle knew it, but he was getting flustered anyhow. He set his jaw.

“Mine’s alright too, only he keeps describing me like something you’d find in a barbeque joint.” At Kenny puzzled look, Kyle further explained. “Legs. Thighs. Sweet and Sexy, newest barbeque sauce brand of the Midwest.”

Kenny laughed, a full, breathless sort of giggling that made Kyle grin. “If you’re Hot and Sassy, what does that make me?”

“Sweet and Zesty?” Kyle suggested, and Kenny fell sideways off his lap to laugh helplessly. Kyle followed suit, the tension of the air dissipated entirely.

Kyle smiled as he watched Kenny recover from his giggling fit, wrapped up in his coat and looking alive and happy. Yes, this suited Kenny much better. The redhead tilted his head, watching with a soft smile.

“What the hell did you do to him?”

Both boys looked up to see a bewildered Ike staring into the doorway.

“Ike, do you like barbeque sauce?” Kenny asked, and Kyle aimed a kick at him.

“Kenny’s over for a while, so unfortunately you’ll just have to get used to him. Is your schoolwork done?”

Ike rolled his eyes, very reminiscent of his older brother. “Yes, Ma.”

“What, then, do you want me to make you lunch or something?” Kyle deadpanned back, eyebrow arched.

Kenny rolled over on his stomach to smile up at Kyle mischievously. “Can you?”

Ike gestured towards Kenny with a shrug.

For fucks sake.

“Oh my God.” Kyle stood, moving out of range as Kenny reached to playfully untie his sneakers. “Fine. Both of you, downstairs.”

Ike smirked and bounded down the steps, Kenny stood to stretch and Kyle grabbed a handful of his sleeve.

“We’re not done talking,” Kyle told him, eyes fierce.

Kenny paused, arms still in midair, something flickering over his face before he offered a cherubic smile. “I’m awfully hungry though, Ky.”

Kyle resisted the urge to smack him upside his stupid head. He hated, _hated_ the way Kenny deflected serious things. “I mean in general. We aren’t done.”

“Okay, Kyle.” Kenny made a soothing gesture with his hands. “I know. It’s-” he lifted a shoulder, trying to keep smiling. “There’s not a whole lot more I can say. I’m okay.” He tilted his head like a sad cocker spaniel. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Kyle said wearily. He did, and that was part of the problem. He kept seeing the scene over and over every time he closed his eyes.

Kenny reached for his hand, gently pressing against Kyle’s fingers.

“I’m okay,” He said seriously, mosaic eyes unwavering as they were under a hood. “And so are you.”

“You weren’t, though,” Kyle explained with (what he thought) was more patience than he’d ever displayed in his life. “That’s my fucking problem, Kenny.”

Kenny looked uncomfortable, and almost took his hand back. Kyle didn’t let him.

“It was my car, Kenny.”

“Oh! Kyle,” Kenny’s face softened then, into something heartbreakingly affectionate, and he squeezed his hand. “No. This wasn’t your fault, baby. It’s just like that. It’s-” His free hand waved around. “The Universe hates me, Ky. It’ll do anything to boot me off, meteors, wild beasts, you name it. This wasn’t your fault, you had nothing to do with it.” 

He watched Kyle swallow past the bile in his throat and he leaned to press a kiss between his eyebrows. “I would’ve been struck by lightning or something on the way home. It didn’t matter, Ky. Not one bit.”

That, unsurprisingly, didn’t make Kyle feel much better. He leaned against Kenny, feeling the new fabric under his cheek.

“I will figure this out, eventually.” He promised, resolve settling over his shoulders.

“Aw, Ky.” Kenny’s voice held something heavy in it, but it was gone before Kyle could match it to an appropriate word. “Don’t worry about it. Just…you knowing is good enough, okay?” 

Kenny’s voice turned soft, low. “I’ll be okay. I’ve got you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year!


	6. Basketball

Kyle still wasn't sleeping well. He couldn't fall asleep, couldn't stay asleep. Some nights he texted Kenny, most he didn't bother. His own mind was driving him insane, and it didn't even really have a reason to at the moment. 

Things were going okay. Kyle didn’t get much opportunity to hang with Kenny the next couple days, but every time he passed the blond in the hall he got a sweet smile or a wink that seemed strangely dirty for such a quick gesture. Kenny seemed to be in a good mood. That was enough to placate Kyle for a little bit. He focused on planning on how to tell his parents who he was dating, he still wanted Kenny to come over whenever he wanted and he was pretty sure Ike already knew anyway.

Since Kenny worked all day and night after school, Kyle had reached out to Stan. He really hadn’t been paying much attention to his friend, which given how supportive and kind he was during the loop, made him kinda feel like a shitty person.

Kyle shut his locker and paused. Clyde stood next to the door, ruffled brown hair falling all over his eyes and a pout on his face.

Jesus Christ, people liked to scare the shit out of him by his locker.

“…Yes?” Kyle drew out, not breaking eye contact.

Clyde held up a basketball wordlessly, with the smile of an innocent cherub.

Kyle immediately was suspicious.

“Sorry dude, I promised Stan I’d hang out today,” He turned around to see Stan less than three feet away from him, and immediately jumped backwards until his spine slammed into his locker.

“I’m cool with basketball. It’s been a while,” Stan said casually, and Kyle was extraordinarily suspicious.

“Yeah, I’m not wearing clothes for that,” Kyle looked between them both, green eyes distrustful.

“You have a uniform still in the lockers downstairs, right?” Stan grabbed Kyle’s arm. “Let’s go play!”

“What the fuck is with you, Stan- and you, too!” He told Clyde as the other hovered near his free elbow. He at least had the decency to look sheepish. Stan was just looking determined, and Kyle sighed, letting the two boys steer him downstairs.

In truth, it was nice to be on the court again. Kyle found himself relaxing, in some kind of free-for-all game without much structure.

“Hey-” Clyde started, missing the ball by about an inch as Kyle aimed for a shot and failed. “Why’d you quit coming to practice?”

“Have other stuff to do,” Kyle mentioned, smacking the ball away from Stan. “I just don’t have the time.”

“Uh-huh.” Clyde caught the ball and tried to ward off both boys, succeeding enough to make it towards the hoop but not enough to try a shot. “You’re dating Kenny now, right?”

“And?” He ought to be surprised Clyde knew, but…he wasn’t. Kenny might’ve told anyone, and anyhow secrets were not easily kept around the old crew.

“Nothing,” Clyde insisted as Kyle retrieved the ball. “Just saying. You’ve looked kind of awful lately.”

Kyle paused in lining up his shot, straightening his knees as he looked Clyde in the eyes. Hold on.

“What exactly are you trying to say, Clyde?” Kyle’s eyes snapped. He glared at Stan, who held up his hands in surrender.

“I just noticed you look sick. I’ve nothing against you and Kenny, dude.”

“I didn’t say I did, either,” Clyde said with a flush. “I just…you looked really, really awful some days, Kyle. And you stopped coming to practice, you stopped working, it’s just…” He looked like he was trying to shrink into himself, which looked ridiculous for someone taller than both he and Stan. “I was just worried.”

“You told Tweek and Craig about this, too,” Kyle accused.

“Well, yeah.” Clyde looked embarrassed. “We were all friends, dude. I just wanted to see if you were okay.”

In the corner of his eye, Kyle could see Stan was biting his lip. He was expecting a blowup. And in honesty, Kyle was thinking about it. He had no business poking his nose into this, particularly when he didn’t know the whole story.

“It’s not Kenny’s fault,” Kyle struggled to keep his voice even.

“We didn’t say it was!” Stan was quick to jump in. “I was just…you’re skipping class, Kyle. You never missed class before the past couple months.” 

“Cause and correlation,” Kyle responded. “And you haven’t denied you’re not cool with Kenny.”

“Kenny’s my friend, too, Kyle.” Stan seemed to be getting irritated now, stepping fully into Kyle’s space. “Don’t play it like that. Like you’re the only one that cares about him.”

Kyle nearly reeled at the shockingly harsh words coming from his best friend. Clyde’s eyes were huge.

“I care about you both,” Stan was nearly in Kyle’s face, which was so startling Kyle couldn’t even be properly angry. “But your emotions are everywhere, you’re skipping school, stopping things you like, and even though I haven’t even mentioned I think Kenny’s to blame you keep accusing me. What the _fuck_ is your deal?”

Clyde looked between them both like he was watching a tennis match.

“My deal?!” Kyle went right into it, nearly toe-to-toe with the brunet. “My deal is maybe I’m going through shit right now, and Kenny’s been helping. More so than you!”

“What shit?” Stan demanded.

Kyle threw his hands up in the air. “I don’t know!” He shoved aside the whole time loop, boyfriend dying feet from him ordeal to focus on something else that kept him up. “Like- like future stuff. School stuff. Like maybe I don’t want to go Ivy league.”

Stan’s soft brown eyes widened. “What?” He drew back. “But you’ve always wanted to go Ivy league.”

“And maybe now I don’t.” Kyle sighed. “I don’t want to travel thousands of miles away. I don’t want to spend three to six years of my life away from my family…you and Kenny included.”

Clyde had his hands over his cheeks.

“What about law school?” Stan gently prodded.

“I still want to go,” Kyle shuffled, gym shoes squeaking on the court. “But I was thinking…University of Colorado Law.”

Stan blinked. “In Boulder?”

“Yeah.” Kyle hadn’t actually said any of this out loud yet. He ran a hand through his damp curls. “It has good passing percentages. And a lot of people find jobs after graduating. It’s not Cornell, but…” He helplessly shrugged. “I don’t want to be a small-town fish in an Ivy school, anyway. I think I’d end up punching someone.”

Stan snorted, shoulders finally relaxing and a smile growing on his face. “You could have told me this, dude. Seriously?”

“I know.” Kyle rubbed his eyes, trying to ward off the inevitable headache. “I just…I stopped being a good friend ages ago. I didn’t need to burden you with this shit.”

“Kyle,” Stan laughed, grabbing his friend to crush him in a half-hug. “Then just admit you’ve been a dick to me and we'll move on. I’m always cool with hearing whatever shit you want to burden me with.”

Clyde was definitely looking teary-eyed now, smiling ear-to-ear. “Hey,” He said, making both boys look at him. “You’re smart, Kyle. If you wanna go to Boulder, I bet they’d snap you right up, bro.”

Kyle’s chest felt warm. He lightly, lovingly, punched Clyde in the shoulder. “Thanks, man.”

“Anything else you want to throw down while we’re here?” Stan asked wryly.

“I haven’t told Kenny exactly what’s up yet,” Kyle admitted, “But my diabetes is acting up. I’m having to check my blood sugar and everything. It sucks.”

“Dude!” Clyde exclaimed. “You’re like stabbing yourself to check your blood and getting shots and shit?” Stan looked pale.

“Yeah,” Kyle felt a little bad for this, but it was true and easier to explain why he looked sick. “Haven’t needed insulin, but I haven’t felt great.”

Both boys looked extremely sympathetic, which did make Kyle feel a little guilty, but in the end it was for their benefit too. He wasn’t about to start talking about curses like a loon. No one knew. Sometimes Kyle wished _he_ didn't know, but that was selfish of him.

“You should’ve told me,” Stan lightly shook Kyle. “No secrets, dude. Let me know when bad things happen to you.”

Oh, Stan. Kyle leaned on him, smiling wryly. “I will.”

“Good.” Stan looked pleased. “Aw, Kyle, no wonder you quit basketball, too. You feeling okay to play?”

“It’s not a heavy game,” Kyle said with all the air of a courageous general. “And it’s not particularly challenging. I should be fine.”

“Oho!” Clyde slapped his hands together and rubbed them. “You hear that smacktalk, Stan?”

“Yeah, we’re going to have to kick your ass for that,” Stan said cheerfully, letting go of Kyle to back off a couple steps and pick up the discarded ball. “In fact, I think me and Clyde are going to have to team up against you.”

Clyde nodded sagely as Kyle snorted.

“I don’t see how that makes you think I’ll lose, but sure.” He grinned as the other two boys got into position. “Losers buy lunch.”

He got his ass handed to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may or may not have forgotten to post this chapter. 
> 
> So you might get two today. 
> 
> Whoops.


	7. A Shot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a little more intense than normal, be warned.

After losing tremendously and buying lunch for his friends, Kyle felt much better. He might not be able to confide in his friends, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t rely on them. Even if Stan didn’t know exactly what was plaguing Kyle, that didn’t mean he couldn’t help. Even if it was just to play basketball and assure Kyle that he’d be okay.

He really had been a shitty friend. He needed to do something for Stan.

For now, he headed back to the school. It was a day Karen had journalism, and Kyle had offered to pick her up on days he didn’t work at the library. He hadn’t expected her to seem so happy about it, he swore he heard she had a good helping of friends.

Karen bounded down the stairs from the third floor with a stack of newspapers she unceremoniously plopped into Kyle’s arms.

“I need to set these out by the side entrance before we leave,” She explained cheerfully, taking a tied bundle off the stack Kyle held. “It won’t take long. How are you, Ky?”

“Great,” Kyle following along after Karen with a smile. “Stan said to tell you hi.”

“Hi, Stan!” Karen said, as chipper as if the boy was standing in front of her. She stood in front of the news stand, meticulously placing issues. “That’s nice of him. What was he up to?”

“We played basketball for a while,” Kyle mentioned as Karen stepped back to view her work. “And I think something is off.”

“Where?” Karen asked, brown hair swishing around her chin as he whirled to look at the older boy.

“One too many issues.” Kyle plucked one off the stand, earning a laugh from Karen. He smiled, tucking the issue under his arm. The girl grabbed another issue as well, reaching for Kyle’s sleeve next and yanking him towards the exit.

“I got to give one to Kenny, too.” She said cheerfully. “We have a new cartoonist I want him to see.”

“I have to fill up my car today or tomorrow anyhow,” Kyle suggested as they braced themselves against the cold wind outside. “Want to go see him at work?”

“Yeah!” Karen hopped a couple steps backwards to grin at Kyle. “Don’t tell him. Let’s just show up. He hates the gas station, he’ll be happy.”

“He does?” Kyle commented as they walked out to his car, already running via remote. “He didn’t tell me.”

“He didn’t tell me, either.” Karen said, hands in the pockets of her coat. “But I know he does. I think it’s boring for him.”

Kyle considered this on the way over. So Kenny didn’t confide anything in his sister, either. Unsurprising. Kenny had always been fiercely protective of his sister, to the point of not wanting even his friends around her, (considering the little shits they’d been, that wasn’t surprising either) and assuming all responsibility for her.

Kyle glanced at the girl in the passenger seat, reading through the edition of the newspaper she’d picked up. He understood, of course, he had a little sibling even younger than Karen. There was a sense of Responsibility that came with being a big brother, and he suspected that in a household where little responsibility was to be found it was a little heavier of a burden.

And he was now 100% sure Karen understood that.

The gas station wasn’t busy, and the duo decided to park in front of the building first and fill up afterwards. Karen hopped out of the car, pushing open the door with a cheerful jingle.

“Kenny!” Karen called, Kyle following right behind her before the door closed.

The blond had been reading on the counter, wearing a blue polo. Kyle blinked. He hadn’t seen Kenny without sleeves or baggy clothes before. He looked impossibly thin, in an almost grotesque way. Kyle’s eyes raked up and down the parts of his body he could see as Kenny glanced up and grinned at his visitors, face lighting up.

“Karen and Kyle!” Kenny leaned over the counter to give his baby sister a hug. “Thank God, I was about to die of boredom.”

Kyle shot him a look from over Karen’s head, but Kenny merely smiled. He took the newspaper, flipping interestedly through it. Kyle continued to watch. He was so thin. Way too tall to be this skinny.

“Go pick something out, Miss Editor,” Kenny told his sister. “And grab me a soda, I’m feeling lazy.”

Karen eagerly scampered towards the candy section of the station, leaving Kyle to watch Kenny with soft eyes.

“Hey, Hot Stuff,” Kenny greeted, a lazy smile on his lips.

Honestly. Kyle stepped in, leaning over the counter to meet an eager Kenny for a quick, chaste kiss.

“Kenny.” Kyle’s voice was warm. His gaze kept flitting over the blond. Kyle wasn’t fat, but he did woefully consider himself chubby. He had thicker thighs, his stomach was visible from profile. Kenny looked like he wouldn’t cast a fucking shadow.

“My eyes are up here, Ky.” Kenny was waggling his eyebrows. “Quit staring at my tits.”

Kyle looked over his shoulder back at Karen, making Kenny snort.

“She can’t hear me, come back here.” The contented, lazy smile was still on Kenny’s face. He reached to take Kyle’s wrist and gently tug him towards the counter again. “Feels like I haven’t seen you in ages.”

That was a surprisingly open admission from Kenny, Kyle noted. He must’ve been bored. He raised his eyebrows, casting a glance down at the reading material and finding probably the last thing he expected Kenny to be reading.

“You’re doing your homework?!” Kyle’s voice went up in pitch, amazement and flattery coloring the words.

Kenny’s cheeks actually flushed pink, but he played it off with a laugh. “I do occasionally do my homework, Kyle.”

“You’re writing an essay. By hand.” Kyle had a hand against his heart, pride fluttering against his fingertips. “You never do your homework.”

“Well, you know,” Kenny snorted, shrugging, a smile plastered on his reddening face. “I wanna graduate eventually. Don’t want to be held back while you’re on stage without me. You all. You and Stan and everyone.”

Holy shit he was getting flustered. He wanted to graduate with Kyle, Kenny wanted to graduate with him so he was stepping up his game. Kyle wasn’t even sure why it moved him so much, but his eyes burned.

“Ken…” Kyle more or less smushed his cheeks, leaning in to kiss him solidly, deep.

Kenny looked surprised but pleased when Kyle pulled back, face darker red than Kyle had even seen and a satisfied look on his face.

“You turned on by nerds, babe?” Kenny said jokingly, still flushed. “Damn. I better get me some glasses.”

Whatever Kyle’s retort was, it was interrupted by the bell. Both boys looked over to see Tweek Tweak walk in, taking off his gloves and staring at the two.

Realizing he was still holding Kenny’s face, Kyle let go and stepped back away from the counter.

“Hiya, Tweekster,” Kenny greeted, and the blond grunted a harried greeting before scurrying towards back towards the fridges. Kenny watched, bemused.

“Payback?” He mouthed at Kyle with a grin, but Kyle shook his head. They were not making out in a gas station, while Tweek and Kenny’s little sister were present.

Speaking of which, the girl returned with a cola and a bag of caramels, a grin spreading ear to ear.

“Cool, cool.” Kenny picked up the bag to scan it. “You fillin’ up, Ky?”

“Yeah. I’ll do it at the pump though.”

“Just takes me a second.” Kenny waggled his fingers as he extended them to Kyle. “Gimme the dough, Broflovski.”

Kyle snorted and reached in his pocket for his wallet as the bell chimed again. With his back to it, all he could see was the sunshine on Kenny’s face dull, and suddenly Kenny’s face became emotionless.

“Kyle.” His voice was impassive. Low. Kyle blinked as Mysterion seemed to stare right over his left shoulder. “Take Karen into the back and don’t turn around.”

“He can stay,” A drawling, growling voice spoke, sending chills up Kyle’s spine. Beside him, Karen stiffened and grabbed his arm. “Wallet on the counter, Carrot Top. Slowly.”

Kyle kept his eyes on Kenny, who was staring at the man like a predator. Cold, unfeeling. Promising bad things if a wrong move was made. He placed his wallet gently on the counter as asked, wrapping an arm around Karen and gently steering her away.

“Don’t move,” The voice told him, and Kyle stopped. His heart was racing and he was all too aware that two of his favorite people were in the room with this guy.

“Open the register,” Was the next demand. Kyle kept searching for a reflective surface that would let him see the perpetrator, but none were around.

“Let them go into the back,” Kenny’s voice was low, dangerous. “And I’ll let you have whatever you want.”

“How about you open the fuckin’ register, smartmouth?” The gun cocked. Kyle heard Kenny inhale sharply. “Good boy. Everything, be quick. I can see your hands, don’t be calling for help or nothin’.”

Who was the gun pointed towards? Kyle could feel Karen shaking. He tightened his arm around her, wanting to push her in front of him. Drag her into the back. But who was the gun pointed towards?

Suddenly, a siren blipped in the front of the station, and Kyle heard a noise. Not particularly loud, just startling, a quick sound and suddenly his shoulders jerked forwards.

Another noise, loud and inhuman. Indescribable, rage and horror and suddenly a crashing noise as an entire shelf was pushed over.

Free to look, Kyle was shocked to find that he felt no pain. Nothing. He could hear scuffling, and Kenny was no longer behind the counter. He didn’t even have time to be afraid.

“Kyle?”

His heart froze.

Karen was staring at him, face white. Kyle couldn’t see any marks on her, and so tried to pull her towards the back room.

“Kyle, ow!” Tears filled Karen’s eyes and her hand went to her right shoulder. The arms around her moved up, and found a hole in the back of her coat. “K-Kyle?”

Kyle froze. This couldn’t be happening. He stared, helpless, and then someone else grabbed his forearm.

“Backbackback gether inthe back!” Tweek pulled them both with shocking strength, ignoring Karen’s cries of pain. He was staring at something behind Kyle with huge eyes. “He’s gotta gun, stillgotta gun, go!”

The three crashed into the back room, where Kyle at least had the thought to lock the door, and Karen slid down his grip.

“Karen!” Kyle called, the girl looking faraway with huge eyes.

“Shock,” Tweek was shaking, but kneeled down beside her. “Getme, getme… the- the-” He was having problems communicating, shaking all the harder. “Gah! Bag. Plastic.”

Kyle grabbed one off the counter, kneeling next to Karen, who was shaking.

“Talk!” Tweek demanded of Kyle, hands trembling so bad he couldn’t unzip her coat.

Trusting Tweek, Kyle unzipped it for him, inhaling when he saw the blood on her back shoulder. He began rattling off, trying to get Karen to look at him.

“It’s okay, Karen,” He babbled. “We got you. Take a deep breath. Look at me, like this- breathe. You’re going to be fine, it’s fine, won’t everyone at school think you’re badass now…”

Another shot rang out, and Karen gasped, Tweek pressing the bag against the literal hole in her shoulder and pushing her forwards. Kyle wasn’t sure what that was for. He made eye contact with Tweek while he crooned nonsense, and the boy looked just as scared as he felt. Kyle felt a rush of affection for the twitchy boy, even if he wasn’t sure what he was doing, either.

A third shot, and then the shouts of police officers. Two more shots. Silence.

“Back here!” Tweek squeaked, and the next couple minutes were a blur.

Being interrogated for a couple seconds before they realized he was also a victim. Karen being transported. Tweek being the one to give a report, standing in the main room as Kyle stared blankly out the window.

Karen had been shot. The thief had been shot.

Kenny?

The sharp grip on his mind returned, and Kyle was mostly ignored while he approached the front counter.

Nothing was there, except a chair knocked sideways and a couple drops of Karen’s blood on the floor. Kyle looked away. At the front entrance, police were taking away the perp’s body.

Kyle’s gaze shifted over to where stands and shelves were knocked over. Something tugged, like a fishing line against his clavicle.

Slowly, with unsteady steps, he approached the back wall. No bloodstains or anything, he almost missed Kenny entirely.

“FUCK!” Burst out of Kyle’s lips when he saw the boy, arm bent awkwardly and holes visible in his neck.

He fell down beside him, reaching. He jumped when Kenny wheezed, a gurgling, airy kind of noise that made him want to throw up.

“Kenny?!” Kyle’s hands hovered awkwardly over him. “Kenny, God, please don’t…”

Not again.

Kenny’s eyes focused blearily on him, intent. His hand shifted, another gargling sound reaching his ears. Another pull, then understanding.

“Karen…they have her.” Kyle stuttered. Kenny’s eyes flickered. “She’s hurt, but she was talking.” The expression eased.

Kenny was trying to move, and blood suddenly leaked from the bullet holes. Stomach turning, Kyle looked away.

“I need h-” A hand clamped on his wrist. Kyle looked down, finding it difficult to focus for some reason. He blinked, Kenny coming back into focus.

Kenny was trying to shake his head.

“W-what?” Another tug. Kyle’s green eyes were huge, filling with water. “No. Kenny, no. You cannot ask me to-”

Let him go. Kenny wanted Kyle to let him die, and return. Good as new, he always said. He wanted Kyle to let him bleed out.

“Kenny.” Kyle’s voice was tortured, wavering. “You fucking asshole.”

What had he done? Kyle counted two shots in Kenny. He’d attacked the man after he shot Karen. And now he wanted Kyle to just…stand aside?

Kenny was trying to talk, choking. He coughed, blood spattering Kyle’s coat and face. Tears poured down Kyle’s face.

This wasn't a choice, was it? Kyle could try and get someone to notice Kenny, maybe let him get better slowly or die even slower. Or, as Kenny wanted, let him go. He was going to be sick. This wasn't something he should ever have to encounter, never, ever. He listened to Kenny struggle to breathe, watched him spray blood from the holes in his neck in mist, and set his jaw. 

He could honestly pass out. Just seeing Kenny hurt was so bad. He wanted to run, wanted to scream, but his hand gripped Kenny’s instead.

“You better come back soon,” Kyle’s voice cracked. “I don’t sleep when you’re gone.”

Kenny’s eyes displayed more love than Kyle had ever seen. He swallowed past the lump in his throat.

“I’ll watch out for Karen,” Kyle’s voice cracked, tears mixing with Kenny’s blood and dripping off his cheeks. The blond was gasping for air now, desperately watching Kyle. “Until you’re back. I’ll take care of her.”

Another choke, terror filled Kenny’s eyes. It still hurt to die. He sandwiched Kenny’s hand between his own and leaned over him.

“I’ll be waiting,” He told Kenny, squeezing. “Don’t you take too long. Not like the first time. Promise me.” A pathetic press of fingers against his palm told him Kenny was trying to. “I love you, Kenny. I’ll be here for you. I’ll remember.”

There was a moment, a split second, where Kyle felt nothing. Then, a burst like color behind his eyeballs, filling his chest and mouth and touching his lips with color, warmth, love, love, _love_ , I love you too, I love you, I love you.

Then there was nothing.

Literally nothing.

Kyle blinked, finding he still had blood on his face but Kenny was no longer there. He looked down at his hands. Nothing. He looked up, confusion and hurt and tears still drying on his cheeks.

Standing by the window, Tweek was staring with a white face.


	8. A Light Conversation

Kyle was in a daze. He watched Kenny die. It was surreal and weird and he couldn’t focus on anything. He looked at Tweek, who was staring back at him with none of the blank looks he usually got.

“Tweek?” He asked, slowly standing. His legs were shaking, he used an upturned shelf to prop himself. A survey of his hands showed that yes, the blood was gone. Like it never happened.

“What was that?” Tweek asked. His voice was high, higher than normal, and he looked every bit as twitchy as he was when he was a kid. “What did he turn into?”

“He just disappeared,” Kyle whispered. “You saw that too?”

Tweek stared at Kyle, mismatched eyes flitting around his face.

“I’m goingtocallCraig,” He smushed the words all together, accompanied by a violent shoulder twitch. “Getaride to the hospital.”

“Can I come?” Kyle asked immediately, and Tweek nodded jerkily. He fumbled with his phone, texting instead of calling like he said he would, and it shook violently in his hands.

Kyle stared at the blond.

“You called the police, didn’t you?” Kyle marveled. Tweek glanced up, left eye developing a bad twitch. “You called the police, you got Karen into the back. Holy shit, dude.”

For the first time, a hint of a smile spread over Tweek’s nervous lips, and he made a soft squeak.

“I used to bescared,” Tweek took a breath and tried again. “Of being shot. So I’d thought about it before.”

Not quite a smile, but a look of gratitude crossed Kyle face. “Thanks, man.” He said genuinely. “I froze up. You saved the day.”

Tweek’s eyes flit to where Kenny used to be, and Kyle followed the look. They glanced at each other, in unspoken understanding.

Craig was there quickly, and the two didn’t even make it to the car before he was out and looking Tweek over.

“Itoldyou, nffh! I’m fine, Craig, stop!” Tweek bat his hands away, looking over at Kyle.

Kyle was just wondering if he should appear busy somewhere else when Craig simply reached over and hugged his boyfriend, who looked tiny next to his height. Kyle looked away, the ache of losing Kenny intensifying. It didn’t matter that Kenny would be back. He still lost him, and this was so much worse than last time.

“I didn’t tell Ruby yet,” Craig was speaking, arms still around Tweek but looking at Kyle. At his puzzled face, his grey eyes narrowed slightly. “Ruby and Karen are friends.”

Oh. That’s right. Kyle nodded.

“Probably best you don’t for now,” He said wearily. “I don’t even know how she is.”

“Come on,” Craig let go of Tweek but held his hand with a clearly tight grip. “We’ll go with you.”

Tweek seemed glad to relax into the car seat, not saying a word the whole trip over. Kyle stared out the window, realizing he still didn’t have his wallet. He wasn’t going back for it. He was never stopping at that station again. He couldn’t get the sound of Kenny trying to breathe out of his mind. Or the look of fear in his eyes. Feeling his warm blood mist onto his face, his hands. Knowing Kenny just wanted to let go, and having to let him. Kyle’s vision blurred again, and he rubbed his eyes and straightened. Tweek was staring at him from the front seat, eyes unreadable.

Neither of the trio spoke again until they were at the hospital. Karen was in surgery, but nothing major had been hit. There had been some worry about blood loss, but she was doing well. It was their hope she’d be stable in another hour.

The three sat in the waiting room. Kyle knew he should text Stan, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t right now, because Stan wouldn’t step foot in the hospital and he didn’t want to recount it.

“Kyle,” Tweek’s high voice reached his ears, and the redhead glanced up. “What -nrggh…” Tweek grit his teeth, Craig’s hand reaching for his own without looking. “What is Kenny?”

“What is Kenny?” Kyle repeated, trying to get his mind back to working levels. “You mean…about him disappearing?” He swallowed. Tweek still remembered.

“That, and whatever he was when he attacked the man,” Tweek nearly made it through the whole sentence without twitching, and had to take a moment to shake and mutter before he could continue. “I heard, he- he’s coming back? No one seemedtonotice.”

“What?” Kyle backpedaled. “What do you mean, whatever he was?”

Tweek took another breath, earning an actual concerned look from Craig, but the messy-haired blond shook his head. “It was…he wasn’tKennyanymore, nmmh-” Another violent, whole-body twitch. It looked like this was actually hurting him, and Kyle bit the inside of his cheek. “It was dark. Like shadows, blurry. He diditagain when he was talkingto you, when you tried callingforhelp.”

Kyle recalled having difficulty focusing on him, like when he stayed up for an all-nighter studying until he couldn’t see textbooks anymore, but- “I didn’t see anything.”

“I did!” Tweek squeaked angrily. “He changed. For a second, and grabbedyou- your wrist.”

“I believe you,” Kyle said immediately. He tried latching onto this information. He needed to process it. “It’s- Tweek, no one but me even knows Kenny vanishes. They all forget. You included.”

“I saw him,” Tweek defended stoutly. “I remember.”

“Yeah,” Kyle said, amazed. “You do.” No wonder he was so shaken up. He witnessed all that, too. Kyle licked his lips. “He’ll be back,” He told Tweek. “He always comes back.” He promised.

Tweek nodded jerkily. Kyle’s eyes slid to Craig, who remained mostly impassive, except for furrowed brows. He looked deep in thought, until he and Kyle met eyes.

“I believe Tweek,” Craig said, voice firm. Kyle nodded once.

All three of them remained quiet. Kyle’s head ached, his eyes ached, his heart ached. Karen was in the hospital and Kenny was gone. He had a responsibility to her, and to Kenny, however. He had to stay, at least until he knew Karen was okay. For some reason, he absolutely believed she would be.

Tweek might have connected something for him. Kenny…what, transformed? Into something different. Something that could die and be reborn. All this time, he never once considered the fact Kenny might be something…different. Even now, his mind was trying to reject that as reality. But.

“Kennywas..talking to you without words,” Tweek recalled quietly, clearly thinking along the same lines. “You understood what he was saying.”

“Yeah,” Kyle murmured. A sharp connection, then…understanding. And then at the end. Emotions, feelings…like Kenny was trying to leave him with something good before he left. Kyle’s brows furrowed. What was Kenny?

Kyle licked his cracked lips again, feeling his headache begin to get worse. At least now someone else knew. He glanced at Tweek. He knew he overheard, he wondered how much he personally witnessed. He didn’t seem as disturbed as Kyle, was that because Kenny was Kyle’s boyfriend or something else?

Tweek glanced back at him, crystal-and-brown eyes solemn.

“If I tell Stan any of this,” Kyle said slowly, “When Kenny is back. Will you guys back me up?”

Tweek nodded, brushing wild hair away from his tired eyes. Kyle exhaled, leaning back against the waiting room chair. Between the three of them, they’d get Stan in on it too and see what they could do.

The nurse came back, then, and let them know Karen was stable. Kyle was unsurprised but glad. Craig and Tweek were headed home to tell Ruby what happened, and even offered to tell Stan, but Kyle would go visit him once he was home. For now, he wanted to talk to Karen.

Kyle researched on his phone while he waited. His hands still shook badly once in a while, but he could breathe now. He definitely wasn’t sleeping tonight. Maybe never again.

Karen was awake soon, and Kyle was allowed a couple minutes. He entered the room, seeing the girl lying with an IV and a large gauze wrap around her shoulder. Kyle swallowed. How was her family going to afford a hospital visit? He pushed that aside to deal with later.

“Hey,” Kyle had his Big Brother voice out, and moved to smooth back her ratted hair. “How are you feeling?”

Karen’s lip wobbled as she smiled. “Okay.” She had tears in her eyes. “I’m sorry, Kyle.”

The older boy frowned, already shaking his head when she continued.

“I got scared, I should have run.” Self-deprecation was something that did not belong on Karen’s face. “I got us caught there. I’m the reason we were there at all.”

“No, no, Karen, no.” Kyle sat next to her, both arms resting on the bed. “I would’ve gone to see Kenny anyway.” It didn’t matter if he actually would or not. “Kenny would’ve been there. I would’ve been there. Tweek would’ve been there. I’m just sorry you got hurt.”

Karen reached across the bed with her good hand, only able to reach halfway. Kyle met her, gently squeezing her cold fingers.

“You’ll be okay,” Kyle promised. “You were very brave, Karen. We all got away okay, you’ll be just fine.”

“They said I can go home tomorrow night,” Karen said hopefully. “I don’t have to stay long.”

“Good,” Kyle said, thinking of the place the McCormick residence was. If they just had a spare bedroom, he’d suggest Karen stay with them. He didn’t like the idea of her going home without Kenny to look after her. He’d think about that.

“I’ll be here tomorrow morning, okay?” He told her, standing. “Before school, and I’ll show up right after.” Around noon, actually, he’d take the test in bio and leave. But he had something else up his sleeve too. “Don’t worry about a thing, Karen.”

He asked after a paper on the way out, glancing over the estimated charges.

$24,000 estimation.

People sucked.

Kyle pulled the hat Karen made him down around his ears, eyes lit with a fire. Oh, no. Nope. Time to bring Stan into the mix. Between them, Tweek, and Craig, they’d come up with a scheme of some sort.

Somewhere, he hoped, Kenny was wildly approving.


	9. Poor Stan pt. II

Kyle was finding that the four of them were fairly kickass in a group.

He was the leader, naturally. Tweek was to go-getter, in a way that shocked him less after the station incident. Craig was the voice of reality, using his calm manner to inject when ideas got too far-fetched or difficult. Stan was the mediator, most of the time, telling people when to cut the shit most of the time so maybe a better title was resident asshole.

Karen’s entire bill was 23,386.

Kyle wanted to half that. He and the three other boys met once at the library while he was working, already tossing around ideas. Ruby wanted to be included, sending a list with her brother with very reasonable suggestions on how they could raise some funds. Karen was a mess over it. She’d called Kyle, from Ruby’s house, in tears. She felt guilty, and it would tear Kenny up inside if he was around. Which, almost two days in, he hadn’t returned yet.

Kyle dealt with this well. So far, they’d set up an account to be donated into, and Tweek hesitantly (he seemed to look unhappy ever time the place came up) mentioned setting up donations in his parent’s coffee shop. They were still mulling around whether anything would be done at school, agreeing to meet again at Stan’s mother’s house for pizza and brainstorming.

Kyle did not deal with Kenny’s loss well. He knew, the second he looked at Kenny on the floor, that this was going to change him. His eyes burned every time he wasn’t busy, he couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep. His blood sugar levels were so low he more or less had to force himself to snack so he didn’t get sick. He was miserable.

Tweek still remembered. He’d stood in front of Kyle’s desk at work, hands shoved in the pockets of the letterman Craig specifically purchased for him, watching with dual-colored eyes.

“I don’t know when he’s coming back,” Kyle had admitted, tapping his pen against his desk. He knew he looked a mess, pale and tired, too jumpy and nervous. He supposed Tweek could feel sympathetic.

“He’ll be back soon,” Tweek had told him, without batting an eyelash. “Give himagood…a good punch from me for this when you see him.”

That at least got Kyle to smile, and he readily promised. He’d have a few things to ask, too. Tweek wanted to be there to talk to Kenny about the event after he attacked, or as he phrased it, “the metamorphosis” he witnessed. As far as Tweek could tell, Kenny had just looked “wrong”. Any time he tried to get more specific, he started twitching again. Kyle had finally dropped it, frustrated.

All he wanted was answers.

It was after school that he finally saw Kenny at all. The kid was standing out in the freezing parking lot in his new coat, leaning against Kyle’s car. He grinned when he saw Kyle, waving like he’d just been out of town a couple days, and Kyle was torn on whether to kiss him, punch him, or shove him into the backseat of his car and figure out which of the two he was going to start with.

In the end he just grabbed Kenny by the jacket, knuckles white, staring up at him like he’d never get enough of looking at him.

“I’m sorry, Kyle,” Kenny was already starting the apologies, “I’m sorry about that.” His expression as his eyes flit over Kyle’s face was not reassuring. He looked concerned. “You look awful, Ky.”

“How does this not bother you?” Kyle hissed, giving his jacket a little shake. “How does that not bother you?”

“Hon, I’m way more concerned for Karen than me,” Kenny raised his eyebrows at Kyle’s pointed _Ha!_ “You forget, I’m used to this? I’ve had worse ways I’ve gone. You were there, it made it easier. It was so much easier, Kyle, I think this might be one that bothers be the least.”

He was obviously trying to soothe Kyle, but oddly enough Kyle mostly just felt exhausted. He leaned to rest his forehead against Kenny’s chest, and the blond ran a soothing hand against his back.

“That doesn’t really make me feel better,” He said wearily. “Ken. You were really hurting.”

He felt Kenny stiffen. “Yeah.”

Kyle looked up, looking over the smooth skin covering the base of Kenny’s throat. His finger reached up to brush the area, feeling Kenny swallow. He could still see the wounds in his mind, burnt into the back of his eyelids. Spraying mist, making noises that Kyle wanted so badly to forget.

He pressed a kiss to the area, lips brushing his neck lightly in a sweet gesture. Kenny made a soft, happy noise, trailing his fingers over Kyle’s spine ticklishly. 

Kyle could recall every second of Kenny’s death. Everything he felt then, everything he felt afterwards. Kenny had to as well, and regardless of how he discarded it. It had to still bother him. If Kyle had to watch this for another ten or so years, He’d definitely still feel it burned into his soul. He knew he would.

Kenny’s other hand rested at his hip, and he pressed his thumb against the hem of Kyle’s jeans. That was enough for Kyle to be jerked out of his reverie, and he drew back to Kenny’s visible disappointment.

“Ken,” They were back to reality again, and Kyle’s sigh could never convey how much he wished they weren’t. “I’m not the only one who remembers.”

“What?” Kenny’s eyes were large. “No…Karen doesn’t…I mean,” He winced. “I saw Karen first. Before I came here.”

Kyle looked at him with a deadpan stare. “How dare you check on your injured little sister before your perfectly healthy boyfriend. Shame.” He made a face, waving a hand carelessly. “I don’t care, you fucking idiot.” Remembering then, he gave Kenny a bit harder a punch than what was called for. The blond rubbed his arm, confusion clear.

“That’s from Tweek,” Kyle relayed. “He saved our asses and you ended up getting yourself hurt anyway.”

“Tweekers?” Kenny’s eyes were impossibly large. “He actually remembers?”

“It’s a long story, and he’s going to want to talk about it with us.” Kyle tugged Kenny’s sleeve. “We’re meeting at Stan’s house. Stan doesn’t know, mind you, but I think it might be time to get him. Craig’s on board and he has no fucking clue what’s going on.”

“Holy shit.” Kenny ran his hands through his hair. “Holy fucking shit.”

Kyle watched Kenny, arms folded. There was something… he guessed he’d use the word alliance. They had only just begun, but finally he had someone else to bounce ideas off of, share in the horrors he personally had to witness. Tweek may still seem strangely unaffected, but he at least remembered.

“We can all talk to Stan,” Kyle said readily. “Everything will be okay. We’re also working on-”

“Right! Karen told me,” Kenny was immediately focused again, stepping into Kyle’s space with a determined look in his eyes. He tilted his head down to look at him and that annoyed the redhead greatly. “Kyle, darling, thanks. But I can handle this.”

“You can handle almost 24 grand on your own?” Kyle raised an eyebrow.

Kenny flushed, trying to smile. “I’m not a charity case, Kyle.”

“I didn’t say you were, you fuckwit, it’s 24 grand!” Kyle threw his arms out, as if to convey the mass amount of idiocy in the statement. “Karen is Ruby’s best friend, so her family is willing to help. I love you both, so here I am, and Stan’s the same. There’s nothing charitable about that!”

“Fundraisers?” Kenny’s face was flushed now, and not the cute kind he had when Kyle flirted with him. He looked uncomfortable, almost frightened, before his brows furrowed again. “It’s like broadcasting to the entire town that we’re poor as shit, not to mention now I have to stand in front of a panel of teenagers that’s trying to fix my problems for me, how do you think that’s going to make Karen feel?”

“Everyone-” Whoops. Kyle literally bit his tongue, but Kenny’s eyes sparked.

“Everyone already knows we’re poor,” Kenny crossed his arms also. “Right, Kyle?”

Kyle flushed now. It was a topic he and Kenny steered clear of for a reason. Kenny seemed more sensitive of this than maybe he had considered. It was awkward, and being one of the better-off families in town, Kyle knew he was probably considered by Kenny to be spoiled. Uncomfortable didn’t even begin to cover it.

“That’s not what I meant,” Kyle lifted his chin to glare right at Kenny.

“Yes, it is,” Kenny met him, blue eyes locked. “And I know that Kyle, thanks.”

“Look, I’m not trying to do anything bad or give you any pity or whatever the shit you’re thinking,” Kyle’s eyes flashed. “But you’re being weird about this. It’s just your friends trying to help you, you know you can’t handle-”

“What’s all this about ‘I can’t handle’?” Kenny snapped, actually raising his voice at Kyle. “What do you know about what I do with my money, Kyle? I have plenty saved.”

“For what and how much?” Kyle flung back.

“None of your business, actually. None of any of your business. …Businesses.”

“Okay, then I’ll answer at least half of it correctly,” Kyle tilted his head, smile almost mocking. “For Karen to go to college. I don’t know how much you’ve saved-”

“And you don’t need to!” Kenny interrupted. “You don’t need to know any of this. I don’t need South Park’s richest to pat me on the head and take care of my problems for me!”

Kyle physically withdrew at that, looking incredulous. “Excuse me?” He drew out the words, fire in his expression. “How about your two best friends and the friends of your sister, which, by the way, her friends aren’t exactly well-off either. So if you got something to say about money, say it to me.”

Kenny grit his teeth. He was using a lot of self-restraint, but Kyle was done. He was exhausted, emotionally drained, and tired of crying his eyes out every night and feeling like a helpless weakling. He wanted to fight.

“Well?” He demanded, hands on his hips. “Go on. Tell me, why does it piss you off that I’m trying to help you?”

The blond looked like he was trying to take deep breaths. “Kyle, just shut up.”

Oh, nice. Now they were at childhood insults. Kyle lifted his chin. “Fucking make me, you jackass. You’re n-the fuck-”

Kenny stepped in to grab his face and kissed him fiercely. Falling backwards against the car with lips, tongue, teeth, and without any preamble. Kenny wasn’t this forceful, never, but Kyle felt himself falling into it more than anything.

He had handfuls his coat in his hands, still pissed off and trying to convey that through his own mouth. Kenny had a handful of his jacket and a handful of Kyle’s thigh, making the other press him against the car in the very public high school parking lot.

Kyle didn’t fucking care.

He’d spent too long worrying, feeling like some wife of a fucking pirate waiting on the balcony for her husband to come back from sea. That wasn’t his role, that wasn’t who he was. He was tired of feeling weak, tired of feeling tired, needing this, needing Kenny, needing to regain whatever he’d lost the first time he saw Kenny dead.

He yanked back on Kenny’s hair, harder than intended, to press much rougher kisses against his perfectly-unharmed neck, feeling satisfaction at hearing Kenny groan as he willingly broke the kiss to have marks sucked into his skin.

“Hey guys, I- HOLY SHIT.”

Kyle whirled around as Kenny froze, to see Stan holding his hands up in front of him and walking backwards.

“I’m leaving, I’m out. Goodnight everybody, I officially am done.”

Kyle let go of Kenny without breaking eye contact with Stan, beginning to blush luminously.

Kenny had to be batted away from where he was groping Kyle, and the Jewish boy coughed before attempting to speak.

“Stan, wait- it-” He could only thank God that it was Stan, not someone like Cartman, who came across them making out against his car. “We’re headed to meet up with everyone. Want a ride?”

“Nope.” Stan shook his head, so convincingly that it made Kenny start laughing. Kyle elbowed him.

“I’m riding in the back, Stan, you can keep an eye on us,” Kenny said sweetly. Kyle glanced over his shoulder to give him a look, and Kenny’s eyes softened. He looked apologetic, and offered a smile. Kyle exhaled.

They’d be talking about this later. Whether this was a real concern or Kenny was stressed, or Kyle was approaching this wrong…he’d corner Kenny later. He wasn’t going to let this go and Kenny had to have known that.

Stan looked between them both for a moment before sighing, throwing his arms in the air and walking around the car.

Kenny gave Kyle a gentle nudge towards the driver’s seat, smiling at him.

Kyle still felt like a good fight, but some of the tension had now left his brain and chest, leaving him able to breathe. He inhaled deeply, letting the air out and giving Kenny a single nod. Later. That was a conversation for later.

They were about to have another important one coming up soon.


	10. The New Gang

The setup went without anything major being discussed. Kyle and Stan argued over pizza, Kenny lazily declaring All Pizza to be Good Pizza and helping none. Craig and Tweek arrived another five minutes after pizza, and everyone crowded into Stan’s room to assemble with pizza and sodas in the middle, teenagers in some kind of worshipping circle around.

Kenny sat close enough to Kyle that he brushed shoulders when he reached for a cola, taking a piece of Kyle’s veggie-only choice to help justify its purchase.

“Okay. So who’s letting me know what’s going on,” Kenny said finally, sitting with his back against Stan’s bed. “Tweeks, what’s this about you and the gas station thing?”

Tweek looked fine, except for the fact he couldn’t seem to keep his hands still. Craig sat next to him but only looked down at the floor. Stan looked between the two couples.

“First we need to catch Stan up,” Kyle said, taking control. “Who’s going to start that?”

“I will,” Kenny said cheerfully. “It’s my curse. I can’t die, Stanny-boy. I’ve died more times than I can remember and I keep coming back.”

“…Huh?” Stan’s eyes looked distant, but he was listening. “Like…death dying?”

“Death dying,” Kenny agreed. “You’ve seen me killed, dude. Lots of times.”

“Something happens when people see it,” Kyle murmured. “Karen was there one time, with me, and it didn’t even register with her at all.”

“Yeah, uhh…” Stan looked over at the other duo next to him. “Fucking what?”

“I don’t remember Kenny dying,” Tweek spoke carefully, hands clenched around a caffeine-free root beer. “Kyle keeps reminding me. I know I saw it…but all I remember is seeing Kyle with blood on his face and hands. That’s it.”

Kyle took the time to be slightly impressed with the long sentence as Stan tried to wrap his mind around what was just said.

“I don’t…are you guys joking?” Stan looked between them again, nearly cringing away.

“I’m not kidding, Stan.” Kenny spoke again, low and soft. His eyes were solemn and locked on the brunet. “Ever since I can remember, I’ve been killed off. Lots of different ways, kind of…kind of ridiculously. Kyle was the first person to realize what was happening.” He sent Kyle a soft little smile, brief before looking back at their friend. “I can’t die. No matter what.”

Kyle exhaled, closing his eyes.

“So you die,” Stan said slowly. “And just…come back? And no one knows?”

“Even if they’re looking at me,” Kenny affirmed.

“And…you and Kyle were there?” Stan hesitantly asked Tweek, who nodded jerkily.

“The…where Karen was hurt,” He twitched, violently, and Craig laid a hand on his knee. “At the gasstation…Idon’tremember, but Kyle was sitting on the floor. Crying.”

Kyle grit his teeth against the look Stan gave him, looking away.

“That…you saw Kenny die?”

“It was the second time I’ve witnessed anything,” Kyle murmured. “I remember.”

Stan exhaled. “Is that why you’ve…aw, man, is that why you’ve been acting weird?”

Kyle lifted his gaze, green eyes sparking with determination. “It’s worse for Kenny.”

“Probably not,” Kenny himself spoke so quietly Kyle wasn’t sure Stan even heard. The look on Kenny’s face was unnaturally stony.

“But what I did see, andKyledidn’t,” Tweek ran together, “Was…the shadow thing.”

“Shadow thing?” Both Kenny and Stan said in unison.

Tweek still wasn’t looking anyone in the eyes, but his dark brows were furrowed as he gripped his soda.

“For a second, Kennywasn’t…Kenny anymore.” Tweek ran a thumb along the aluminum can, eyes narrowing. “You were something shadow. You know how when you’re by a strobe light, everything that moves like it’s stop motion?”

“No,” Stan said at the same time Kyle said “Yes.”

“It’s like the stroboscopic effect,” Kyle told Stan. “Like when you see a plane propeller that’s going at full speed but it looks like it’s slow or going backwards.”

“Anyway,” Stan waved Tweek on.

“Itwas dark,” Tweek continued. “But Kenny looked like mist. Threw the guy against the wall, and I swear I saw him talk to Kyle,”

“He did,” Kyle interjected briefly.

“And the shadow grabbed Kyle, except then it was Kenny’s hand.”

Craig looked like the only person who wasn’t confused as all hell. Kyle chalked it up to his normal stoic expression, but no. Tweek had told him all this already, hadn’t he?

“I don’t remember any of that,” Kenny admitted, brows furrowed. There was Mysterion again, in Kenny’s eyes. Cold and focused, a sleeping power that Kyle couldn’t seem to look away from.

“What did you feel like?” Craig asked then, hand still resting on his boyfriend’s knee. “What were you thinking?”

Kenny swallowed. “I wasn’t. Thinking, I mean.”

He was clearly struggling, and Kyle took a swig of his bottled water just to distract himself. Kenny looked uncomfortable, another expression he didn’t like on his face.

“He hurt Karen,” Kenny said, voice lowering to near-Mysterion levels. “He hurt my little sister.” Kenny’s eyes lifted, and Kyle’s heart froze at the emotion he saw. “I was going to kill him.”

All four boys stared at Kenny with varying emotions.

“And you don’t remember any of the shadow stuff?” Craig asked, watching Kenny’s eyes fall again as he shook his head.

“The weird thing is,” Kyle spoke after considering what he’d seen the last few minutes, “The moment Tweek talked about. When Kenny grabbed me? That’s the part I don’t remember. I know he was holding my hand all of a sudden, but I can’t even remember looking at him. Like I dozed off or something.”

Kenny stared at Kyle, deep in thought, as Stan watched with wide eyes.

“So…” He looked almost shy to speak now, leaning in like he had to keep a secret. “Kyle…you watched Kenny die?” Kyle nodded without looking up. “And Kenny…he was gone? And just came back?”

“Like the usual,” Kenny tried to drawl, not quite up to par as usual. “Really inconvenient to die all the time, let me tell you. Making up that homework is a biiiiitch-”

“Stop it, Kenny.” Kyle rubbed his face, fighting off the incoming headache. “It still hurts him to die, Stan.”

“Kenny?” Stan’s confused and dazed expression gave way to heartfelt concern, and Tweek’s gaze snapped up to stare at the undead boy.

The tall blond froze, eyes flitting between the four before shrugging. “It’s not something I like talking about, I’ll admit that.”

Craig and Tweek glanced at each other, clearly having a silent conversation the others weren’t privy to. Tweek scowled and Craig shrugged, and the twitchy boy redirected his attention to Kenny.

“If you’ve been through this,” Tweek gestured with his soda can, “this re-birth thing, a lot, why do you think it happens?”

“I have no frickin’ frackin’ clue.” Kenny shrugged both shoulders. “It just happens and it sucks.”

“Doyouthinkyou’renothuman?” Tweek said it all in a rush, the words illegible.

“What?” Kyle asked for them all.” Tweek looked annoyed.

“What if,” Mismatched eyes glared at the three. “You aren’t. Human.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Kyle said before Kenny or Stan could speak.

“Oh, and coming back from the dead isn’t?” Tweek’s chest visibly expanded with a quick and loud sigh. “Jesus Christ, Kyle, really?”

“I mean, I’ve thought of that,” Kenny said thoughtfully. “A really long time ago. But I don’t, I mean…” He shrugged. “Other than the dying thing, I’m a normal dude.”

Kyle could not summon the words for how inane that sounded, and so just stared at Kenny and hoped it could convey how _fucking stupid_ that sentence just was.

“Oh, other than that,” Stan said for Kyle, throwing his hands up. “That tiny piece of difference. Jesus, Kenny.”

“I think Tweek’s right,” Craig somehow silenced them all without even speaking loudly. “There’s just no fucking way this has a normal explanation. Nothing in our timeline is being messed up, it’s just McCormick.”

Kenny and Kyle looked at each other. Kenny’s eyes were serious, and Kyle got the message. He wouldn’t say anything if Kyle didn’t want to.

“…Right?” Craig asked, looking between the two.

Fuck it. Any information might help.

“There was a period,” Kyle spoke, feeling a strange shivery feeling creep up his arms, “Where I was trapped in some kind of loop. A Thursday, right after Christmas.”

“Yeah?” Stan drew out when Kyle paused.

“No one remembered, not even Kenny, when something repeated,” Kyle didn’t like thinking about it still. It sent panic rushing back. He shoved it down, looking among the other boys gathered. “It went on for longer than I could keep track. I couldn’t write anything down, I couldn’t tell anyone. Except Kenny, I kept telling him and he believed me right off. Because of…his own thing.” He didn’t let himself pause long, not wanting more questions. “Kenny was able to break me out of it.”

“How?” Kyle wished Stan hadn’t asked the question. Even now, the answer froze on his tongue.

“I died.” Kenny said easily. Like it was nothing. Like it didn’t matter.

“You killed yourself,” Kyle snapped, fists clenching.

Tweek looked like he was about to have a heart attack and even Craig looked visibly rattled. Stan’s eyes were impossibly large, soft brown filled with horror.

“ _Kyle_ -” Kenny’s tone definitely meant he didn’t want it worded like that. Kyle didn’t care. Kenny had killed himself for him, and after the gas station, he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to think about it without wanting to vomit again.

“Fucking what, man?” Tweek’s voice raised about three octaves. “What the shit?!”

“I had to get him out!” Kenny actually looked uncomfortable himself. His cheeks were pink and he looked pissed. “Kyle was…if we’re just blurting out secrets, Ky, then-”

“That’s enough!” They’d upset Tweek and that was where Craig actually became scary. The giant growled, steel grey eyes flashing. “Okay. We got that story. Kenny, back down.”

“Me?!” Kenny actually pointed to himself, which was cute, but Kyle wasn’t in the mood for cute.

“You,” Craig spoke in the same even tone, unwavering. The two tall boys stared each other down. “Easy.”

“Hey, look, I promise I’m not trying to upset Tweekster,” Kenny protested.

“You’re upsetting Kyle.”

Kenny looked surprised, glancing at the redhead. Kyle flushed, arms still clenching his water with white knuckles. He glared at Craig for even insinuating that Kyle might be fragile, but the boy didn’t even look bothered. Just had this stupid, knowing look on his face.

“I think _I’m_ upset,” Stan weakly interjected. “Holy fucking shit, this is a lot of information. It’s…just…fuck, guys.” He looked helpless. “How long have you guys been trying to work this on your own?”

Kyle just shrugged and gestured to Kenny, who was watching Stan with nothing to say.

“Well, don’t anymore.” Tweek spoke rapidly, but his words were perfectly legible. The hand on his knee had never moved the whole conversation. “I remember. Craig believes me. Stan?”

“I’m in, yeah,” Stan still looked a bit green, but his expression was determined. “I’m…yeah. I’m with you guys, entirely. All in this together. Whatever I can do, count on me.”

“You’re not by yourself,” Craig used an even tone Kyle could imagine worked well on Tweek at calming nerves. “It’s us five, then.”

“Yeah,” Tweek lifted his pointed chin.

“Yeah,” Stan followed quickly, nodding with determination.

“Yes,” Kyle finally looked back at Kenny, who was looking between them all like they’d personally gifted him Christmas.

Kenny looked speechless, mosaic eyes lost and hopeful all at once, like he couldn’t believe what was happening.

Stan raised a soda can, and Tweek surprisingly followed suit, which meant Craig did too. At this point he’d be an asshole not to, so Kyle raised his rather worse-for-the-wear water and they all looked at Kenny.

The boy slowly raised a soda can to gently _thmmk_ against the rest of them, and somehow, it felt more sealing than a blood pact.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy Dialogue Heavy Chapters, Batman!
> 
> Though for real, now I want pizza.


	11. Dusk in South Park

Kenny wanted to walk Kyle back home.

When Kyle stood, Kenny did as well, even though Kyle reminded the idiot that he literally lived in the next house.

“I want to,” Kenny said, blue eyes burning into Kyle’s. “Come on.”

So Kyle let him literally walk him a couple steps before Kenny grabbed his arm. He glanced over, hands shoved in his green jacket, as Kenny began to drag him past his own house and towards the park.

“Kenny, they’re probably waiting for you back at Stan’s.” Kyle protested, even as he walked willingly beside him.

“I’ll be back,” Kenny said, voice firm. “Stay with me.”

Kyle did. Kenny sat on the swings, giving himself a gentle push. Kyle watched for a moment before sitting next to him.

The two of them sat together in the cold mountain air, watching the sun set. No one else was in the park, probably because it was fucking cold as shit.

“Are you okay, Ky?” Kenny’s voice was soft. He wasn’t watching Kyle, staring off into the distance instead.

“Are you okay, Kenny?” Kyle snipped back, pulling his new hat further down his face.

“I told you, I’m used to it.” Kenny swung a bit higher, swinging his long legs. “I mean what I said, you don’t look good.”

“Yeah, well, I can’t fucking sleep, for one,” Kyle kicked at the ground under the swings. “I keep feeling like I’m back there. I keep seeing the same shit. I had to see you die, Ken. I’m not going to be fucking okay.”

Kenny exhaled, slowly. His legs stilled, and he swung more gently.

“I wish you hadn’t been there,” He said quietly. “I didn’t think about how this might fuck you up. I didn’t think about it at all.”

Kyle shrugged, angrily. “I wish it hadn’t happened at all. Why’d you have to try and jump the guy, you fuckwit?”

Kenny’s exhale this time was more of a scoff. “What if he shot Ike?” He finally looked over at Kyle, Mysterion peering with blue eyes that pierced the redhead. “Would you have run away?”

“…No.” Kyle tried to block the mental image of his baby brother hurt and bleeding. “I wouldn’t.”

Both teenagers fell silent, the squeak of chains interrupting the evening. It brought back another wave of nostalgia for Kyle. He wasn’t even that old, and already he wished he could go back to younger days. It felt like heavy shit back then, but somehow he felt like he handled things better as a kid. Or maybe he just didn’t notice things as much back then.

“I love you.” Kyle said, staring down at the ground. Remembering fierce battles and stupid fights they’d held in this place, an adventure in every corner. “So much, Kenny.”

Kenny’s sneakers dragged him to a stop, Kyle watching as his head remained lowered.

“So it’s going to fuck me up. You have to understand that.”

Kenny’s hand appeared in his vision, and Kyle reached for it. Kenny wove their fingers together with care, warm and reassuring.

“I’m a horrible person, Kyle.”

The Jewish boy looked over, incredulous.

“Uh, what?” Kyle’s eyebrow arched to ridiculous levels. “No. Not in a million fucking years, Kenny.”

“I am.” The taller boy looked tired, leaning against one of the chains holding up the swing. “I still can’t really wish you didn’t know.” His eyes closed. “I can wish you weren’t there, but…I’m glad you remember, even though it’s causing you problems.”

Kyle’s jaw tightened. His own exhaustion seemed to wane, the spark back to light the fire that was himself, the only thing he had to offer anyone else.

“I’m not some frail damsel, you asshole.” Kyle squeezed his fingers harder, not exactly affectionately. “Don’t protect me. I remember, and I’m glad you aren’t by yourself anymore.” He kicked Kenny’s ankle. “I would still choose to know, Kenny.”

Kenny flinched. “Ky.”

“You’ve dealt with this long enough,” Kyle kept the grip on his hand. “And yes, I really hope I never see anything like that again. Seeing you in pain was just…” He couldn’t even find the words. “I love you too much for that. But I love you too much to let you go through all that alone, too. You’ve always been alone, Ken. And me, Stan? Cartman, Butters, Tweek….we all left you in the dust. You were kicked around and treated unfairly and if we needed anything, you were right there. You were if I needed you,” Kyle’s eyes focused on Kenny with determination. Holding a promise. “Let me be there for you now. Wanting me to doesn’t make you a bad person.” Not when he’d been left alone for so long.

Kenny’s beautiful mosaic eyes trailed over Kyle, like he was memorizing. Taking in every inch of him, fingers squeezing back just as much. Kyle could see Kenny struggling with himself. Kyle was always good at talking, and so he pushed at that block Kenny always put up.

“You are,” Kyle said firmly, confidently, “The most courageous, hard-working, selfless individual I’ve ever met.” Kenny kept his gaze, unblinking. “And yes, I think you were given little to work with ever since you were born. Situational and whatever this curse is. But you’ve never had my pity for that. You have, entirely, all of my admiration and respect, Kenny McCormick.”

Kenny exhaled through his lips, uneven and deep. Kyle kept his eyes on Kenny. The sudden brush of a memory flit by…those last few seconds in the gas station. Color, warmth. Love.

“What, you proposing to me less than a few months in?” Kenny’s joke would have been better if his airy voice hadn’t cracked.

“No, not yet.” Kyle refused to be embarrassed away from this topic. He was riled now. “I’ll come up with something better, then. This isn’t a script, Kenny. This is real. I mean it.”

“And you won’t mean whatever you propose with?” Kenny cracked a smile, cheeks reddening and eyes looking almost afraid.

“Don’t try and change the topic.” Kyle leaned in, like it was all a secret. “I want to know. I’ll always want to know. If I’m not there, I want you to tell me. I don’t know what happens if you’re gone and I’m not around. Okay?”

“Okay,” Kenny pretty much breathed. “Yeah. Cool.”

Kyle let himself swing just slightly, not enough to warrant letting go of Kenny’s hand, though he did ease on his grip. The sun had disappeared behind the mountains, finally.

“Courageous,” Kenny murmured to himself, almost reverently. “Shit, Ky.”

“Really? That’s one of the more obvious ones.” Kyle gently nudged his foot. “I wouldn’t have held up well if it had been me, Kenny. With your curse instead of mine.” Kenny jolted slightly, frowning.

“I hadn’t, either.” Kenny admitted, quietly. “But you can only try offing yourself so many times before you realize it isn’t helping.”

Kyle closed his eyes. Ouch.

“Yeah, probably should have skipped that topic, baby.” Kenny winced. “Sorry.”

If anyone else had ever dared to call Kyle ‘baby’, they’d find themselves laid out on the ground bleeding. He decided to just change the topic entirely. Get back to what the feeling was a moment ago.

“I’m still impressed you’ve been keeping up with your classes,” Kyle grinned. “I didn’t forget.”

“Oh, yeah.” Kenny was back to himself, drawling easily. “I actually forgot the nerd fetish reveal, actually.”

“Well, you’re attractive enough on your own,” Kyle wasn’t going to let Kenny win anything tonight. “Can’t blame me for finding you even more captivating with your nose in a book.”

“Well…” Kenny actually seemed to be struggling for a response to that one.

“So you wanna graduate with me,” Kyle mimicked Kenny’s flirtatious drawl to, what he thought, was wild success. “What, are you some sentimental fuck or something?”

“Something,” Kenny was grinning broadly now, looking almost relaxed. He still had a cute tinge to his face, Kyle took a moment to enjoy it. “Of course, I can only imagine how decked out you’ll be on graduation day. Dragging awards down the aisle.”

“Oh, I wanted to ask you something, actually.” Kyle had forgotten in the face of all the other horrors they’d encountered. Here, by themselves in their little neighborhood at dusk? That’d work just fine. “About graduating. I’m not going Ivy.”

“What?” Kenny actually looked startled, no joke in sight. “Why? You still have a year left, Kyle, no way they denied you once and-”

“I’m not applying.” Kyle cut him off, firmly. “To Ivy.”

Kenny’s gaze turned interrogating. “Why? Dude, you always wanted to be a lawyer. And now you’re not even going to try?”

“You can become a lawyer at more than just the Ivy League schools, you dipshit.” Kyle rolled his eyes. “I’m going to Boulder.”

“Boulder?” Kenny parroted, brows furrowed. “Boulder, Colorado?”

“Yep.”

“No.” Kenny stood up, letting Kyle’s hand fall as he stepping in front of his swing and grabbed the two chains holding Kyle up. “Kyle, if this has anything to do with sentimentality, I will _break up_ with you before I let you give up Cornell for me.”

How he even knew Kyle wanted New York wasn’t even important at this point.

“It’s not just for you,” Kyle said with more poise than maybe he’d ever displayed in his life. He stood, forcing Kenny back enough to give him space. “But you’re a large part of it.” Kyle looked Kenny in the eyes, able to see the mixes of blues that made up the boy’s gaze.

“I don’t want to leave everyone behind just to chase something I don’t know I’ll ever find.” Kyle drew himself as tall as he could, not that it felt like much standing next to Kenny. “I don’t want to leave my family behind. And I include you in that, too. You and Stan.” He’d told Stan this earlier. The two had always been part of Kyle’s family, if maybe a little differently for Kenny.

“I am going to Boulder. I’m going to become a lawyer.” Kyle’s voice was unwavering. “From there, I don’t know. All I know is that I can’t leave everyone I love on the other side of the country. I don’t care what I might find, or what I’ll miss if I don’t. I know one more thing I want. That’s where you enter.” Kyle felt his cheeks heat, but he held Kenny’s gaze as the other just listened, hanging on to every syllable. “I know you’re waiting until Karen goes to college. I know you don’t intend on going. So. I won’t be living on campus. Once Karen graduates, I want you to come to Boulder with me.”

“You…want me to live with you?” Kenny asked in disbelief.

“I’ve only known you my whole life, dude.” Kyle added another eye-roll. “I’m renting a two bedroom soon as I get there. Two and a half years from now, you’re living with me. And whatever you choose to do, I’ll support it. School, work, whatever.”

Kenny’s knuckles were white where they gripped the swing. “Kyle…”

“It’s a good school. I’ll do great,” Kyle let his ego flaunt a bit. “And Stan’s going to Denver, so he’ll be close. So’s Tweek, so Craig is probably following. Karen can stay with us too, if you want her to. Be nice if she could have something to call home outside of South Park, right?”

Kenny was staring, utterly flabbergasted. “ _Kyle_ -”

“And no. I’m not going to change my mind.” Kyle finished staunchly. “You have two years to decide. But that’s what I’m doing. That’s my plan.”

He wouldn’t have to say goodbye, not for real. Kyle always wanted something good for his future. He could see himself successful, and nothing was being given up. Instead, he was getting both things he wanted. The people he loved, and the ability to achieve everything he’d always wanted.

Few people could say that.

Kenny lowered, sitting nearly on the ground, and for a second Kyle thought he was going to force the redhead to kick him, but instead Kenny just more or less rested his head on Kyle’s legs. Like he was too overwhelmed to say anything.

Snorting, Kyle drew his fingers through blond hair. 

“So?” He teased, the fire dimming to a comfortable flame. “You gonna think about it?”

“Yes.” Kenny’s voice sounded rather wet, so Kyle didn’t push him. He smiled, gently scruffling his hair.

The sun had left entirely, and South Park was getting dark. For once, Kyle could feel relief at finally having some respite. He was okay. Kenny was okay. Karen was okay. They had a team now, neither of them were alone anymore. They had a team in case any other disasters occurred, and Kyle had a plan for his future. For once, finally, he felt like he could finally breathe.


	12. The Coward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most dialogue heavy chapter yet, I think.

Kenny walked him home. He leaned in for a kiss at the sidewalk, but Kyle gently pushed him away with a glance towards the house. He hadn’t told them yet. So instead he got a flirtatious wink and was watched until he walked inside. As if something could happen to him within four steps.

He read downstairs. Ate dinner. Basically mulled around the idea of him telling his parents about everything. Should he?

He had other things to talk about first. He had to break it to his parents somehow. His mother was going to throw a fit when she found out he was not going to New England. He wasn’t sure what his dad would say…probably nothing, Kyle was still following his footsteps so maybe-

Kyle paused in front of his brother’s door. He could faintly hear shrieking YouTube videos through the door, so Ike was definitely in. He pursed his lips, and knocked.

“Ike?” Kyle leaned against the wall, arms crossed. He listened, waiting until he heard the video pause. “I need advice.”

The boy jerked open the door, staring.

“You need what?” He asked, almost mockingly disbelieving. “You? From me?”

“Me, from you,” Kyle wearily admitted. “Look dude, you have time to talk or not?” 

“Oh yeah,” Ike stood aside and waved him into his room with a flourish. “I’m not gonna miss this. Usually you go to Stan or something equally stupid.”

Kyle elbowed him as he passed, earning a smack on the shoulder in return.

Ike’s room was a crazy sort of organized, the kind that made you stare at a child and hope they didn’t grow up to be a serial killer. If Kyle was smart, his brother was even smarter, just without the redhead’s fire and motivation. Ike was methodical. Kyle was reaction without consideration.

The two boys looked at each other, and Kyle sighed as he sat at Ike’s desk.

“Shut the door. I don’t want Mom to hear.”

Ike’s eyebrows raised to astronomical levels, but he did as he was told without even a comment.

Kyle took a deep breath.

“I’m not going to the East Coast.”

Ike’s arms fell. He reached for a pillow on his bed, throwing it at Kyle with ferocity.

“You’re such a fucking rich boy, Kyle,” Ike was actually laughing, laughing so hard he had to sit. “‘I don’t wanna go to the East Coast. Wahh.’”

“Don’t make fun of me!” Kyle withdrew, looking offended. His face flushed. “This is really important, Ma’s going to _kill_ me.”

“Oh, no she won’t.” Ike rolled his eyes, legs splayed in front of him as he leaned against the door. “Kyle, I thought you’d gotten in trouble or something. So you don’t want to go to the East Coast for school. Boo-fuckity-hoo. Don’t, then.”

Kyle looked a bit helpless. “You don’t get it,” He stammered. “Our Mom’s going to murder me. She’s been telling people I’m Ivy-bound for years.”

“And she’ll have to take a big dose of reality and see that maybe that’s not what you want,” Ike said, shrugging. “Serves her right. Do you even want to be a lawyer?”

“I do,” Kyle answered. “A lot. But I want to go to school here.”

“Denver?”

“Boulder.”

“Nice,” Ike nodded sagely. “If she makes a fuss, just say you’d miss her too much. I think she’d combust from the indecision.”

“ _Ike_.”

“Look, dude-” The younger teenager brought a knee up to rest his arm on. “Ma’ll get over it. Dad’ll probably be thrilled you’re going to a less expensive school. I’d tell them soon, though.”

Kyle spun lightly in the desk chair. “You think it’d take her a while to get over it?”

“Eh,” Ike wrinkled his nose in thought. “I’d be more concerned about them blaming Kenny for it, actually.”

“I’m sorry, what?” Kyle stopped, raising his eyebrows.

“I said, I’d be more concerned about them worried you’re messing around with a poor kid who told you not leave him,” Ike repeated patiently.

“Kenny didn’t- he had very little to do with this decision!” Kyle was ready to go off the rails, but Ike was used to his brother and easily spoke over him.

“I know. The kid would sell his soul if it made you happy, dude, it makes me sick to look at you two.” Ike teased, dark eyes sparkling. “But think about how Ma’ll view it. I say tell her school first, then pretend you dated Kenny afterwards. He’s skinny, she’ll love fussing over him. Even if he is a Catholic.”

Kyle digested all this. “Wait, how do you know?”

Ike made a face at Kyle, lifting a hand. “Dude. I’m shocked no one has told our parents already. You guys are all close and shit around town, everyone knows. If anyone knew they didn’t know, Cartman himself would bust down the door and tap-dance his way to the kitchen to tell her.”

“Thanks for the mental image, dude.”

“Always.”

Both boys were quiet. Kyle’s arms and legs were crossed, lips pressed tightly together. That was…something he hadn’t thought about. It made a lot of sense. He’d have to tell his parents. Tomorrow before school would be great. He could escape, then come back after they cooled off.

“You know, you’re pretty smart.” Kyle aimed a smile at his brother, earning a crooked one in return.

“You’re smart too, Kyle.” Ike said cheerfully. “You just let your goodness get in the way of using your smarts. Don’t worry about Ma. Soon as you’re off, you know we’ll have all sorts of stupid college paraphernalia around to show off how smart her little boy is.”

“Ugh.”

Both Broflovskis laughed.

“I’ll tell them tomorrow,” Kyle said determinedly. “They can deal with it.”

“Can’t wait,” Ike said thoughtfully. “You realize I’m going to have to be at home listening to the shit go down, right?”

“You wanted to be homeschooled, dude.”

“Yeah,” Ike sighed. “I’m going to real school next year, though. This was a terrible idea.”

“Told you.” Kyle smiled.

“Shut it, Mr. First World Problems.” Ike grinned. “I’ve got a lot of blackmail now.”

“That you won’t use,” Kyle smirked as he stood, stretching.

“I’m not as nice as you, Kyle.”

“Oh, I didn’t say you were,” Kyle walked over to the door, watching as Ike flopped over rather than move out of the way of the door. “I was talking about how I have just as much blackmail material.”

“Ah, yes. I always forget.” Ike said wistfully. “Oh well. I’ll save it for your wedding.” He looked up innocently. “You going to be a Broflovski, or McCormick? Hyphenated, maybe?”

Kyle gave him a gentle nudge in the ribs with his foot, watching as Ike started giggling. “You’re not invited.”

“I’ll crash it.”

“I’ll set up a chair out in the parking lot. That’s yours.”

“I’ll drink all the booze and tell embarrassing tales about you.”

“Shouldn’t we let Ma do that?”

Ike dissolved into real laughter, then, unable to retort. Kyle grinned, looking down at his baby brother affectionately.

He’d been startled by Kenny’s admission, but looking down at the kid, it was easy. No. If someone had hurt Ike, Kyle would kill them. No mercy, no hesitation. He understood everything Kenny had felt in that moment.

Kenny had been stuck with a shooter with two people he loved. If it had been him, Ike, and Kyle, with Kyle facing the man, he wasn’t sure he could have handled it so coolly.

“Thanks, Ike.” Kyle told him when the boy calmed down. “I’ll let you know when I’m about to tell them.”

“Much appreciated,” The kid told him from the floor as Kyle threatened to hit him with the door. “I’ll probably stay in my room until I hear screaming.”

Kyle made a noise between a scoff and a sigh. “Great.”

“Good luck, bro.”

Kyle closed the door back behind him, quietly. He listened to his parents talking downstairs, his brother resuming watching videos and talking to friends. Everything was going to be okay. At the least, his brother seemed fine with everything.

Kyle was ready to tell them. Tomorrow. And then once that calmed down, he’d bring Kenny into the conversation. As his boyfriend, rather than childhood friend. 

Honestly, it was remarkable they didn’t know by now.

Kyle opened his door and froze.

A striking picture. The window open, moonlight pouring in and a light breeze. In the dark, a hooded figure, wind blowing the cape around his ankles. Kyle couldn’t see his face, but he didn’t need to.

He walked in and closed the door slowly, not breaking his gaze. The man didn’t move, he might as well have been a statue.

“Kenny.” He’d just talked to him a few hours ago. “What are you doing?”

The man walked up to him, ever graceful and purposeful. Kyle barely caught a glimpse of his skin, he had his down pulled so low.

“It’s Mysterion, Kyle.” The man growled.

Kyle scoffed, folding his arms to mask the goosebumps. “Okay, Mysterion,” Kyle allowed. “What are you doing here?”

Kenny took another step closer, towering over Kyle.

“For that matter,” Kyle said when the other didn’t speak, “Why are you still Mysterion? In general. You’re a little old for costumes at this point, dude.”

He got an irritated vibe from the blond at that point. “Usefulness,” He defended. “Mysterion can step in where Kenny can’t. I use it with m- his- _Karen’s_ parents.”

“Uh huh.” He was going to ask more about that later. “And what about why you’re specifically here? Talking to me?”

“First of all, you like it.” A smirk took over Mysterion’s features. “You find me attractive, and you don’t argue as much.”

Sure, okay. He was very, very attracted to Kenny’s ‘hero’ persona. Maybe a little too much. But not for…any weird reasons.

“I like the fact you talk to me more,” Kyle turned red. “You’re still Kenny, it’s not any different!”

The smirk was still there, and looked oddly menacing. Thrills of fear washed over him, which really wasn’t helping trying to play this off.

Mysterion took another step, making Kyle retreat out of instinct, only to find himself running into his door. The cloaked man lifted his chin, teeth showing in his wicked grin. He was so close that he was radiating warmth. Mysterion continued to stare.

“You don’t look at him like this.” Mysterion whispered.

“You are him,” Kyle tried injecting logic back into the conversation. Everything felt so surreal.

Mysterion was quiet. “Not really,” He said, still low and gravelly. “We’re hardly the same person, Kyle.”

“I still see Kenny,” Kyle said, lifting his chin to better view him. “Just wearing a mask.”

He waited for the crack about Kyle’s inevitable Mask Fetish, but it didn’t come.

“He’s a coward,” Mysterion spoke, with ferocity somehow even though his voice remained quiet. “And he can’t offer you anything.”

“What the fuck are you on?” Kyle tried wrapping his mind around the turn this conversation was taking. “What…seriously, what the fuck?”

“He has nothing for you, Kyle.” Mysterion growled, cape brushing against Kyle with the winter breeze. “What can he give you? He can hold your hand, go places with you, say cute things, give you sexual satisfaction, maybe. What else? Make you alienate your parents? Make you be traumatized again and again until you’ve lost your mind? How about even smaller, force you to deal with where he comes from?”

“Kenny, stop-”

“He’s white trash, Kyle.” The redhead just gaped, staring. “And that’s all he can be, no matter what he pretends. And then he’ll be angry at you for treating him with love. Just because he’s embarrassed to be reminded of what he is, in comparison to you.”

“That’s not fucking true, Ken, knock it off!” Kyle hissed, hands going up to try and shove Mysterion back. The man didn’t even move.

“You know it is.” Mysterion cocked his head. “You’re afraid to tell your parents, and you should be. You know who he is, and no matter how charitable you are, he’ll always be someone everyone cringes to see with you.”

“K-”

“A rich, handsome boy, slated for good schools and a famous career, with a ragged, poor boy who barely got a high school degree in tow. What will people think of you, Kyle? Have you thought about that?”

“Stop-”

“And you know it, you know it and you look at me because I’m everything he can’t be. I’m everything you actually want in a partner, someone you feel can match wits with you. Can speak without being afraid or making bad jokes, can meet every punch for punch and maybe win. I know. I’ve always known. You look at me differently than him. Deny it.”

“This is so out of line,” Kyle stammered, the stuttering and red face out of rage rather than embarrassment. “This is so fucking out. Kenny, drop the fucking shit. Now.”

“If I told you to make me, you’d think about kissing me,” Mysterion sneered. “Because you like this. You don’t want the passiveness of Kenny. Why would you? Everything he is, is bad for you.”

“Don’t you ever, _ever_ talk about yourself like this, you fucking understand me?” Kyle snarled.

“Why do you think I picked up the cloak tonight?!” Mysterion met him for tone. “Secondly, second fucking point, he’s so fucking weak. He can’t talk about anything important without a cloak. He can’t talk to his friends that care about him without wanting to die of embarrassment. He feels happy you’re afraid and not well, because he’s so fucking pathetic he doesn’t want to be alone in suffering. You hate it. You want someone to rely on, not rely on you.”

“That’s not a relationship, you fucking shitwit.” Kyle shoved again, but met resistance. “I shouldn’t rely on you all the time, you shouldn’t rely on me. We rely on each other, I don’t care if you need me sometimes. I’m glad you do, you understand?”

“Kenny can offer you nothing,” Mysterion rasped. “Nothing that will benefit you in the long run.”

Kyle’s breathing was uneven. He could hit him, he really could. “If you want to break up, then, break up.” He was shaking, in absolute, blinding anger. “If that’s what you want, do it.”

Mysterion grit his teeth. “That’s not what I’m saying.”

“You’re saying a lot of stupid shit, might as well.” Kyle’s eyes spat fire. “If you’re so bad for me and I can’t make my own decisions. Fuck you, Kenny.”

“Fuck you, Kyle.” Mysterion said back, too quickly to have thought about how dumb it sounded.

“I want you around. I’m happy around you. If that’s not enough for you, if you think you need some great incredible purpose to warrant being in a relationship, then call it quits. That’s you, not me.”

“I’m not _good enough for you_!” Mysterion grabbed his shoulders. He shook Kyle, rattling him against the door. “I will never be someone you can be proud of.”

“I’ve always been proud of you.” Kyle grabbed handfuls of his cloak, both boys glaring. “I told you that.”

He could hear Mysterion’s breathing.

“I will never be someone you _should_ be proud of.” The anger had left his voice, and a sigh escaped Mysterion’s lips. He sounded tired. “You’re so tired, Kyle. Already.”

“I just watched you practically die in my arms,” Kyle said incredulously. “I’m exhausted. I have nightmares every night, I wake up panicking because I can’t ask if you’re okay.”

“You realize being around me means that will happen more?” Mysterion’s voice was still low, but without the rasp. “I can’t do this to you. Who I am, I…I don’t even think I know what I am.”

Kyle’s mind flew back to the conversation at Stan’s. “What, you think Tweek is right?”

“I’ve been thinking I’m not human for a while now.”

Kyle blinked. “And you didn’t mention it?”

Mysterion grit his teeth. “I told you. Kenneth McCormick is a fucking coward.”

“And that means Kenneth McCormick,” Kyle said with ice dripping off his voice, “Is more human than most people I know. Whatever he may be physiologically.” He felt Mysterion’s shoulders fall slightly. He was winning. “And no matter what you think. If I want to shoulder his burdens, I will. That’s my decision. His decision is if he wants me to, sure. He can call it if he wants. I won’t.”

Mysterion’s gloved hands slid from Kyle’s shoulders. “You should.”

“I won’t.”

He could feel the frustration coming off the other. Kyle met his gaze, but Mysterion finally looked away, eyes narrowing. Time to try a guilt trip, perhaps.

“Do you love me, Kenny?”

“Love isn’t enough to validate a relationship, Kyle.” Mysterion spoke quietly.

The profound words hit, but Kyle recovered quickly. “You seem pretty smart to me, Kenny.” He reached up, to cup his cheek. Mysterion flinched, as if thinking about pushing his hand away, but he let him in the end. “You know what I think of you. I’ll tell you again, if I need to. As many times as I need to.”

“No.” Mysterion’s voice was impossibly gentle for wearing the cloak. “No, Kyle. I remember.”

The two were quiet.

“I love you, Ken.” Kyle pushed again, running a thumb over his cheekbone.

He heard Kenny sigh. “You do.”

“I still hold to what I said, Kenny.” Kyle coaxed him to turn his head. “I think you need to get out of South Park. Outside here, no one is going to care where you came from.”

Mysterion finally pushed off his hand, but he didn’t move away. “He’s afraid of that, too.”

“I thought so,” Kyle rolled his eyes. “Lucky thing I’ll be there.”

Mysterion shook his head. Kyle swore he could tell he was rolling his eyes. “You’re so stubborn.”

“That I know you have no problem telling me.”

A smile, finally. Mysterion scoffed. He took a breath, straightening. “I need to get going, then.”

Kyle blinked. “What?” He poked him. “Why don’t you stay? You did before. Stayed with me during the loop.” He paused. “I made you take off the mask,” He added.

That seemed to interest him. “Did you?”

“I did.” Kyle lifted his chin. “And a couple loops later, I kissed Kenny. Before I even knew if he liked me at all.”

That definitely interested him. Mysterion seemed surprised, immobile.

“I told you,” Kyle said flatly. “You sacrificed yourself on the day we talked the least. I had a lot of time with you that…we lost, kind of.”

Mysterion licked his lips. “Ah.” Another long pause. “Tell me about it?”

“Sure,” Kyle made the motion to sit on the bed, but Mysterion was shaking his head.

“I do need to be somewhere,” He said. “But…I’ll be back. For you. Tonight or tomorrow.”

“Without the mask,” Kyle demanded.

“If that’s what you want, yes.” Mysterion responded quietly.

“Good.”

Should he kiss him? Hug him? After the conversation they had, Kyle wasn’t sure either were a good idea.

“Then come back soon.” Kyle said finally. “I’ll be waiting.”

Mysterion whirled around, cape brushing against Kyle, making his way to the window.

“Kenny.” Mysterion glanced over his shoulder, at the boy who was leaning against the door with an exasperated expression. “I love you.”

Another movement, a relaxation of something.

“Goodnight, Kyle.” Mysterion’s voice fell back to gentle. “He’ll be back.”


	13. Gods

Kyle was sprawled out on the bed. His hair was still damp from the shower, frizzing like it always did if he didn’t dry it properly. His shirt had ridden up, exposing his stomach. He was also dead asleep. He didn’t stir when his window was opened. He didn’t move when someone stood over him. It took until the person laid down next to him to stir, and a hand moving across his stomach to finally squirm out of sleep.

Kyle blinked. It was still dark. He looked over, seeing Kenny still shadowed as Mysterion. Without the mask. Damn idiot decided to be literal with the translation. He reached over, combing his hand sleepily through his hair.

“Hey.” He wasn’t sure where he stood with Kenny right now. The other had been upset when he left, and Kyle had to deal with the aftermath. Kenny had a lot of thoughts he’d never even suspected.

“Hey.” It was Kenny’s voice, too.

The kid looked exhausted. His eyes fluttered closed as Kyle moved his hand to gently massage his neck. Kenny sighed, arm around Kyle’s waist tightening as he snuggled closer.

It was so quiet. Kyle could hear Kenny breathing. He soaked the moment in, the night, the noise, the feeling of Kenny’s arm around him. And then decided to fuck it up.

“So,” Kyle dislodged Kenny’s arm to reach for his phone. The boy watched him with confusion, the tranquil look on his face gone. “I have some bullet points.”

“What the fuck.” Kenny’s hair was all ruffled from the hood, sticking up every which way.

Kyle opened the notes on his phone.

“So,” He said, Kenny staring at him with utter bewilderment. “First point: White Trash. That’s derogatory anyhow, so if anyone else calls you that nowadays, I’ll gladly beat the shit out of them if you don’t want to. This moves into the next point, you being on a different economic status as me-”

“Kyle, you really don’t have to do this,” Kenny interrupted, pushing himself up on one arm.

“It won’t take long,” Kyle gave him a look. “I’ll go through it quick. Just listen.” Kenny didn’t seem to know what to do, and so Kyle went ahead. “So, who the fuck cares. It sucks that you don’t have what I have. I wish you had more advantages in your life, I wish you didn’t have to work so hard. But as for being embarrassed about it, don’t. Craig and even Cartman aren’t very wealthy. No one gives them shit for it.”

“They do to me,” Kenny commented with a grin. “They’ll gladly point it out, Kyle, you’ve seen that. Wouldn’t want you to be embarrassed, babe.”

“That leads us into the third point,” Kyle went on. “I don’t care if people look at us and think about whether we should be together. Seriously, who the fuck cares? Stan’s on board, The attached-at-hip couple don’t even seem to care. It’s our business, no one else’s.”

Kenny snorted softly, laying back down to rest his head against his arms and watch.

“So, one of the biggest ones, what makes you think I want someone like me?” Kyle raised an eyebrow.

Kenny looked a bit helpless, shrugging, hiding his mouth in his arms.

“I don’t. Could you imagine me with someone who acts like me? A neurotic mess times two? I think I like having someone balancing me out.” Kyle sent him a smile, bordering on a smirk. “You’re way more chill than most of us, but you’ll get angry if a situation warrants it. You also forgive easily, though. Shit, why wouldn’t I need that?” Kyle willingly poked fun at himself to make a point. “I get overworked about so much dumb shit, Kenny. Thank God you’re not like me.”

The blond was just watching, blue eyes soft.

“You offer me so much, Ken.” Kyle gently swiped at his phone to make the words float up and down. “You’ve always been a great addition to our group, and me personally. You’re…Kenny, you’re exactly the kind of person I admire. I’ve told you that before, and I’ll gladly say so as many times as you want. I’m so proud of you, Ken.”

“You can stop, Ky.” Kenny said gently.

“Maybe I don’t want to.” Kyle wrinkled his nose at him. “Maybe I want you to know how incredible you are. And maybe I’m going to tell you all the time. Get fucking used to it.”

Kenny carried around every word hurled at him and shouldered it, just like he shouldered everything else. Only he believed it. He actually believed these words. That he was white trash, that he wasn’t worth being with Kyle.”

“If either of us is worth less, I’d argue I am.” Kyle held up a hand. “Let me finish. I really haven’t accomplished much, Kenny. I’m judged on what people think I’ll become…and you are too. Yeah, they expect me to become some rich lawyer in a penthouse. And you, they- they-”

“Drug dealer seems the most common.” Kenny suggested.

“Drug dealer, then. They have a set idea in their head of everything we’re ever going to be. But right now? I don’t have a real job. I don’t pay any bills, I didn’t pay for my car, I don’t pay for insurance or my phone line. You? You support an entire household and you’re raising your little sister. You’ve worked as many jobs as you needed to, you and Karen have phones, Karen has a coat and nice shoes and you make sure she eats well. You are, entirely, genuinely, _way_ more successful than me, just starting from the bottom up. And you’re just seventeen years old.” Kyle raised his eyebrows, clicking off his phone. “Soon, you’ll be out of South Park. You’ll help Karen through school and be away from everyone who has predisposed opinions of you. You’ll be able to do whatever you like, let go of some of the responsibilities that should never have been yours.” Kyle leaned back against his headboard, speaking thoughtfully. “Kenny, I can’t wait to see what you become.”

The blond was still staring, unblinking as he looked up at him. Kyle watched him with pressed lips. In reality, it would take more than just addressing the problems Kenny carried. It might take years for Kenny to even start leaving this behind. But he had Kyle to help. Whatever he could do, he’d be there for anything Kenny needed.

Kenny moved, wrapping his arms around Kyle’s waist and dragging him down. He pulled him down for a kiss, rolling so Kyle was over him. He kissed slow, deep, like they had all the time in the world.

Which to a point, they kind of did. They’d have a while to figure this all out. A year and a half before Kyle left for school, then another year and they’d be living together. If Kenny agreed to it.

“Kyle,” Kenny murmured against his lips. “You’re such a little fucking nerd.”

Kyle broke the kiss for that, half-heartedly glaring down at him.

“Bullet points. You took notes.” Kenny started to laugh, the motion shaking Kyle. “Oh my God. You’re so weird.”

Goddamn it. Kyle was trying very hard to not smile, but the look on Kenny’s face as he tried smothering his own giggles wasn’t helping. Kyle grinned, nuzzling down to nose into his neck. Kenny’s arms wrapped tightly around him as his laughter began to slow.

“I hear this again, next time it’s a Powerpoint presentation.”

That set Kenny off again, and Kyle joined him as they tried to stop giggling, curled up in Kyle’s bed.

This was it. This was the kind of thing Kyle thought back on when things got bad. He felt like he was given so few moments to have quiet times with Kenny. Where something wasn’t in turmoil and trying to make life harder for them.

“I love you, Kyle.” Kenny’s voice was sweet, heartfelt.

Sometimes it was hard to believe the joking, foul-mouthed flirt could hold so much darkness inside him.

“I love you too.” Kyle pressed soft kisses to his neck, hearing Kenny make a soft, groaning sound. “Just you.”

“Mmhm.” Kenny’s fingers threaded into his hair, immediately entangled by curls. He didn’t want to talk anymore. Fine. All the time in the world. They’d get around to it.

\--

Kyle woke up alone, a bit grumpily. Best he did, though. This was about to be a shit-show. Kyle started his car, then sat his mother down. And then, like the mature adult he was, he ran out the front door.

By the time he got to his locker, he’d turned off his cell phone. He didn’t want to hear six dozen messages about how he was throwing a future away, the security that came with better schools. Therefore, he wasn’t expecting to be ambushed.

“Kyle!” Tweek nearly flew into him, hair wildly out of place today. That and his sleep-deprived eyes made him look a bit crazy.

“Tweek, you okay?” He definitely looked more haggard than usual. Which was a feat, to be honest.

“Fine, fine, that’s not important.” Tweek waved his hand. “My text! You didn’t answer. I came looking for you.”

“Oh.” Kyle winced. “I uh- I’m out of sorts with my Mom, kinda. So I turned it off.”

Tweek grunted in response, pulling out a notebook.

“So, my first thought, maybe curses, sure, but yesterday I mentioned about how Kenny might be something else entirely, right?”

“Yeah?” Kyle watched as he shoved his bag into the locker.

“That’s due to the fact he comes back. Immortality, in it’s core, would just be like- like not being able to die. But Kenny dies and returns, and it’s not really regeneration because he physically and spiritually, dies.” Tweek spoke well when he wasn’t agitated, Kyle thought vaguely as his mind wrapped around what was just said. Apparently, he took too long. Tweek grabbed him by the coat and shook him. “ _spiritually_ , Kyle!”

“Okay?”

“So that rules out supernatural.” Tweek rambled on. “He’s not undead, he isn’t reincarnated, so that leaves something a lot more…it’s…”

Kyle waited. A little while. “…Yeah?”

“I’ve been looking into gods,” Tweek said, flipping the page.

“Please do not tell him that.” Kyle groaned. “If I have to hear any quips about ‘sex gods’ I’m calling you in speaker and making you listen to it, too.”

Tweek wrinkled his nose, but looked back to his book.

“Which led me to read about Ressurrective Immortality,” Tweek continued like Kyle hadn’t brought that up at all. “You die, then come back to regain your physical form. Like in comic books…Dormammu from Marvel, that one angel from Valerian, then it goes to religions; all Egyptian gods, really, can die and be hurt but regenerate. The Einherjar from Norse myths. Lots of others.”

Kyle couldn’t read what scrawls were on the notebook, and so asking for it wouldn’t help him digest it. “So… I’m trying to keep up, Tweek. Ressurrective Immortality. That sounds…just right. What will that mean for Kenny?”

“The reason I learn towards gods- hi Stan,” Kyle glanced to see Stan behind him, listening. “Is because clearly, something doesn’t like Kenny, if what you’ve told me so far is true.”

“So how he keeps getting killed by literally everything, out of the blue.” Kyle murmured.

“Something wants him dead.” Tweek’s mismatched eyes shone, brows furrowed in determination. “What if it’s like Greek mythos?”

Stan held up a finger importantly. "Where Zeus fucks something and it becomes a problem?”

Tweek nodded, hair flying with the motion.

“You think he might be the… the offspring of a god, or something.” Kyle could not believe he was having this conversation. “I…really? A Greek god?”

“I don’t think the Greeks are what you’re looking for.”

All three boys looked over to see Kenny, standing even more solemnly than Craig next to him.

Right. Kyle narrowed his eyes. “Kenny hasn’t told us everything.”

“I don’t think I’m supposed to know,” Kenny grit his teeth. “Last time I looked into it, things got bad. I’m not doing that to you guys.”

All four boys stared.

“Fuck that,” Kyle stated.

“Yeah,” Stan was right behind him, literally and figuratively. “If you know something, say it. We’re all in this together.”

“I was up all night with this shit!” Tweek threw the notebook at Kenny, where it passed harmlessly over his shoulder and hit another kid across the hall. “What the fuck!”

“I’m sorry, Tweekers,” Kenny said, not even flinching as the kid behind them said some rude things in their direction. “Look, if I choose to pursue this angle, it’ll be on my own. Tell me about the Ressurrective thing, though.”

“Kenny.” Kyle shouldered past Tweek to stand in front of him, glaring up at him with all the ferocity of an angry poodle. Curls and all. “What do you know.”

Kenny shook his head, eyes firm. “No.”

“ _Kenny McCormick_ I _fucking_ swear to _shit_ -”

“So you’re just going to keep dying and coming back, without ever finding out.” Stan looked puzzled. “Kenny, c’mon. You know and you’re not telling us?”

“I don’t know, it’s a theory,” Kenny replied, shifting his backpack over his shoulder.

“In detail tell us why you don’t want us to know,” Craig said, watching a vibrating Tweek who looked like he wanted to punch Kenny.

“Look, we were playing around as kids. Making up some shit to fight and rescue people, whatever,” Kenny shrugged. “I accidentally came across something real. I went to confront it, and I got hurt. Kyle and Stan were present, I died, I never learned anything more and I wondered if anyone was going to be hurt for it.”

That didn’t line up. Kyle narrowed his eyes. There was something else Kenny was afraid of.

The bell rang.

All five boys looked up, like they only just realized where they were. Kyle didn’t want to go to class. Not now, not when something was actually happening. Not with Kenny hiding secrets.

“That’s bullshit and I’m going to find out what you mean,” Kyle warned him.

“Sure, sure, babe. I’ll talk to you later,” Kenny smiled, shrugging. He nearly ran right into Craig. “My bad, Craigory. I’ll see you guys later…for Karen’s stuff.”

The four stood in a line, all varying degrees of glaring.

“Sorry Kyle, I’m gonna kick his ass.” Tweek told him without looking.

“Sorry Tweek, I’m kicking his ass first.” Kyle replied with crossed arms. “He’s hiding something.”

“Kyle, you’re going to be late.” Stan said with a tap on the shoulder. Kyle groaned.

“Fine. I’ll see you guys after school.”

The five wove their separate ways, each with a determination.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something to note, here, that's going to become important. Most of the weirdest things the boys went through was their imagination. Here, if you know what Kenny's referencing, they incorporated the news of cult activity into play. Only Kenny managed to dig deep enough to find some interesting information. And so it begins.


	14. The Cursed Boys pt. II

Kyle and Stan hunted Kenny down after school, but the kid was nowhere to be found. The redhead had work, Stan had football. The two were forced to stop looking for their moron of a friend, sending a blast of messages to let him know how much of a moron he was, and go about their day.

Kyle was an emotional mess. So Kenny was cursed or something by…something he knew about that he didn’t want to mention. The whiplash that was the past couple months was getting a bit much.

But no. Kenny needed him. Kyle had to hold onto that. Kenny needed Kyle, he couldn’t go through anything else without at least the option to ask for help. And Kenny was already refusing it before thinking. Something was scaring him. What had killed him the first time? And could they even find it again?

Not for the first time, Kyle cussed himself out for forgetting. He shoved books back on the shelves with ferocity. If he could just remember. He’d put up with whatever mental repercussions if only he could think. He’d been there. He’d seen it, almost been involved. And he hadn’t done a damn thing.

Yeah. It was time to really talk to Kenny.

Everything was so quick with them. Tragedy and problems and very few moments to just be. Kyle sighed, resting his head against the shelf with a dull _thunk_.

He hated feeling helpless. He wished it was as easy as throwing on a cape and knowing what to do. If he could be Mysterion, full of grounded ideas and observations, he’d be better. But no, Kyle was feeling. He was fire and fury and emotion. None of which were really needed here. He needed to be smart.

…Smartest kid in school.

Kyle opened his eyes, raising his head from the shelf. Kenny had told him that. That he thought Kyle was the smartest of them all. A warm contentment curled around his heart. Goddamn it, Kenny.

He needed to be the smartest kid now. So, what did he know? Resurrective Immortality. That fit perfectly. For whatever reason, don’t listen to Tweek. Facts, Kyle.

Kenny hurt. He was in pain when he died, he physically died, and then he came back. Something happened along to make it happen. He heard something that he tried to pursue and it killed him.

Was that really all?

Kyle raised his eyes, thinking. That was it. That was all he knew for sure. He needed more than that to work off of. He needed at least to know what kind of information it was Kenny had tried to seek.

Speaking of which. Kyle saw a blond waiting at the front desk, back to him. Ha! So the fuckwit decided to come talk to him after all.

With a shake of his head, Kyle walked up behind him. Kenny seemed to be deep in thought, busy flipping through a book left on Kyle’s desk with one hand.

Kyle wrapped his arms around Kenny’s waist, settling his chin over his shoulder.

“So you came to see me after all,” Kyle’s voice was quiet. He leaned into Kenny, feeling the other melt. Good, he wasn’t near as upset, then. “You worried me.”

“Sorry, Ky.” Kenny matched his tone, sweet and warm. He sighed, leaning his head against Kyle’s.

“You didn’t answer my texts. I thought maybe you got hurt.”

Kenny laid a hand over Kyle’s, leaning on him enough that it was actually kind of hard to stand. “I’m fine, babe. Sorry for scaring you. I was talking to Karen.”

“Thought you might. We didn’t text her.” Karen needed to rest. The less she knew about all of this, the better.

Kenny turned his head to smooch soft curls, and Kyle finally let him go. “I expected you to be mad.”

“I’m not mad, Ken.” Kyle moved around to sit in his chair, Kenny moving the book to sit on his desk. “But we need to talk.”

Kenny sighed, a deep, weary sound that seemed to rattle through his bones. “I can’t, Kyle. Not about that.”

“After everything I’ve seen, don’t I deserve to know now, since I’ll remember?” Kyle arched an eyebrow. “I thought you were happy I knew.”

“Don’t guilt trip me.” Kenny threw a paperclip in his direction. “I know what you’re doing.”

“I’m serious. I’m worried about you, Kenny.”

“Baby, you do not need to worry about me.” Kenny leaned backwards to lie on the desk, arms above his head and reaching for Kyle’s jacket. “Worry about your sexy-ass self. I’m just fine.”

He was trying to derail him. Kyle rolled away from his hands, crossing his legs and arms. “No.”

Kenny blinked up at him, all the innocence of a golden retriever puppy. “No what?”

“You’re not doing this now.”

Kenny tried one more time. “Why, you’re not into my secret librarian fantasies?”

Kyle’s glare turned intense, eyes narrowing dangerously. Kenny offered a smile. Kyle didn’t budge. Finally, the boy sighed, sitting up.

“I can’t, Kyle.” The bitterness that had soaked into Mysterion’s voice was back. He didn’t turn around, instead swinging his legs as he looked over the people reading and searching shelves. “I can’t.”

Okay. Think. Kyle chewed the inside of his cheek, brows furrowed.

“I said I’d tell you about the loop days.”

Kenny turned around, sunlight breaking over his face. His blue eyes were lit, and he turned around to sit cross-legged on the desk, looking all the world like a little kid.

Kyle snorted. He opened his computer, beginning the mass email to library members about the booksale coming up.

“First day, I wasn’t going to tell you.” Kyle began typing, focused on the screen. “You realized something was wrong, you knew I was a day from cracking. So you and I went to the city.”

Kenny was watching him closely, Kyle didn’t have to look to feel it.

“You stole my hat and embarrassed me in the museum with nude portraits.”

Kenny laughed, a loud, ringing noise that made more than one patron look up in annoyance. Kyle just smiled.

“There were days we didn’t do much. But every day I would wake up, feeling scared out of my mind. And I’d go find you, immediately. And you were always there, you always believed me and asked what you could do to help.”

Kyle sent him a smile, brown-green eyes warm. “You told me about your curse one night, as Mysterion. You thought it would help. It didn’t, but I remembered. So I texted you the next day and asked you to sneak in my bedroom.”

“Niiice.” Kenny drawled. “I’m pretty pro at it, now.”

Kyle rolled his eyes. “Anyway. I was worried about you.”

“Me?” Kenny’s smile dissolved into surprise.

“When you told me, the night previous, you almost broke down.” Kyle gently drew the parallels between that night and last. “You were angry, you were scared. And I didn’t know what to do with that information. I felt helpless. I’d been by you this whole time and I couldn’t do anything. I let you down.”

“Kyle.” Kenny breathed, reaching for his hand. Kyle let him take it.

“You didn’t want to talk. So we went out, instead. We got into a slight scuffle with Craig-”

“What?” Kenny laughed, but Kyle wanted to focus on something else.

“And then I broke down out on the sidewalk.” That wiped the smile from Kenny’s face, turning him concerned in a blink. Kyle’s heart warmed. “And you comforted me, even though you had it worse. So, I asked you how you didn’t hate me after all you went through.”

“Oh, Kyle.” Kenny’s hand actually pressed against his heart. “Fuck, dude, no.”

“You said you never did.”

“Of course I didn’t.” Kenny slid over to reach Kyle better, cupping his cheeks. “In the end, it wasn’t your fault.”

“That’s exactly what you told me.” Kyle caught one of his hands, pressing his fingers to his lips. The gesture felt weirder than it looked on tv, but the red covering Kenny’s face was very much worth it. “So I apologized for everything I put you through, and told you I missed you.”

“I missed you too.” Kenny was enamored. He was nearly glowing, red-faced and eyes sparkling. “God, Kyle, you’re so gay.”

“And then I kissed you.”

Kenny didn’t say anything. He just watched, eyes intense. He wanted details. Kyle wasn’t giving them to him, especially in a damn library.

“I kissed you because I knew you wouldn’t remember,” Kyle admitted. “Because I’d spent so long wanting to.”

“Dude, if you had kissed me back in 4th grade, I would have been like, okay. Sure.” Kenny’s face was even redder, up to his ears. It was horribly endearing.

“You weren’t even dating guys back then.”

“Look, I had the realization in middle school that gender was a dumb way for me to judge partners. I just like boobs a lot as a kid. Who didn’t?”

Kyle raised an eyebrow.

“Aside from you, Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes-Sexually-Repressed.”

“Dude, fuck off.”

Kenny tsked his tongue. “Anyway, for you, I would have gladly had a sexual awakening.”

“Please don’t ever say that again.”

“You’re the one who had the hots for me enough to get smoochin’.” Kenny grinned as he brought out the drawl that got on Kyle’s nerves. “Damn. Two years nothin’, then you shove me against the school wall and try to suffocate me with your tongue.”

“I have the authority to throw you the fuck out,” Kyle said, own face flaming. Kenny was referencing the kiss he’d gotten once he came back from offing himself. “And you just killed yourself for me, what was I supposed to give you a handshake?”

“I would have expected that more,” Kenny laughed, face still pink. “I didn’t know you were even into guys, man.”

“That’s just it, I don’t think I am.” Kyle snipped awkwardly. “I think I’m just into you.”

Kenny’s blush was back with a vengeance. He gaped, eyes flitting between Kyle’s.

“Oh,” He managed, tongue-tied.

Kyle shrugged, face still beet red as he finished up the email. “I’m going to be honest with you. Don’t laugh at me. Or get angry.”

“Okay.”

“Swear you won’t,” Kyle demanded like a child.

“I won’t.”

He sighed. “I stopped talking to you because of problems with myself.”

Kenny raised an eyebrow, not nearly as impressive as Kyle, but still a good attempt.

“I liked you. And it just…just hit me one day, after thinking I was either straight or maybe asexual, whatever. That the only person I was ever really into, and more than just a crush, was you.” Kenny was leaning forward, like Kyle was some sort of show playing out on stage. Kyle didn’t look at him. “And I didn’t know what to do with that. High School made it easy to drift apart, you and I had such different schedules. If you don’t make an effort, you just drift, so….I drifted. Because I didn’t know how to deal with how I felt. I let you down because I was scared.”

“Oh my _god_ , Kyle.” Kenny looked like he might combust with delight. “You were hot for me." He chewed his bottom lip, the action distracting even in the corner of Kyle's eyes. "I want to say, right now, I was totally into that cute butt of yours by Freshman year. I would have said yes sooo fucking fast.”

“Sucks I was a coward, then.” Kyle scoffed, finally looking up. He had even been jealous of watching Kenny flirt, and that had scared him so badly he didn’t want to even see the blond. That was a little too much to admit to right now. This was fine. Particularly with Kenny looking at him like he was the moon.

“I fucking love you, you dork.” Kenny laughed, reaching to try and pull Kyle into a hug. They managed somehow, with Kyle standing out of his chair. “Aw, Ky. I wish you told me, babe. I would have been able to keep you from pining.” Kyle snorted at the asshat.

“It ended up fine,” Kyle said, pressing a kiss to Kenny’s cheek. “I’ve got you now.”

“Mmhm.” Kenny’s hand was back in his hair, brushing through experience. “You sure do.”

Kyle was never one to let things stay dormant. He showed his metaphorical hand: back to the point. 

“Kenny, I need you to let me help you.”

Kenny’s fingers froze, and he seemed to even stop breathing. Kyle pushed onward.

“Whatever this is, I will be careful.” Kyle promised him, solemnly, holding his gaze. “But I want to help you. Let me. I love you too much to see you keep hurting, Ken. Let’s at least round up the guys and try to find out _why_.”

Kenny swallowed. “I don’t…” He couldn’t seem to find the right words. Kyle waited before gently shoving again.

“I know you’re scared of something. And that’s okay. You aren’t alone anymore, Kenny, you don’t have to face this by yourself.” Kyle rested his hand on one of Kenny’s thighs, and the blond just about jumped out of his skin. Kyle didn't so much as shift, watching Kenny all the more closely. He had Kyle, and he would never stop looking for an answer and a cure to what Kenny had endured so far alone. “Do you really think whatever this is will just leave us alone because you keep it secret?”

A hit. Kenny’s jaw locked, but something wavered in his eyes. Kyle bit his tongue and waited. Let Kenny think this through.

The taller boy licked his lips, looking like he was trying to read Kyle's mind. He finally spoke, resignedly. “When do we meet up, again?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kyle is a dirty cheater in the best way possible.


	15. Another meeting

The emergency meeting took place there at the library. Not sitting at a table like normal people, but sitting in the far corner by all the Shakespeare texts, since, in Kyle’s observation, “No one would ever overhear them if no one’s ever over there”

The boys sat in a circle like kindergarteners, as Kenny spoke at last.

“Here’s basically what happened,” He said wearily, as Tweek, Stan, and Kyle all leaned forward. “It was me, Stan, Cartman, Bradley, and Kyle, Timmy, too. We were all playing superheroes, it wasn’t a big deal. We just ran around town, were shitty little brats, same old, same old.”

Kenny took a breath. “We kept hearing about cult activity. No one thought too much of it, I didn’t, even, and we started playing with the idea, making it the bad guy of the day.”

“What cult?” Kyle asked, unable to help himself.

Kenny shrugged. “Cthulhu.”

“Cthulhu?!” Kyle was shushed by Tweek.

“Yeah. So we all had this big thing about Cthulhu coming back, Cartman trying to take over the world with it or something- he wasn’t playing by the rules- and it was fine. Until I heard something. The Goth kids were all for a cult around, trying to fit in with it and be cool. Whatever. But a phrase was said that stuck with me. Something I couldn’t forget.”

All four boys were leaning in, now, spectators of the show as Kenny refused to look any of them in the eyes.

“That is not dead which can eternal lie, And with strange aeons even death may die.”

Kyle repeated after him. “That is not dead which can eternal lie, And with strange aeons even death may die.”

Kenny nodded, still staring out one of the big, dusty windows.

“Why did you take so long to tell us?” Stan asked, bewildered. “You could have said this earlier.”

“There’s more,” Kenny said glumly. “I tracked down one of the leaders through the Goth Kids. I just wanted to know what it meant. And then everyone showed up, in stupid superhero costumes, just in time to see me stabbed to death.”

Kyle heard Tweek inhale shakily. He never took his eyes off Kenny, staring directly at his gaunt face.

“What are you scared of, Ken?” Kyle’s voice was so gentle it made the other three boys look at him, all except who he actually wanted to look at him.

“I’m scared of what it might mean.” Kenny grit his teeth. “If Tweek’s right, if I can...be...shadowy, or whatever? What if it means I’m not human. If I’m something else?”

“Cthulhu is a god-monster, right?” Stan asked.

“He’s an Elder God,” Craig spoke up unexpectedly. “From H.P. Lovecraft.” Kyle raised his eyebrows, and the tall boy shrugged. “What? I went through a phase.” 

“My parents apparently attended some of the meetings while pregnant with me,” Kenny mentioned. “But I haven’t looked into it since. I thought about it, but things came up to keep me away, and I thought…maybe it…wasn’t meant to be or something.”

Kyle chewed his lip thoughtfully.

“What do you think the saying means?” Stan asked Kenny as Tweek went onto his phone.

“I don’t know,” He admitted.

“Well, at the base, it means something that can be in eternal slumber is not able to die, and with years and years passing, even death can be conquered.” Kyle spoke carefully. “So. Something immortal causing the conquering of death.” Kenny’s eyes finally locked on him. Mysterion was there again, through those mosaic blue eyes.

“Death can be conquered,” Stan breathed. “So is that where Kenny comes in? You’ve pretty much fucked death up, bro.”

“Yeah.” Kenny’s voice was barely audible.

“So I found the old cult leader,” Tweek commented, gaining everyone’s immediate attention.

“And?” Kyle demanded.

“He’s not a cult leader anymore.” Tweek looked up, making a face. “He’s doing porn. Tentacle fetishes.”

All boys were quiet.

“I can’t even laugh at that,” Stan commented in bewilderment.

“So it looks like that branch is dissipated.” Tweek sighed.

“Let me look,” Kyle asked, and Tweek led him to the website. He immediately searched stupid blogs on the subject as the boys talked.

“It’s okay, Kenny.” Stan soothed, soft brown eyes sweet. “We’ll get some answers, and whatever they are, we got your back.”

Kenny didn’t say anything, Kyle could feel the discomfort floating off him as he tried locating one of the cults in Colorado. Arizona didn't help him too much. 

“I used to have a book about that stuff,” Craig offered. “If you want it.”

“I don’t know,” Kenny leaned back against the bookshelf, “I get…I spent too long away from trying to look at this. It makes me feel weird now.”

Tweek grunted sympathetically, just as Kyle came across what he was looking for.

“Colby Sullivan,” Kyle said, smirking at his own cleverness. “Used to be part of the cult seventeen years ago when he was 18. He writes blogs about what it was like.”

“What’s he say?” Stan demanded.

“He lives less than a half hour from here, first of all,” Kyle mentioned as Tweek leaned to look. “And secondly he writes like he’s on crack.”

Tweek gave Kyle a look, but pressed his lips together. The guy had long brown hair, large black-brown eyes that looked like he never blinked. Or slept.

“What, you want to talk to that guy?” Stan asked.

“He’s right here,” Kyle defended. “I say we meet up somewhere in his town and talk with him.

“You want to talk to an old cult member,” Craig deadpanned.

“I want answers,” Kyle said firmly.

“Absolutely not.” Unsurprisingly, Kenny was not on board. He crossed his arms, meeting Kyle’s glare with his own.

“I think it’s a great idea,” Tweek defended Kyle. “We have someone who was there. That’s our best bet.”

“So you’re going to let Kyle go meet a cult member for coffee in case he knows something?” Stan asked incredulously.

“No.” The answer surprised three of the five. Tweek raised his chin, mismatched eyes sparking. “I’ll meet with him. He’ll believe I’m crazy and into cult shit, there’s no way he’d believe someone like Kyle.”

“What?” Kyle asked, but Craig spoke over him.

“Absolutely not.” He echoed Kenny, making Kyle jump to Tweek’s defense.

“I say we have Tweek contact him and meet up,” Kyle narrowed his eyes. “But the rest of us will already be there. Backup. Just in case.”

Craig looked like he was struggling. “…No.”

“Not your choice, Craig.” Tweek’s twitching was coming back again with a vengeance. “If it’s just me and Kyle, that’ll be it.”

“Yeah, no.” Kenny met Kyle’s eyes with ferocity. “It’s my life, Kyle.”

“I’m fine with that, Tweek.” Kyle replied, not flinching from the gaze. “Tomorrow works for me.”

“Fine.” Tweek took out his phone again. “I’ll contact him.”

Craig grabbed Tweek’s hand, which made the blond gape at him. The dark-haired boy blushed, dark, looking more vulnerable than Kyle had ever seen him.

“Sweetheart-” Craig said softly, making Kyle jerk his gaze away.

“Hey, what about me?” Stan sputtered. “I’m going with Kyle and Tweek. I don’t know how much I can help, but I’m not letting you two go alone.”

“Anyone is fine to show up,” Kyle snipped. “You’re welcome, Stan.”

“You’re being ridiculous, Kyle.” Kenny said. “Slow down. Let’s talk about this.”

“Should I leave so you guys can go into different corners and talk?” Stan rolled his eyes.

“Kenny…” Kyle hand reached, brushing his cheek. He could feel Kenny’s jaw clench. “It’s just a talk. Take a breath. You’ll be there, you won’t let things get out of hand.”

Kenny swallowed. “Who said I was going?”

Kyle smirked, tilting his head. “What, you’re letting me go alone?”

Craig and Tweek were arguing quietly, Stan laying back against the library floor with a long-suffering look on his face.

"-Being weird about this?" Kyle heard Tweek hiss behind them. 

“No.” Kenny resigned himself. He reached for Kyle’s hand, pressing his lips against the fingers in a much smoother motion than Kyle had previously. He moved to kiss his wrist next, and would have went all the way up his arm if Kyle hadn’t snorted and shoved him off.

“Cool it, Gomez,” Kyle teased. “So you’re going. That’s just about all of us. Craig?”

Craig was quiet, and looked irritated. Tweek looked pissed. “Yes.”

“Good.” Kyle looked around, watching as Tweek stood, pointedly not looking at his boyfriend.

“I’ll text you and let you know when to leave,” He told the crew before flaunting out off the library. Craig watched him go, unhappily.

Kenny was not comfortable. Kyle grabbed a handful of his new coat and yanked. “One second, guys.” He used a cover, mostly to make Kenny happy because he knew the other two could tell this was not really unanimous.

“I’m freaking out,” Kenny admitted immediately out of earshot, which worried Kyle immensely.

“I know.” Kyle pulled Kenny behind another bookshelf and brought him into a hug. “It’s okay. We’re all going to be fine.”

“You don’t know that,” Kenny said weakly. “We’re delving into cults about monsters and gods. If anyone gets hurt, this is on me. If you got hurt, Kyle…” Warm arms wrapped around him, Kenny breathed into red curls. “I can’t let anything happen to you.”

“You won’t,” Kyle soothed. “It’s just a talk with a kid who’s not even thirty yet. Nothing big. We’ll be in a public place.”

“We were in a public place with Karen, too.”

Kyle closed his mouth. Fuck.

“Yes, but it won’t be like that,” Kyle squeezed Kenny tightly, the other beginning to melt against him. “It’s okay.”

“Mm.” Kenny didn’t seem convinced, but Kyle kept pushing.

“We’ve got your back,” Kyle reminded him. “And we’ve got each other’s. You’ll be there, we’ll be watching.”

“Okay.” Kenny’s hands ran up and down Kyle’s back. “Okay. Think Craig’s mad, though.”

“He’s not happy, but Tweek’s the one who’s pissed,” Kyle noted. “I don’t think he likes people treating him with kid gloves.”

“Can’t blame the guy,” Kenny sighed. “I get Craig, though. This isn’t fun.”

“Yeah, you and Craig are two tall freaks who don’t have to babysit your boyfriends,” Kyle kissed his cheek before releasing him. “So don’t try.”

Kenny looked reproachful, but didn't argue.

Kyle took it. He looked Kenny over, marveling at the kid and who he'd become for just a moment. Maturity was, admittedly, something he hadn't expected from Kenny when they were kids. Even if it was kind of annoying to be looked after all the time. Kyle then he turned on his heel back to where Stan and Craig were standing, pointing out something on the shelves. 

"Come on," Kyle invited them. "Let's go get food or something, I didn't eat much lunch." 

Stan gladly hopped past him and over to Kenny, talking about where to go far more loudly than appropriate in a library. Kyle almost whirled around to shush them, but something in Craig's demeanor kept him. Craig looked angry at him. 

"Don't let Tweek get hurt for this," The taller boy struggled. His face was red, whether from anger or embarrassment, Kyle wasn't sure. Maybe the latter, Craig was usually much more upfront when pissed off. 

"I'm not volunteering Tweek for anything," Kyle pointed out, eyes narrowing. "I'm not his mom. If he wants to help, he can and I'll look after him best I can because he's my friend. That's all I can do." It wasn't his job to tell Tweek what he could or couldn't do. The kid was way more bold than he used to be, probably in no small part due to the giant in front of him. 

Craig looked like he was deciding what to do. In the end, he didn't even flip Kyle off, just shouldered past him with a sigh that sounded too sad to come from someone with such a major bitchface.


	16. Gregg

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I released two chapters within 24 hours of each other, due to the fact I didn't like them smushed together but felt it wasn't fair to have so little content out. So...have another?

The four boys followed Tweek at a distance. Sullivan had agreed, rather cheerfully, to talk to Tweek. The blond hadn’t so much as flinched when he told the boys all of this, though Craig looked distressed the entire time.

All five wormed their way out of their respective responsibilities, quoting a group project on Kyle’s end, and it was to the nearest down and down main street they went.

Stan and Kenny were getting rowdy, laughing at various shops and trying to look casual as Kyle and Craig led the way, a full block behind Tweek.

“You doing okay, Craig?” Kyle suddenly asked, as the boy walked with hands shoved in his pockets.

“Do you ever worry about Kenny?” Craig muttered, eyes fixed ahead.

“All the time,” Kyle answered, bewildered.

“Right. Of course,” Craig sighed, rubbing his eyes. “The…death. Forget it, asshole, it was a stupid question.”

Kyle’s interest was piqued. “What did you mean?” He asked, keeping his voice low.

Craig glared, which was more or less his default expression, so it didn’t much bother the redhead. “It’s-” He trailed off, seeming to bite his tongue.

“Tweek seems okay with all of this,” Kyle prodded. That got him.

“That’s the problem.” Craig’s words came tumbling out. “Tweek acts. He’s brave. I used to have to help him move, motivate him to do more than panic. Now he’s strong, and acts on everything immediately, and now I just…”

Kyle didn’t speak. They continued walking, watching Tweek about a block ahead.

“Do I help contain him,” Craig murmured, “Or do I just…let him go?”

Damn near poetic. And Kyle didn’t really have an answer to that. He kind of understood. When Tweek took this long to be confident, he could see how Craig would second guess any attempt to hold him back.

“That’s really selfless of you, Craig.” Kyle told him gently.

Craig physically looked surprised, glancing over at the shorter boy and jerking his head back away. He said nothing in response, just watched Tweek enter the coffee shop.

“Alright. Let’s go.”

By the time the boys got into the shop, Tweek was sitting by himself with a cup of what looked like hot chocolate, looking unbothered to the point of nearly cool. Craig smiled, earning an elbow from Kyle to redirect his attention.

“Stan, take this thing and go sit. Kenny, come help me with drinks. What do you guys want?” Kyle took orders, Kenny hovering at his elbow. The boy brushed up against them as they walked to the barista and ordered.

Kyle felt something brush his ass, and shoved Kenny’s hands away without looking. “Off.”

“Don’t look behind you,” Kenny murmured, moving to kiss behind his ear. “The guy showed up.”

“And you’re being all touchy because?” 

“Hey, can’t blame me just cause I can’t keep my hands off you.”

Kyle looked at him. Yep. His smile wasn’t near reaching his eyes. In fact, he looked a little frenzied. Kenny was freaking out.

“Don’t worry, Ken.” Kyle murmured, “We’re all fine. This is fine.”

“It’s going too fast, I can’t prepare,” Kenny’s lecherous demeanor faded into something exhausted. “Kyle, I don’t know about this.”

“It’s okay. We’re just listening,” Kyle soothed as the barista called his name. “Once we get information, we’ll discuss what to do from here. It’s okay, Ken.”

Kenny sighed, but picked up the drinks without argument. They went back to sit at the table, on the other side of the room. Craig had his phone out, which was connected to the one in Tweek’s pocket right now. They sat leaning over the table, listening.

“Just need something to…belong to, I guess.” The two brunet boys were listening to Tweek sound terribly solemn. “I always loved Lovecraft’s work, you know? There’s something so beautiful about inevitability. That something else has control.”

“That’s the beauty of Cthulhu,” Presumably Sullivan replied. A glance across the room showed him looking very sympathetic, the twenty-something smiling at Tweek kindly. “I get it, trust me. I ran away from home to join this when I was a kid.”

“What was it like?” Tweek asked, from under long eyelashes.

“Nice. We had rituals and meetings and everyone fell into a place. It was comfortable, belonging. It was home.” Colby sighed. “I didn’t get home back where I came from. I was a disappointment. I dropped out of school, not that they cared. Too busy running the crackhouse. Here, I was encouraged. No one used drugs. I didn’t have to be anything, just celebrate our god and what life we lived. That was it.” He leaned back against his chair, smiling crookedly. “What kind of place do you come from?”

“Abusive boyfriend,” Tweek said, and Craig choked violently on his sugary drink. Kenny helpfully thunked him on the back.

“Aw, man.” Colby visibly winced. “Shit. What…like physical? Abusive…like…sexual?”

“All,” Tweek’s voice held so much weight, so much grief. Craig was openly staring across the room, eyes large and lips parted. “I guess. He was…he gets drunk. When he’s not, he’s…he’s so sweet.”

“Fuck that,” Colby’s voice softened. “Tweek. You deserve more.”

“I know,” Tweek said miserably. Kyle was flabbergasted. When had he learned to act like this? “I mean, I know. It’s just…it’s harder to believe, you know?”

“I know.” Colby moved, the nearly thirty-year-old putting his hand over Tweek’s. Kyle cringed and Craig started to stand up. Kenny grabbed Craig by the sleeve, Stan grabbing his other one. All four boys looked fairly ill, but Tweek was making dismissing gestures under the table and hadn’t used the codeword yet. “What about…your parents?”

“They weren’t…me liking guys wasn’t-”

“You don’t have to talk about it anymore,” Colby said gently. “I’m sorry, Tweek. But,”

The man smiled, brushing back his long hair. “We’re trying to start the cult back up. I’m helping. We have a great new leader, and it’s a wonderful group of people. It’s small, compared to what we used to be, but I think you really should come see this. At least talk to Gregg.”

“Gregg?” Tweek’s Oscar performance cracked a little at the same name as his real boyfriend, but he recovered quickly. “I mean…I don’t have a lot to…I never finished school, so I’m not…”

“Don’t worry about a thing, Tweek.” Colby said, squeezing his hand. “Just trust me. Let me take care of you.”

Craig looked like murder. For the softhearted, geeky, squishy little brat he was on the inside, there was one hot button he held. And Colby was slamming his fist on it.

“I- I guess.” Tweek seemed shy, retracting his hand. Again, Kyle was shocked that he hadn’t even so much as flinched. The kid needed to become an actor. Full stop. “Are you sure it’s okay for me to just show up?”

“Yeah!” Sullivan beamed. “You’ll be with me. It’s cool, dude.”

“Okay.” Tweek smiled, shyly stuffing his hands in his hoodie pocket. “Thanks, Colby.”

“No problem, Sweetheart.”

Kyle glanced at Craig, who was still being held by the two other boys.

“Breathe, Craig.” Kyle murmured. The boy was shaking, looking horrified and enraged all at once. “Tweek has this. He’s got this guy. He ought to be some badass super-spy or some shit, look at him.”

“I’m going to kill him,” Craig croaked. “I’m…I’m-”

“It’s okay,” Kyle was saying that a lot today. He met eyes with Kenny, who looked like he was debating letting Craig go. “Look how brave he is. He’s come so far, Craig, you’ve helped him so much.”

There. Craig softened slightly, the rigidity of his shoulders easing. He still looked ready for murder, and if Tweek wasn’t clearly having the upper hand with this, Kyle would be next in line for defense.

Not that Tweek actually needed it, but still. This guy was freaky as all fuck. He made Kyle’s skin crawl.

“Let me make a phone call, Tweek,” Colby told him, standing. “I’ll be right back, okay?”

“Okay.” Tweek smiled shyly, watching as Colby stepped outside. He was quiet for a moment, and didn’t look over at the table that was blatantly staring at him. His smile dropped, and he took a sip of his drink.

“Craig?” He said, and the boy plopped back down, staring down at the phone.

“Yeah?” He whispered, before realizing Tweek couldn’t hear him. “Yeah?” He said again louder.

“I love you.” Tweek’s voice didn’t waver at all. His eyes flicked, for a moment, where his boyfriend was sitting, cool and collected. “I love you so much, Craig.”

Stan and Kyle both tried to look like they were focused on other things. Kenny just about burst into sunshine.

“I love you too, sweetheart.” Craig cradled his phone, expression soft. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Tweek’s voice was warm. “I’ll come over there and kick your ass.”

“Yeah.” Craig was smiling, ear to ear. “Okay.”

Kyle’s ears burned. He wasn’t sure why having to overhear this made just about every soft moment he ever had with Kenny flash over his mind. Made him ache for him. Stan looked just as red, and he was the romantic.

Kenny’s hand trailed over Kyle’s forearm.

Colby was back then, shattering whatever spell the two boys had placed on everyone. Tweek’s collected demeanor shifted back into meek as he smiled up at him.

“Good news, cutie,” Sullivan said with a grin. “Gregg’s ready for ya.”


	17. The abusive boyfriend

They hadn’t planned to move this quickly. Craig locked eyes with Kyle, and his grey eyes held something like fear. Colby was talking about taking Tweek into the car with him. Kyle did not like this guy. He was a little too friendly to someone over ten years younger than him, bordering on flirtatious, trying to take someone he thought was broken and scared and turn him to the cult. Fucking creepy.

“What do we do?” Stan asked, panicked. Kenny’s face was flat, blue eyes nearly glowing dangerously.

“We can’t let him go alone,” Craig hissed, eyes locked on his boyfriend. “We need to move.”

Tweek was standing, glancing briefly at the table across the room.

“Okay,” Kenny said, voice level. “Follow us, you’re my group and we’re shitheads, got it?”

“What?” Stan said, as Kyle exhaled.

“I’m going to go be an abusive boyfriend,” Kenny said firmly. He stood, patting Craig on the shoulder. “We all know you wouldn’t be able to pull it off, dude. Just look scary and don’t say anything. Let’s move.”

Kyle stood, seemingly the only other person who wasn’t confused by this. Kenny started towards the door, followed closely by his boyfriend. Craig stumbled after them, Stan a step behind.

Tweek had his hands in his hoodie, looking uncomfortable for the first time. Kenny started up behind the two, squaring his shoulders.

“Be careful, Ken,” Kyle murmured, quickening his steps to keep up with Kenny’s long legs.

“Don’t worry, Ky,” Kenny said back, calmly. “I can pull off abusive, manipulative bastard.”

At this point they were too close for Kyle to respond. Stan jogged up behind him, he could hear him muttering in worry.

“Hey, Tweeky,” Kenny pulled on the flirt, dialed up to ten and with a twanging accent and slurred words that made Kyle’s skin crawl. “You didn’t text me back, babe. I told you about this." He sauntered forward, smarmy smile in place. "Who’s your friend?”

Both Colby and Tweek turned, surprise flitting over Tweek’s face before a flash of determination sparked.

“Kenny.” Tweek fidgeted.

“Hi.” Colby smiled, eyes narrowing. “I’m Colby.”

“Uh huh.” Kenny ignored him, going to drape himself over Tweek. “We were going to go see a movie, baby. Why’d you bail?”

“I’ve been…I was just…”

“Your name is Kenny, right?” Colby moved to shake his hand, which Kenny did half-heartedly. “Are you…”

“Tweek’s boyfriend, yeeep.” Kenny drawled. “These are the guys. Kyle, Craig, Stan. And this is my baby.”

Colby nodded. Kyle responded in kind, without smiling. Stan was grabbing his sleeve, Kyle could feel his fear. He couldn’t see Craig.

“What are we talking about?” Kenny asked, leaning heavily on the smaller blond. 

“Oh, I was just talking to Tweek about a desk I had for sale,” Colby said cheerfully. “I’ll send you pictures at your email, kiddo. You guys enjoy your movie, okay?” He sent Tweek another smile, walking off a little too quickly.

Tweek looked pissed. The group began walking in the other direction, some a little reluctantly, and Tweek finally elbowed Kenny in the stomach.

“I fucking had that!” He said as Kenny coughed, Kyle reaching out to steady his boyfriend. “Ihadit! We could have found out where thecult is, easy!”

“He was way too touchy with you,” Kenny defended. “Craig just about had an aneurysm.”

“You couldhave followed!” Tweek snapped. “Iwasfine! _Ack_!” He drew back, gritting his teeth.

Craig stepped forward, wringing his hands.

Tweek glared at him, just a moment. Craig seemed to understand even if no one else did and stepped into his side, both of them reaching to hold hands. 

“We didn’t plan too far ahead,” Stan worried. “God, that guy was creepy.”

“As fuck,” Kyle agreed. “But I think it’s fine, Tweek. Did you listen to the table comment?”

“Him selling a table? Yeah,” Tweek sighed, leaning into Craig’s side. “What about it?”

“I think he’s going to send you the address,” Kyle noted. “To whatever email you used to talk to him.”

Tweek grunted, taking out his phone.

“I could have been the abusive boyfriend,” Craig muttered under his breath.

“No one that sees how you look at Tweekers is going to think you’re anything but soft for him,” Kenny teased in reply. “On that note, Tweeks, incredible performance!”

Tweek flushed, looking flattered. “Thanks.”

“You took me by surprise,” Kyle agreed. “He bought it immediately.”

“Creep,” Stan added to Craig’s approval, as the behemoth leaned way down to kiss the blond’s hair. Tweek seemed to be delighted with the attention.

“Good job, sweetheart,” The teenager said, just softly enough that Kyle thought maybe he wasn’t supposed to hear it.

“So what, should we actually go see a movie?” Stan asked, shoving his hands in his pockets. “What now?”

“Got the address,” Tweek commented easily. The boys crowded around as Tweek opened the email. “It’s a…church, I think?”

“Church. Great,” Stan commented. “What denomination?”

Kenny’s smile was becoming fixed, and Kyle sided up to him. He wrapped an arm around the taller boy, pulling him close. 

“So, should we go see if Gregg is there?” Kyle asked, voice firm. This was it. This was when they got answers.

“Colby said if I could get away, that’d be fine,” Tweek answered, scrolling through the message.

In almost horror-movie precision, the four other boys looked over at Kenny.

The boy licked his lips, eyes flitting over them.

“I want to go by myself,” He said, and all four were immediately in an uproar.

“What the fuck gives you the right and not us?” Craig said, flipping the blond off. “If I’ve come this far-”

“What was all that about my capabilities a second ago you fucking-” Tweek said at the same time.

“Kenny, no fucking way, who knows what these guys are like, Colby’s creepy enough, no _way_ -”

And Kyle, fingers digging into Kenny’s too-thin sides, staring up with fire in his eyes.

“I am _not_ leaving you.” Kyle didn’t curse, didn’t scream, just pressed himself up against Kenny and stared him down. “Not a chance.”

Kenny watched him, beautiful eyes soft, and then leaned down and kissed him. Right in front of their friends, who were still calling Kenny all kinds of things or expressing worry (in Stan’s case, a little of both).

Kenny more or less dipped Kyle back, hand at his waist and behind his neck and solidly kissed as the infuriation died out to be replaced by complaints Kyle wasn’t exactly hearing at the moment.

He broke the kiss to stare down, wrapped around Kyle still, and with solemn, solemn eyes.

“The last time I tried this, I was killed,” He said, hands sliding down Kyle’s sides. “I won’t let you get hurt. You almost...You could've been hurt at the station. I won’t…none of you need to get hurt on my account,” Kenny said, glancing up at the trio like he just remembered they were there.

"Isn't that our choice?" Kyle demanded fiercely. 

“In the end, I don’t really need answers, guys,” Kenny gently let go of Kyle, smoothing his curls off his forehead. “Look, it’s…if I survived this long alone, I’ll be okay. You know. Honestly, years ago, that’s more than I ever hoped for.”

Kyle’s eyes softened, though his lips pressed together. That was terribly honest of him. Kenny didn’t like to be this open, he knew. He bit his tongue, struggling to decide what to say. 

“That’s pretty selfish.”

All four boys looked to Craig, everyone but Tweek with varying expressions of bewilderment.

Craig straightened to his full, impressive height. “So you’re telling me you’re walking away. You’re going to let Kyle watch you die repeatedly, just because you can bear it?”

Kenny full-body flinched, and Kyle snapped.

“Fuck off, Craig,” The redhead snarled. “You don’t-”

“You didn’t see him while you were gone,” Craig spoke over him flatly, eyes locked on Kenny. "He was a nervous wreck. Do you have any idea what it does to people to watch others die? You’re going to break him one day.”

“This is none of your fucking business,” Kyle said shakily.

“So you’re okay with that. You held your own boyfriend in your arms in the gas station and it doesn’t bother you?” Craig held his gaze. Kyle matched him.

“I’ll still go alone,” Kenny said quietly.

“No.” Kyle whirled around to him, and Kenny delicately caught his face in his hands.

“Last time I was in this position, I was killed.” He ran his thumbs over Kyle’s cheeks, gently squishing his face. “I’m serious.”

“I’ll go with you,” Craig volunteered. “If you need someone along.”

“Excuse me,” Tweek lifted his chin. “Let’s just stick to the first plan.”

“Yeah, let’s just show up,” Stan piped up, brows eyes worried. “Splitting up seems like a bad idea.”

Kyle batted Kenny’s hands away.

“If you’re going, I’m going,” The redhead said. “You can’t keep me behind.”

Kenny’s eyes sparked at the challenge, but his gaze shifted to Craig. He set his jaw.

“Fine.” Everything in Kenny’s body, expression, and voice said he hated this decision. Without looking, his hand grabbed Kyle’s wrist and tightened. “Let’s go.”

\--

The church wasn’t actually a church, or wasn’t anymore. It was an old wooden building, rather smaller than Kyle expected. The troupe more or less walked in the front door, Kenny leading the way.

Three figures glanced up from a long table in the middle of pews, one of them Colby. The boy stood, startled, and focused on Tweek.

“Hey, Tweek,” His eyes flit back to the rest of the boys. “What-”

“I need answers.” Kenny’s voice was sharp, and he bypassed any plans to begin speaking. “You’re the last remnants of the Cult of Cthulhu. Which one of you is Gregg?”

One of the other men stood, dark hair past his shoulders. All he needed was a goatee and he’d be the perfect image of a Disney villain. As it was, Kyle felt like they just looked like typical stoners, though Gregg was clearly the oldest by twenty or so years.

“And who are you?” The man asked, as the blond man at the table remained sitting.

“That’s Tweek’s boyfriend.” Colby muttered, and Kenny lifted his chin.

“That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange aeons even death may die,” Mysterion flashed behind his eyes as Kenny spoke.

Now the blond man was standing as well.

“Where did you hear that?” Gregg demanded.

“My name is Ken McCormick,” Kenny replied, Kyle and Craig standing next to him and Tweek and Stan on either side. “I’m cursed, and your cult has something to do with it. We’ve been trying to find you for years.”

Not entirely true, Kyle thought. On his part, anyhow.

Gregg was watching closely.

“Come sit, boy.” The man spoke like a southern Baptist preacher, booming and benevolent. “Take a pew. Your friends can sit, too. Let’s chat.”

Kenny didn’t sit.

“So tell me again why you boys are actually here?” The man asked genially.

“I heard that phrase back when I was ten years old.” Kenny was in full Mysterion mode now, shifting into the growly voice on some words. Kyle didn’t move from his position, brushing arms with the boy. “I need to know what it means.”

“Why do you care?” Gregg asked, sitting on the table. “Why does that resonate with you?”

Kyle narrowed his eyes. “You already think you know, don’t you?”

Gregg’s eyes fixed on the redhead. He seemed to be sizing him up.

“I might ask your friends to leave, Ken,” He told the boy. “But you’re free to talk.”

Kyle grabbed Kenny’s arm.

“Tell me what it means,” Kenny repeated.

“Tell me why you care.”

“I’m not fucking around!” Kenny snarled, and Kyle felt Stan flinch next to him. “I’ve come too far and endured too much at this point. I want answers!”

“Colby, I want to ask you something,” Gregg looked towards his companion. “Do you remember, way back when, when we were thinking about relocating to the little mountain town down south? What we were told about how rituals used to be?”

Colby looked just as confused as the boys did, and Gregg patted him on the shoulder and stood.

“Ken, tell me a little more about yourself.” Gregg asked instead. “Just tell me. Why are you here?”

“TELL ME WHAT IT MEANS!” Kenny’s voice seemed to thunder, echo off the walls, vaulted ceilings, the dim lights, the earth itself.

Gregg didn’t look at all bothered. He grinned, wildly.

“Unbelievable.” He watched Kenny closely. “Alright, kid. Way back when, we used to have sacrifices. Innocent blood, pure. Something that didn’t have the chance to sin in life.”

“You killed children?” Kyle heard Tweek squeak.

“They did sacrifice children, yes.” Gregg affirmed. “It was something that happened once in a century. Wake the great slumbering god, give him his offering to let him sleep in peace. The cult has changed over the years but that is what it was. What it used to be. And we sacrificed one child per century, but something happened once in a while. Something happened to you.”

Kyle was starting to put the story together in his mind already.

“The child we chose was still unborn, and wasn’t one of our own.” Gregg explained. “So we thought it was safe. None of our children had to be sacrificed. We were all fathers and mothers, after all. All brothers and sisters. Family. Why would we kill one of our own babies? But during one of the pre-rituals, something went wrong.”

He smiled, leaning back against a pew. “Ken, what makes you different from other people? What have you been gifted with?”

“Gifted?” Kenny went rigid. “It’s a curse!”

“Depends on how you view the gift,” Gregg countered.

“I die.” Kenny was shaking. “I die and it fucking hurts and everything on the planet seems to want to scrape me off the surface.”

“Of course it does!” Gregg said, as Colby and the blond gaped. “You’re, at the very definition, a monster. Your existence denies reality.”

All boys were quiet.

“I’m sorry, what?” Stan finally piped up.

“Do you know what an Eldritch Horror is, Ken?” Gregg asked.

“It’s an elder god,” Craig answered. “They do whatever they want and humans can’t see them.”

“Kind of,” Gregg said. “Very close. What’s your name, boy?”

Craig didn’t answer. The boys still stood in an unbreakable line, under buzzing yellow lights and the wind of the outside cold.

“Anyway,” Gregg continued. “Close. Humans can’t comprehend the Eldritch. They don’t conform to reality. Your life is not a human life, but an Eldritch one. Except for the fact your mind is still human.” Kyle’s own mind seemed to be spinning. “How do you come back?”

“I- I’m reborn.” Kenny stammered. For the first time, he sounded unsure. “Literally. It take me some times to…recover. Grow.”

Kyle looked at him. What the…what is even…reborn, like? Birth? Kyle felt like his brain was fucking melting at this point.

“That’s because you can’t comprehend what you are!” Gregg sounded annoyed. “Ken, you have unlimited possibilities. You can be anything, look like anything, manipulate anything you like. And you can’t even come back without having to go through more trouble. Kid, I would love to be in your shoes for a day.”

“I don’t understand.” Kenny seemed to be speaking for them all. “Why?”

“Unfortunately, there was a little trouble,” Gregg admitted. “Instead of sacrificing, you became almost…infused with an Eldritch soul. You’re something new, Ken. I’m really glad you found your way here at last.”

“I don’t…understand…” Kenny weakly repeated.

“You’re not human, McCormick.” The new leader explained. “You have more in common with our lord Cthulhu than you do with your friends. You’re an unlimited being, with so much potential. And I can show you so much. You wouldn’t have to hurt, wouldn’t have to die, not if you finally opened your mind to the Outer Realm. You can be something new. Hailed as a god. You’re something incredible, nothing we’ve ever seen before.”

Kenny was still silent, staring.

“So he was possessed by an Eldritch when he was a baby?” Kyle found his voice at last. “Is that what you’re saying?”

“Exactly.”

Kyle looked up at Kenny, with his tanned skin and crooked teeth and unkempt hair. All sunshine and humor. Inhuman.

“How do you know that?” Colby asked, watching Gregg along with the others.

“I was there,” Gregg mentioned. “You want help, right? You can join our cult, here. I can help you figure this all out.”

Kenny was shaking his head.

Kyle grasped his hand.

“Kenny, please,” Gregg said soothingly. “We’ll never find someone like you again. For your benefit, and ours, I want you to stay here.”

“I’m not human,” Kenny murmured, distant.   
“Yeah, we’re leaving now,” Tweek suddenly piped up, grabbed Craig by the sleeve. “Out, guys.”

“Stop!”

Kyle pulled Kenny along with him, heart pulsing in his head. Inhuman. The death, due to the world despising what he was. Rebirth, because Kenny couldn’t be contained to…reality?

_click_

After the incident at the gas station, Kyle knew exactly what that was. He froze, and felt Kenny stiffen next to him.


	18. The Church

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit darker than previous chapters. Character death.

“Ethan have you lost your damn mind?” Colby asked, voice higher pitched. “Not yet!”

“Get that thing back here,” A voice they hadn’t heard yet demanded. “We can’t let him go after this, Gregg. He’s one of them, we need him!”  
“Ethan, it’s fine,” Gregg said soothingly. “Put it away. Ken’s fine.”

“We can finally get Lord Cthulhu back!” Ethan argued. “We can wake him with his blood, innocent or not. He has Eldritch blood! We can get back all our followers, our family, everything!”

“Let them go, Ethan!” Gregg was arguing.

Kyle risked looking at Kenny. The boy was staring straight ahead, frozen.

“Turn back around. Just Ken, slowly.”

Kenny did, letting go of Kyle. The redhead was shaking and Stan was gripping his sleeve with white knuckles. He couldn’t see the other two boys.

“Don’t hurt them,” Kenny’s voice was ice. “I’ll talk to you, but you let them leave.” 

_“Let them go into the back and I’ll let you have whatever you want.”_

Kyle’s hand reached for Kenny’s. He grabbed it, holding him. Anchoring him.

Don’t leave me again.

Kyle turned. Stan inhaled so sharply it would be a noise they teased him with for weeks to come.

“Kyle, don’t,” Kenny’s voice was raw. He was afraid. Not for himself. Never for himself.

“I think you need to explain this better,” Kyle demanded. He stared at the gun, something that had haunted him for too long and was definitely going to haunt him for even more. “What is Kenny?”

“Eldritch, he’s Eldritch,” Ethan was speaking, holding the gun shakily at Kenny. “We need him. Just him. We need a sacrifice, we haven’t had one in too long, now.”

Kyle didn’t move. “Why does Kenny die?”

“The world hates what he is,” Gregg explained gently, trying to speak soothingly and watching his underling. “It’ll do anything to get him out of this dimension and back into the Outer Realm. Ken doesn’t belong here.”

“We can do that,” Ethan’s hand still shook. “Sacrifice is the only way to kill an Eldritch-born. It’s why there’s no more left. We had to kill them all. Or they’d stick around. Forever.”

“…Forever?” Kenny’s voice wavered.

Forever. The word crashed around Kyle’s ears. A flash, of aging and death and full lives full of sunshine and bad jokes and darkness, end. Only to leave someone behind. To exist. On. Forever.

“So I’ll keep dying,” Kenny said, voice quiet. The silence rang in Kyle’s ears. He could hear the breathing of his friends. “And keep hurting. Until everyone else I know is dead.”

“You can do whatever you want, Kenny, if you learn how,” Gregg said soothingly. “But the essence is, yes. You’ve achieved immortality. The thing that killed death is your kind. A new kind. The Eldritch-Born.”

Kenny laughed. It wasn’t Kenny’s laugh, light and giggly, but how Kyle would picture Mysterion laughing.

“Then come on and fucking kill me, you little pussy bitch.”

Kyle’s eyes widened.

“Get your fucking sacrifice, if you can.”

“Kenny, shut the fuck up.” Kyle hissed, and Ethan’s eyes shifted.

“I could kill you now,” He warned. “Right now. If I perform the ritual, you’ll be gone. Dead.”

“Good.” Kenny sneered. “Let them go, then I dare you to take your best shot.”

Ethan’s eyes shifted again. The gun moved, barely, to settle on Kyle.

“The ginger likes you,” He mentioned. “And he doesn’t come back.”

Kenny didn’t speak.

“Ethan, they didn’t do anything,” Gregg mentioned. “Keep Ken, but the others are just kids.”

Ethan’s eyes shifted again.

“They know,” Colby protested.

A noise, and Gregg crumpled.

Tweek was rambling, a constant repetition of “ohmygodohmygodohmygod” and Stan swayed.

Kenny took the opportunity to step in front of Kyle. “Go!” He demanded, shoving Kyle with all the strength he had. “You guys go, I’ll be fine!”

“Stop!” Colby jumped over one of the pews, trying to block the exit. “Ethan don’t let them leave!”

Tweek whirled and Colby shrieked, nose bloodied and falling backwards.

Kyle heard popping noises, Craig grabbing Tweek by the waist and heftily picking him up before he tried to beat the shit out of Sullivan.

Colby was back up, swinging. It was an ineffective punch, Kyle thought vaguely, before he realized he had a knife. He pushed Stan towards the door, the boy seeming to be frozen in place and couldn’t move. Kenny was bleeding.

“Kyle, get them out!” He shouted, and Kyle shouldered the responsibility. First move was get the rest of the gang outdoors. Craig was with Tweek, and Kyle raised his hand against Colby as the other tried getting in their way of the exit. 

_shk!_ His arm burned.

“Kyle?”

Kyle didn’t answer. He lowered his chin. He grabbed Coby’s hand with his good arm, and Stan came charging.

In a crash, all three were on the ground, Kyle trying to wrestle the knife away. His arm was starting to hurt.

More pops, the gun. Kenny wasn’t near them.

Kyle pried at Colby’s fingers, and Stan brought his fist up under his chin.

The knife flew across the room, where Gregg’s prone body lied. Ethan was screaming, sobbing. His arm bent in the wrong position. Kenny, bloodied and screaming in fury. How come Kyle couldn’t hear him?

Kyle staggered to his feet, warm blood dripping down his arm.

_CRACK_ He heard the sound of bones breaking as Kenny yanked at Ethan’s other arm, snapping it with his bare hands.

“Don’t you FUCKING TRY.” He was screaming, slamming him into the table. The man slumped and fell off the opposite end. Kenny himself staggered back, falling to sit. “FUCKkk.” The consonant turned wet. Kyle stumbled towards him.

“Kenny!” Kyle reached for him, tripping and falling to sit next to him. The smell of blood was almost unbearable.

Kenny was…wrong. He turned to look at him, and Kyle felt his vision fuzz. Darkness, shadow, blue. So much beautiful, breathtaking blue. And blood?

“Kenny?”

Slowly he came back into focus, a little fuzzy around the edges, but real.

“Kyle. Baby, god, _fuck_ …”

His warm, light voice was back. He could see speckles littering Kenny’s chest.

“He shot you.” The shivering tone was his own voice.

“I’ll be fine, doesn’t matter,” Kenny looked over his arm, trying to touch it but he couldn’t move his hands anymore. They were bent and bloody. “Fuck, Kyle, I’m sorry. Look at me, are you okay?”

“Fine.” He was fairly certain he was losing blood, but… He looked around. Gregg motionless, Colby muttering, muffled sobs from Ethan, out of sight behind the table. “Shock.”

“Kyle?” Stan was coming up behind them, visibly shaking. “Did he…get you?” He didn’t even notice Kenny. Didn’t acknowledge him.

Kyle looked at his boyfriend, staring.

“It’ll always be like this, Kyle,” Kenny whispered. He sounded so finished. He was bleeding out, looking angry and hurt and possibly tearing up. “I’ll always be like this.”

“I’m okay with that,” Kyle said, reaching with his good arm. He brushed Kenny’s too-cold cheek. “I’ll be here.”

“Maybe I don’t want you to be,” Kenny admitted. “Maybe I want you to live a normal life, with someone normal. I’m not even human, Kyle. I’m not…I’m…I don’t even know what this makes me.”

“I don’t care.” Kyle shrugged off Stan. “Find Tweek and Craig, Stan. I’m fine. Kenny, look at me. I don’t care.”

“I do.” Tears finally spilled. “I care. I don’t want you to put up with me, Ky. I can’t. I can’t do this.”

“Don’t, Kenny, please.” Kyle ignored the blood, straddling his lap without sitting on him to wipe the blood from his face. “Don’t. I know you’re scared, I know it’s a big deal, I know it’s a problem. But I’m not going to leave you over it.”

Kenny watched him, dragging in breaths as he leaned against the pews.

“Kill me,” He murmured.

“What?” Kyle hadn’t heard that right.

“I can’t go to a hospital,” Kenny panted. “I’m not gonna make it. I want it over with. Get…Ethan’s gun. Just shoot me. I’ll be back.”

“Not going to happen.” Kyle laughed, not that he meant to. It came out hysterical, deranged. He covered his mouth. “No way. No.”

“Then give me the gun. I might be able to hold it.”

“No.”

“Then you don’t understand,” Kenny hissed in pain. “I need to go. I’ll be back. I always will be, didn’t you hear them? I’ll always be back.”

“Kenny.” Kyle wrapped his arms around him gently as he could, feeling his blood soak into his clothes. Feeling the rattling gasps. “Don’t ask me for this.”

“I would only ask you for this.” Kenny laughed, wetly. “Fuck, I hate guns. No one ever shoots me right.”

Kyle couldn’t breathe.

“Kyle, I need you to do this for me,” Kenny murmured. “Please. It’s by the table.”

Against his will, Kyle looked. Ugly, metal, haunting.

“Just give it to me.”

Kyle looked at him. Kenny was pale, exhausted. Tears running down his face.

“It hurts, Kyle. It hurts so much.”

Kyle squeezed his eyes shut. He reached for the gun, heavier than he expected. 

Kenny couldn’t take it. He was gritting his teeth, blood hissing through his teeth. He couldn’t pick it up.

“Kyle.”

“What if you really die?” Kyle snapped. “What if I kill you?”

“Baby, I’d be so relieved.” Kenny laughed, dripping with sweat. “I wanna die, Kyle. Eventually. I wouldn’t care. I’d be happy.”

Kyle couldn’t breathe.

“I trust you. Whatever happens, Kyle, thank you.” Kenny babbled. “No one else would do this. I know it. You will. You know. You’ve seen. You’re the only one that gets it and I’m so sorry it’s you, Ky. It…it would be. Someone I love.”

Kyle cocked the gun, and slowly stood.

“I’ll count to three,” Kenny managed. “Okay? It’s okay. Ready?”

It was surreal. Like everything led up to this, like they were the only ones to exist. Kyle standing with a gun pointed at his boyfriend, his friend since he was a child, someone he’s known and loved his whole life.

His hand shook.

“One.”

Kyle locked eyes with him. Kenny was smiling, blood dripping from his lips as he twitched. In pain, emotional and physical agony.

“Tw-”

Kyle shot him. In the end, it was so easy. Just a quick spasm of the finger, seeing Kenny hurt and afraid, and one pull. Kenny froze, slumping over unceremoniously, a mess of blood.

He staggered backwards, dropping the weapon with a clatter he didn’t really hear. He stared. Kenny wasn’t moving anymore.

Kyle threw up.

He vomited, frothing, the smell of blood in his nose and the feeling of heavy metal in his hands. Kenny wanting to die. Asking him to kill him. He did. He actually did. He killed Kenny.

Faintly he thought he heard someone calling his name, from far behind him.

He felt none of the fuzziness of his mind previously, it was sharp and terrifying. The shape of a shadow Kenny, with too-many blued eyes lurked at the corner of his brain. Inhuman. Immortal.

Kenny.

Blood dripped off his chin. His shirt.

Kyle stared. The blood pooled on the wood floor, moving on his own accord. His shirt was no longer stained pink, and was dry. He followed the blood, staring, as it moved across the floor.

“What the fuck?!” He heard Tweek say, to what sounded like the confusion of Craig and Stan.

Kenny inhaled.

Kyle stared.

“Kenny?!” He heard Stan shriek.

Kenny exhaled.

“What the shit fucking mother shit-” Tweek was babbling.

“Kenny?” Kyle whispered.

Kenny’s eyes opened. He stared up at the redhead, distant at first. Then, he smiled, shirt still torn but no blood to be found.

Kyle tackled him.

“You mother fucker!” He said, enraged. “How dare you- you absolute _bitch_ , what the fuck!” He shook Kenny by the shoulders, hands moving up his face, down his neck, trying to make sure he was really there. Really okay. His voice softened as he glared at him, body shaking. “Goddamn it, Kenny.”

Kenny pulled him into his lap, wrapping his arms so tightly around the curly-haired boy that it hurt. A lot. Kyle didn’t care. 

How? He was fine, he was back, without the…the… it was just seconds…

Reality kicked back in, and Kyle shoved him down.

“Ouch!” Kenny protested, and Kyle stared around them. The trio, pale and weary, sirens outside, possible bodies.

“Kyle, you’re still bleeding!” Stan pointed out in distress. The boy glanced at his arm. Kenny sat up quickly, joy erased by concern.

“I forgot,” Kenny looked horrified at himself. “Let’s…let’s go.”

“How’d you do that?” Kyle demanded instead. “How’d you just…come back?”

“I don’t know.” Kenny laughed shakily. “I don’t know, Ky.”

“Outside you two, let’s go,” Craig ordered.

Kenny helped Kyle up, without a wince or any sign of pain. Kyle kept staring.

“I’m fine, Ky,” He said, laughing light and dizzily. “I’m fine. Let’s get you some help.”

“Everyone else okay?” Kyle asked, looking them over. Stan gave him a weak smile, Tweek looked ready to fight someone else, and Craig had his arm tight around the squirmy boy and nodded.

They were okay.

He looked back up at Kenny.

“We’re all okay,” Kenny breathed, sounding like he was reassuring himself. “We’re okay.”

“What did I just witness?” Stan said shakily, passing by the last of the pews.

“I don’t know.” Kenny’s grp on Kyle tightened. “I really don’t.”

“We’ll figure it out,” Kyle said tiredly. He leaned into Kenny, the echo of the shot in his head. Kenny kissed his hair. “We’ll…we’ll figure it out.”

The boys walked out of the church, leaving no blood behind them.


	19. The End

Kenny had his arm tight around Kyle as they waited for police.

“I saw you again,” Tweek was clinging to Craig protectively as they sat on the front steps. “Shadowed. Anyone else?”

“I kind of did, that time,” Kyle said tiredly. “Not well.”

“I don’t even know what just happened,” Stan said weakly, covering his face. “I don’t… did Kenny just come back from the dead?”

“Faster than normal,” Kenny said in the cheeriest tone he could muster. “Normally it takes me a day or more. That was…interesting, right?”

Kyle glared at him as the blond kept applying pressure to his cut.

“Why did that happen?” He demanded.

“And what’s this about rebirth?” Tweek inserted.

“Normally, I have to literally be born again.” Kenny checked Kyle’s arm. “It…I don’t know why it happened.”

“The whole thing about being able to shift reality might have something to do with it,” Craig sounded rather tired, leaning heavily on his boyfriend. “Eldritch gods. They don’t have to follow any rules. If what they say is true, if you’re some kind of demigod?”

“Demigod?” Kyle hadn’t thought of it in that term before. “What kind of Percy Jackson shit-”

“If you’re possessed , or born half-Eldritch, or whatever,” Craig mentioned, “That’s why you can come back. You can’t die.” There was a pause. “What a fucking mess.”

“Tell me about it,” Kenny laughed.

“Kenny, a demigod?” Stan repeated, bewildered. “Kenny?”

“What can I say, except,” Kenny raised his eyebrows. “You’re welcome?”

“Dude, fucking stop,” Kyle told him in the nicest way possible. Or what Kyle considered nice when Kenny was brushing off concerns and he was bleeding profusely. The fixed smile one Kenny’s face faded somewhat. “Be serious.”

“Kyle,” Kenny looked like he was going to start a fight, but his eyes drifted down to Kyle’s slashed arm and Stan’s bleeding knuckles and he seemed to deflate.

“Fine. I don’t know. I suspected I might be cursed by some kind of evil ocean monster but I didn’t expect this. I’m literally not human.” His smile was self-mocking. “The entire universe is trying to boot me off the planet. It makes too much sense and it’s fucking surreal and I’m sorry I brought any of you into it. I should’ve just dealt with what I had, rather than almost get you all killed. Okay?”

“Don’t pretend to be this fucking stupid, McCormick.” Craig warned. “I hate martyrs. Far as I remember, we all agreed to go.”

“We got answers,” Kyle said strongly. “That’s what we wanted. We know why, now, or at least we have a starting point. I’ll look into this more. See if I can’t find out something helpful to you.”

“If I can keep regenerating without taking forever, I’ll take that,” Kenny drawled. “Rather than popping out a vagina every time and having to grow up again. Sucks.”

God, ew. “Why do I bother?” Kyle asked wryly, rolling his eyes.

“Beats me.” Kenny smiled, but Kyle caught the self-deprecation. His eyes narrowed. He was going to smack the idiot upside the head in a second.

“Regenerating like that is better, right?” Stan tried, sensing the bad atmosphere. Stan ws again playing mediator. “You’ll be okay, Kenny, right?”

The blond looked surprised, expression softening. “Yeah, Stan. I’m good. I’m good as new, not a scratch on me.” He seemed to take a moment as they watched police and ambulance finally crest over the hill. “Look, thank you guys. Like, I can’t even tell you…thanks.”

“Yep.” Craig said, easily.

“We got your back, bro.” Stan nudged Kenny, and Tweek smiled from where he sat trapped by his surprisingly clingy boyfriend.

Kyle looked up at Kenny, like he had before they even stepped into the church. Something had changed in his eyes, hallowing them. Kenny wasn’t right. But neither was Kyle, either. He doubted any of them were actually okay, and he doubted he’d ever be able to forget what just happened.

People leapt out of cars and Kyle kept staring, letting someone else talk for once.

-

Kyle was the only one with serious enough injuries to warrant stitches. Kenny fussed over him, brushing his fingers over the bandage afterwards like it pained him. He carried his coat while they walked out of the hospital, meeting the rest of the boys and a slew of parents.

Kenny’s, of course, not present.

They were forced apart. Stan managed to get a hug in on both Kyle and Kenny, they barely got to say goodbye to Craig and Tweek, and Kyle didn’t get to see Kenny again.

After enduring long lectures and worrying from his parents, Ike tackling him for a teary hug and a punch in the shoulder, Kyle didn’t worry. He knew that he was going to find Kenny in his room.

The boy was actually curled up in his bed, coat draped over his desk chair and shoes kicked under the window.

“Comfortable?” Kyle snorted, making Kenny smile.

“I will be. Get over here,” Kenny opened his arms, and Kyle more or less flopped into the bed. He was exhausted. 

Kenny’s hands were warm and reassuring, tethering him back to reality. Kenny was here. Kenny was safe. Everyone was home safe and no one was hurt.

Still.

“You were not okay,” Kyle noted, cheek pressed against Kenny’s shoulder. “Kenny, that was horrible.”

“Yeah,” The blond readily admitted. He laughed, rubbing Kyle’s back soothingly. “I did just find out I’m not human, you know. Bound to cause a little shock, right babe?”

“Kenny,” Kyle said, annoying sharpening his voice, “Why the shit do you still have to try to joke everything away even when it’s just you and me?!”

Kenny was quiet, hands stilling for a moment.

“Habit, I guess.” He answered honestly. “I don’t want to talk about it, Kyle.”

“I do.” Kyle sat up, resting on his good arm, looking down at Kenny. “After what happened today, you owe me this, Kenny.”

He saw the resignation on the boy’s face. Kenny sighed, sounding far too tired for how young he was. How young they both were.

“I owe you too much, Ky.”

Kyle ran his hands through his hair, brushing it off his forehead, and Kenny just about melted. He sighed, eyes fluttering closed.

“I would still choose to know, Kenny.”

Kenny’s eyes opened again, mosaic blue locking on green. Kyle kept petting his hair.

“If I could go back, I’d know sooner,” Kyle told him, determined. “And yes. This probably will fuck me up for a while. Maybe forever. But I still want to know. I’m glad I was there. And if you try pushing me away because of it, too bad, because you aren’t getting rid of me for something that stupid.”

“I don’t deserve you.” Kenny admitted, softly, voice like breaking glass. “I don’t. I don’t deserve any of you. You especially, I shouldn’t have…I asked you to…I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking about how-”

“It’s not okay,” Kyle said, saving Kenny from stammering on forever, “I won’t say that it is. But it wasn’t your fault. You still hurt, Ken. You were…in bad shape. I get it, in a way, even if I don’t like it.”

“I won’t ask you to do that again,” Kenny promised.

“I’ll hold you to that,” Kyle murmured. “I’m never going to forget it.”

“I know.” Kenny’s eyes were raw, all walls dropped, projecting pain. Not for himself. “I think that’s why I came back. I didn’t want you to deal with it. Once I realized what was happening. I can…I can think, somewhat. Some times are clearer than others. And when I realized what you did-” He winced. “I wasn’t going to leave you to worry.”

Kyle gently scratched at his scalp, like petting a cat, and Kenny’s lips twisted.

“There’s still so much I don’t know,” Kenny admitted on his own accord, and Kyle juat listened. “I don’t know why I can ‘get shadowy,’ as Tweekers said, I don’t know why Tweek can even see that, actually, he never seemed to notice anything before. And I don’t know why…the whole time loop, and you getting stuck, was that…me?”

Kyle was quiet, still petting his hair.

“I don’t know, either.” And that was the worst part about it. He didn’t know. He didn’t know how to know…where can you go to find such specific answers? Nowhere. Was Tweek special or was it right timing? What about Stan and Craig witnessing his revival and remembering? The time loop. Kenny had to kill himself to get him out of it.

He wanted answers. He wanted to track down any and everyone and beat the answers out of them. After today, they were left with almost more questions. And that made the ‘victory’ feel hollow. If it even was a victory. They survived, but the cult was active and might know about Kenny now. And a little too shoot-now-questions-later for Kyle’s comfort.

“After today, I don’t even want to think about it,” Kenny laughed shakily.

Kyle relented. Somewhat.

“Okay. So let’s talk about you wanting to break up with me,” Kyle mentioned coolly. Kenny flinched.

“I mean, I _was_ just shot at the time, Ky, emotionally unstable-”

“Do you want to?”

Kenny sighed, crossing his arms and staring up at the ceiling.

“Of course I don’t,” He scoffed. “But it’s all selfish reasons. I’m selfish for wanting you to stay with me. For wanting dumb shit. Kyle, I wanna grow up with you. I want picket fences and 2.5 kids and a mom van. With you. One day.”

Kyle’s face flushed beautifully, hand stilling in his hair. “Oh,” He said eloquently.

“But I don’t want you to watch me die. Because I will again. And again. And again, probably forever. And what happens when…what if I can’t ever die?” Kenny’s lips twisted bitterly. “What if I spend the rest of my life trying to get to you, and I can’t?”

“Kenny.” This was…heavier than Kyle anticipated. The weight of it was intimidating. 

“I won’t ever be normal, babe. Nothing about me will ever be easy. I don’t want to make you put up with this. You’ve…there’s so many people, Kyle, that would be way fucking better for you than me.”

“I don’t want them, though.” Kyle’s eyes narrowed, and his hands moved to cup his cheek. “I can make my own decision about that. And I have no idea what your future would be, or mine. But I’m willing to stick with you. Even in normal situations, Ken, who the fuck actually knows how life will turn out?”

“And if you change your mind?”

Ah. Kyle took a moment to watch Kenny. He was afraid. He didn’t want to say it, but he didn’t want Kyle to turn his back on him. Leave him. And it was humbling, to think that someone actually might need him.

“Ken, I’ve known you pretty much my whole life,” Kyle kept his voice gentle, knuckles brushing his cheek. “I know I like what kind of person you are. I know I love you. I know that I’d rather know about this shit than not. So I know a lot of things.” He moved to more or less lean on his chest, palms resting and feeling Kenny breathe reassuringly. “I don’t know what it’s going to be like years from now. All I know is right now, I have no intention of leaving you. I need you to trust me. You’re not alone.” Kenny was still, letting Kyle just speak in the quiet of his room. “You’ve got me. You’ve got Stan, you’ve got Tweek, even Craig. You have friends, we all know what you’re going through even if we can’t understand. For now, at least, you’re in good hands.” Kyle pecked his lips, moving back when Kenny tried to pursue the kiss. “I will promise you this: no matter what, I’m not going to leave you alone.”

“You’re going to suffer for it,” Kenny said softly, eyes wavering.

“Then you’ll have to help me, too.” Kyle responded easily. “That’s what you’re supposed to do, Kenny. I’ll help you, you help me. I wouldn’t have survived the loop without you, you had my back the whole way. So I know you can.”

Kenny seemed to be giving in. He at least didn’t contest that, watching Kyle with hopeful eyes. “I can do that,” He murmured. “Whatever you need. I want to be there for you.”

“Then I’ve got a basic plan for my future and you’re in it. If that’s good with you, then stop worrying.” He smiled, green eyes confident. “And just be happy for once.”

Kenny tugged Kyle down completely to lay against him, legs hooking over Kyle’s.

“I am happy,” He said, muffled. He nosed into Kyle’s hair. “God, Kyle. You have no idea.”

Kyle smiled, soaking in everything about the moment. “You make me pretty happy too, you asshole. Even if you scare me to death sometimes.” This was kind of comfortable, though he was a little worried about squishing the boy. Kenny wasn’t complaining. “Try to stop worrying, Ken. We’ve got time to figure it all out.”

“Yeah.”

Whether Kenny would stop worrying or not, Kyle wasn’t sure he could trust a single syllable. But he was going to be around. He could keep an eye on him. Potentially forever.

Another big, pressing word.

Comforting, though.

“I love you,” Kyle said, letting every bit of feeling soak into the words. “And I’m not going to leave you.”

Kenny made a noise between a sigh and a whimper, arms wrapped tightly around Kyle.

“I love you.”

“I love you too,” Kenny’s words seem to burst, tumbling over each other joyfully. “Seriously, dude, you’re such a dork.”

“And you’re not?” Kyle teased him, hiding a blush in his shoulder. “You’re cute enough that you’re worth the trouble, though.”

“Stop,” Kenny squeaked, and Kyle lifted his head to see him looking both pleased and mortified.

“Oh, please. You know I think you’re real fucking cute, Kenny.”

“Kyyyyle-”

“Enchanting.” Kyle covered his face in kisses, making Kenny giggle. He started laughing, himself. “Captivating.”

“Stoooop,” Kenny was covering his face, reddening, over something so innocent. Kyle couldn’t stop smiling.

This was better. This was what he wanted. Kenny delighted and flustered, the darkness gone from his eyes at least for a while. Everyone was okay. They would end up being okay, as well. He had to believe that.

“I love you,” Kyle said again, to affirm it, meaning it every way he could.

“Love you too,” Kenny said, immediately, uncovering his face just to smile.

They would be fine, one day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it, guys. For Cursebreaker. Just the epilogue and it'll be done.   
> Now, this is a trilogy. There's a lot more that needs to be figured out, but I'll be stepping away from the mythology trilogy for a little while. Just so I don't get burnt out on the story. So take this as a goodbye for now for the series. 
> 
> And, as always, thank you all for reading, enjoying, and every bit of feedback/comments/kudos you've given me. It's been a pleasure. 
> 
> Paisley.


	20. Epilogue

Kyle was up early. Before the sun, on a Saturday. He spent a good few hours just getting ready, a majority of it just spent on his damn hair.

He dressed quickly, putting everything on but the suit jacket. It wouldn’t sit right under his robe, and he wanted the pictures to end up as nice as possible. He wasn’t getting up in front of everyone to look frumpy.

Speaking of frumpy.

His phone chirped, and he swiped open a picture to snort. What was clearly Tweek’s disaster of a bedroom, a single tie lay thrown in anger and lying forlornly on the desk.

**Tweek T: Fuck it, I’m wearing a bowtie.**

Kyle shook his head, straightening his own tie. Green, to match the school colors, and it didn’t match any of the cords or sashes he was wearing. Stand out, look sharp.

His phone chirped again, proving he wasn’t the only kid in South Park up early today.

**Stan M: How the fuck is that easier, dude**

**Tweek T: It clips.**

**Stan M: I just asked the place I bought it to tie it for me and loosen it. Gotta think outside the box**

Kyle couldn’t help the smile on his face, something easy when it came to the guys.

To be a jerk, Kyle took a picture of himself, crisp white shirt and dark green tie tied perfectly, from his stomach to about half of the smirk he was wearing.

**Kyle B: I’m sorry, what?**

**Stan M: Oh yay, Mr Smart can tie a tie. Color me amazed**

**Tweek T: yeah, asshole. Fuck you.**

Kyle’s smile wouldn’t go away. He checked his reflection, one more time. Curled hair tamed enough to look nice and not like a sheep in a static storm, which was perfectly acceptable.

Another chirp.

Kenny had sent a long string of hearts and other emojis that could be taken as inappropriate (though so could just about everything Kenny said in general,). Only problem was, he sent it just about the same moment Craig pictured himself and his own tie with a middle finger as the only comment.

**Kenny M: oops sry craig meant ky u nice tho**

**Craig T: Please learn how to spell.**

**Kenny M: i’m graduating good nuff**

“Hey.”

Kyle looked up to see Ike, not even out of pajamas.

“What’s up?” He asked, setting his phone down as the conversation went on with Stan and Kenny having a bad spelling/punctuation war. Craig probably wouldn’t kill them, Tweek seemed to think it was funny.

“Just wanted to see if you needed help,” Ike shrugged, cheeks darkening. “Or whatever.”

Kyle smiled, eyes softening. He reached, and his baby brother more or less ran into his arms. Kyle hugged him tightly, the asshole was already taller than him and he wasn’t even technically high school age yet.

“You’ll have to come see me a lot,” Kyle said, letting him go. “Whenever Ma drives you crazy.”

“So you’re inviting me to live with you?” Ike asked, a grin spreading over his face.

“You gonna pay rent?” Kyle lovingly shoved past his brother to start grabbing his cords. Ike beat him to it, carefully laying them in their proper place.

“Nah, I’ll be fine. I’ll get my own place soon enough.”

“No matter when you graduate, Ike, you still have to be eighteen to move out,” Kyle commented as Ike adjusted his sash.

“Watch me.”

Kyle tsked his tongue. “Come on. Keep an eye on Mom for at least a year. Dad, too.”

“Dad’ll be fine. I am not looking forward to Ma weeping over losing her favorite little boy.”

Kyle rolled his eyes. Ike and he had long since reconciled over the fact their father preferred Ike and their mother, Kyle. And used that to their advantage often.

“You off already?”

“I want to get there early,” Kyle said, picking up his phone and shoving it in his back pocket. “Will you take my suit coat with you, please, Ike? I’ll want it for pictures but it’ll make my robe look wrong.”

“Sure thing, you fashionista,” Ike said with affection. “Don’t want to hear you bitching for years about how they turned out.”

“You are the epitome of largesse,” Kyle said snootily as he scooped up his car keys. “Fucker. See you soon.”

Kenny didn’t want to be picked up. Said he wanted to walk and think. Stan was going with Wendy, Tweek and Craig offered to get Kyle and he declined.

He wanted to think a while, himself.

He sat in the parking lot for a while.

He could sit here and picture, over a year ago. Being trapped in something supernatural, something he thought he’d never escape. They’d never gotten any real answers, all these months later. Any investigation of the cult ended up with rumors or dead ends only. Any questions about Eldritch beings gave him old novels and role-playing games.

Kenny had told him not to worry about it. And truthfully, the blond seemed happier. With a support system behind him, Kenny had really come out of a shell Kyle didn’t even know he was in. He seemed genuinely upbeat, actually spent time with people. Between the four of them and unspoken agreements, both McCormick siblings were well fed at least during school without seeming ‘charitable’. Karen practically lived at the Tucker house, Kenny had almost been adopted by Kyle’s mother, who fawned over Kenny. Kenny did well with being fawned over, he was appreciative and charming and very skinny. His mother loved him. His dad wasn’t the biggest fan, but as long as Sheila Broflovski liked Kenny, Kyle could work with it.

Needless to say, Kenny’s dad _hated_ Kyle.

Kyle let that thought go. Soon, it wouldn’t matter. He was out of South Park, nearly his entire room was in boxes. And once Karen graduated, Kenny was out as well. With him.

Kyle got out of the car, holding his cap in his hand. He strode into the school, spring air crisp for the morning.

He had to pin the cap onto his hair, like a ninny, and glared into the bathroom mirror as the door opened behind him.

“There you are,” Kenny said, sauntering forward. His robe flapped open over a pressed shirt and nice slacks. “I’ve been looking for you.”

“You look good, Ken,” Kyle mentioned as Kenny took over trying to fix his cap.

“Damn right,” He responded cheerfully, carefully pinning it to Kyle’s unruly hair. “Not as good as you, though, all decked out in smart ropes.”

“Smart ropes.” Kyle laughed, the movement disrupting the careful pinning.

“Quit it, you want to sit up there all crooked?” Kenny flicked his forehead. “I know you’re not straight, Ky, but doesn’t mean your clothes can’t be.”

“Lame joke,” Kyle rolled his eyes.

“I’m not trying too hard,” Kenny defended, stepping back to admire his work. “Distracted by the sexy. You make nerdy look hot, babe.”

“Please.” Kyle straightened Kenny’s robes for him, flattening his hands over his chest. Kenny was no longer scarily thin to touch. He could still see his spine and ribs, but they didn’t jut and his collarbone was softened. He smoothed over his shoulders.

Kenny leaned in for a kiss.

Kyle relented, curling his fingers behind his neck.

“You’re coming to help me move tomorrow, right?” Kyle murmured against his lips.

“Mmhm.” Kenny accidentally hit his cap trying to get a better angle. “Whoops.”

Kyle moved back, Kenny’s arms resolutely not letting him go.

“Kenny, I need to go,” He protested with an elbow jab and a roll of his eyes.

“Come on, Kyle, this early?” Kenny tried to begin wheedling, but Kyle wasn’t giving him a chance. There was a possibility it could work if he did.

“I have to be up on the stage ready to talk,” Kyle protested. “You get to kick back and watch.”

“You’re the one that had to become the smartest kid in school,” Kenny responded airily. “Gotta show off, don’t you?”

“We’re in alphabetical order out there,” Kyle adjusted his robes one final time, shooting Kenny a grin. “I just didn’t want to sit next to Cartman.”

Kyle left Kenny laughing, slipping into the group of students congregating.

“Kyle!” The boy turned to see Tweek waving, cap askew and robe wrinkled. Craig was behind him, not taking his gaze from the boy, fingers folded into large sleeves. He looked far too happy, quietly listening to Clyde ramble at his side as he stayed close to Tweek.

He waved back, moving on.

Both boys were also headed to Denver, living together just down the block from Stan. Half an hour away from where he’d be living.

He wasn’t really giving anything up. He was moving on, but sacrificing nothing in return. Kyle was fortunate. He really, really was.

Someone tackled him from the side, and Kyle staggered to be caught by Stan, who had somehow surpassed him in height by an inch their last year of school.

“Dude!” Stan was glowing, shaking Kyle lightly. “We made it! It’s over!”

“We’re going back to school in a few months,” Kyle couldn’t resist teasing.

“Yeah, but it won’t be high school.” Stan rolled his eyes with a smile. “The shittiest point of our lives is over, Kyle!”

“Yeah.” Kyle didn’t really believe that. You never knew what your future held, and often it held a lot worse things than stupid teenagers and unfair adults. But he got what he meant, there was definitely a sense of accomplishment that came with all this.

“Look, elbow Kenny if he falls asleep during my speech like he’s threatening,” Kyle kidded, nudging his friend affectionately.

“Oh, for sure. Elbow Wendy if she gets too wordy with her own talk.”

Kyle affectionately tapped his shoulder with his fist and moved onward.

The stage. Kyle had to walk up front with the faculty and Wendy, his sash with _Validictorian_ coming with a few more responsibilities before it let him go. People took pictures, parents cheered, the color guard came in because they went to an American school so let’s say the pledge again. Principal talks.

Kyle spent the time searching for his family first, his mother easy to pick from the crowd. Both she and Ike were waving like maniacs, the boy with Kyle’s jacket draped over himself like a cape.

Kyle waved back, glowing, not minding if it was breaking his demeanor.

“Your Valedictorian has the pleasure of speaking today,” The high school principal was introducing. “Kyle Broflovski is a model student, with a long history of academic success-”

Kyle saw Stan and Kenny next to each other, pretending to wipe tears away exaggeratedly. Is mother was in the stands, actually wiping away tears.

“-Honors, as well as basketball, showing a keen mind and aptitude for speech and debate-”

Kenny slowly nodded to himself like he was having bad flashbacks while Stan laughed at something he’d just whispered.

“-As a future lawyer. Please welcome, your Valedictorian, Kyle Broflovski!”

All jokes aside, Stan fist punched the air and Kenny whooped loudly as Kyle stood, cheers echoing as the redhead rounded his way to the podium.

He stood, taking a moment. Hearing the residual cheers from his family’s corner, trails of applause from his friends. Tweek, Craig, Clyde, Wendy behind him. Beaming smile from Stan, something quietly admiring in Kenny’s. Kyle held his gaze a moment, smiled, and then addressed the crowd at last.

“Good morning,” He said, hoping his robe was still neatly pressed after all the walking. “I won’t stop and introduce myself. That’s the thing about going to school in South Park, I know most of you for as long as I’ve have retaining memories. That, or I’ve yelled at you in the library for something like sneezing too loudly.”

Kenny had joking written that in the margins of his first speech, and was the only person to actually laugh rather than chuckle politely. Kyle tried to get his smile under control.

“After years together, we’ve all reached our pinnacle of success in the eyes of the government. We’ve passed high school. But I would like to congratulate you all personally, on more than just finishing the last tests of the year.”

When it came to figuring out what he wanted to say, he struggled. Particularly since he’d found out through Karen (The girl was now editor and glad to supply Kyle with information,) that some kids in their old circles weren’t planning on going to college at all. Like Kenny.

And so, sitting in his room surrounded by nice things, support in his friends and family, and decided to not be naïve. None of the beginning of their education or some bullshit. On to better things.

“Living in this small town, I’ve had the privilege of watching each of your individual successes,” Kyle continued, speaking strongly. “And I know many of you have worked hard to get to this point. I want to congratulate you for staying with it, for accomplishing what you have so far, and what you will accomplish as the years go on.”

He looked out over the rows of faces, some as familiar as his own, nearly every single one he could name and tell what their favorite food or color was, because this was South Park. They were South Park.

“Back in Junior year, I was talking with my partner about what lay ahead for the future,” Kyle had decided ‘partner’ sounded more mature than just ‘boyfriend’ and switched it last minute. Plus it sounded a little more badass. He and Kenny were partners. “Which I also won’t stop to introduce, because literally the next day after I asked him to go out with me, you already knew about it.”

Another chortle through the audience, Kenny beaming up at him. Stan looking like he was going to burst into sunshine. Craig and Tweek, right by the front row, holding hands and watching with matching smiles for their friend. Tweek glanced back to see what Kenny was doing.

“And also, I want to thank you for not telling my Mom until I had a chance to, myself.” A real laugh that time, he thought he could see his mom laughing through her tears while his father comforted her. Ike was shaking his head, grinning.

“Anyhow, back then we were talking, and I asked him, ‘where are you going to go after graduation?’” Kyle took a scripted pause. “And he told me he wasn’t intending on going to college, at least not university.”

He really hoped the Principal and deans weren’t going to boot him off the stage for this.

“And yes, at first I thought that was weird. But why?” Kyle raised an eyebrow. “Because sometimes we get told what’s best for us. Because I tended to measure success by a script, by expectations, and that’s just not really logical at all.”

He moved right into it, not wanting to be interrupted.

“If you’re going to university, that’s amazing. Community College? Also amazing. You say you just got a job in a field and are planning to work? Incredible.” Kyle raised a hand, afraid shrugging would wrinkle his clothes. “By now, we are all adults or nearly adults. If you want to take a break, take one. If you’re going to what people say is a second-rate school? I want to congratulate you. If you’re not going at all? Congratulations, I’m so glad to see you here and see you receive the outcome of all your hard work so far.”

If the faculty didn’t kill him, Wendy would as her duty as Salutatorian. 

“Success is not measured by what degree you have,” Kyle said, probably giving his mother an aneurism. “Or even if you have one. It’s measured by what you choose to do with your life, how you live it. And only you know how you can best do that. Don’t measure your success by a script, by other people’s standards, or by how your peers measure themselves.”

He took a look over the crowd, picking out the ones he wrote the speech for. Craig, who was only going to get a degree in IT and make money to live comfortably off of. Tweek, headed to an art school that wouldn’t get him a stable job, but would make him happy. Butters Stotch, who was never going back to school and might never leave South Park, Clyde Donovan, who was taking a break year. Kenny McCormick, who was going to put his sister through school before he ever even thought of maybe returning. And as of right now, he didn’t intend to.

“You are successful. Right now, sitting in front of me, I’m proud of who you’ve all become. I’m privileged to have known you, and I want you to know that I truly mean that.” To the ones it was directed to, anyhow. “Pursue your life in a way that will make you successful. And ten or so years down the road, I hope to find you happy. I will be, and I thank you for that. It’s been a pleasure.” Everything was quiet. Kyle smiled. “Thank you, South Park. And goodbye.”

Applause, louder than he expected. Kenny jumped to his feet, followed closely by a watery-eyed Stan, Craig raising his fingers to his mouth to whistle, probably the loudest Kyle had ever heard him be. His brother looked impressed. His mom was going to kill him.

He at least was given his diploma, though he could tell the faculty was not impressed. Kyle couldn’t stop grinning. Let them be pissy. That wasn’t for them.

That was for everyone he was having to leave behind. Everyone who had stuck with him that far. For all those nights sneaking out to wage wars, or days playing Elven Kings, making up conspiracies and gods and otherworldly explanations. This was goodbye and a genuine wish for their own success, no matter how it was found.

Somehow, Kyle felt he made a good decision.

He definitely got a lot of smiles as people came up to get their own diplomas. And maybe a sneer from a certain Eric. Tweek flashed him a yellow-teethed smile, Craig nodded approvingly. Clyde’s face looked wet. Butters offered him a shy, brief smile. Stan stopped to shake Kyle’s hand too, silly as it was, and they both did it so solemnly at first they both started cracking up halfway through. Kenny.

Kenny watched Kyle like he was the world in orbit. He shook hands with the faculty, but his eyes remained on him, fiercely proud.

He made a good decision.

South Park all stood together. Cheered. Hugs, tears, screeches and thrown hats. Kyle kept his, afraid he’d yank out all his hair with the pins.

He shook his head, watching Craig and Tweek. Apparently the duo thought it was a wedding or something, because they were busy kissing in the middle of the gymnasium. He was just wondering if he should go be obnoxious, maybe throw something at them, when his own obnoxious distraction showed up.

Kenny draped himself over the boy, as comfortable as a jacket, and ran one of the multicolored cords Kyle wore through his fingers.

“Really well done, Ky.” Kenny whispered into his ear, as if anyone could hear over the din. “Very nice. Think you gave half the student body a heart attack.”

Kyle snorted, watching Stan and Wendy try to track down her decorated hat, Stan proudly wearing on his own head to her amusement.

“Good. Means no one was falling asleep,” Kyle snipped, and Kenny chuckled into his ear, pressing a kiss against it.

“I’m going to miss you,” Kenny admitted. “A year didn’t sound so soon a year ago.”

“Means in another year, it won’t seem too long.” Kyle leaned into him, letting Kenny support him. “I think you’ll like the apartment. Wait till you see it tomorrow.”

Kenny squeezed him, despite being poked with the graduation hat. “Can’t wait.”

Time loops, bad guys with guns, cults, Eldritch abominations, high school. All conquered within a year. They’d all come this far, it was bittersweet that it was ending. But it wouldn’t really. Because in another year, he’d have Kenny with him, always. In just a few months, three of his other friends were going to be living half an hour away, with all the freedom you can have when you still have to work and go to school.

Kenny seemed to be thinking, and Kyle glanced at him, tassel falling against his cheek.

“I’m proud of you, Kenny.”

The blond smiled down at him, blue eyes glowing. He gently took the hat from Kyle’s hair, pulling as little as possible, and leaned down to kiss his forehead, right between his eyebrows. The same gesture he did the last night of the loop. Something Kyle had come to associate with Kenny feeling softer, vulnerable.

They were going to be fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks, guys. See you soon!


End file.
